Lets be real; General Conference is super boring. I don't want to sit through 10 hours of worthless, mind-numbing drivel. However, for those of us who still associate with TBMs who don't know we're out, questions about how you liked conference are literally guaranteed to come up.

Obviously, the only correct answer to a TBM will be something along the lines of, "Oh yeah, it was fantastic! I was really spiritually uplifted! It was awesome!" Anything less will earn you disapproving looks and quite likely some disparaging comments behind your back.

However, if you do answer correctly, the almost inevitable follow-up is, "What was your favorite talk?" This seems like it would be a difficult one to answer without at least glancing through the speakers, but I have worked out a cunning plan. Just pick the apostle (it has to be an apostle, people actually pay attention to the first presidency speakers, and who knows which other GAs spoke) with the most boring voice. Richard Scott is still alive, right? Say you really enjoyed his talk.

99% of the people you talked to will have totally zoned out for that talk, if they didn't fall asleep completely. So they'll think you're super spiritual for having actually gotten something out of the talk they slept through. Usually, they'll just go along with it, and say, "Oh yeah! That one was great!" And if they do ask, "...which one was that again?" (pretending as though it just momentarily slipped their mind) you can just make up whatever. Say something about "living righteously in the last days" or something along those lines. Just B.S. some vague junk that sounds like the topic of a conference talk. Its not like anyone is likely to remember what you said, go home and read through a talk that they couldn't even stay awake for when it was live, and then come back and call you on it! Even if they do, you could always just say something like, "Oh, I guess I must have been thinking of a different talk, then." And if you're vague enough, there was almost certainly a talk somewhere in those 10 hours of B.S. that sort of match your description.

If you do happen to be talking to one of the 1% of people who actually managed to stay awake for Scott's talk, then it's even easier. You see, the type of TBMs who stay awake and attentive through an entire mind-numbingly boring talk like that, are the type of Mormons who LOVE to talk about Morg stuff so they can show off how much more "spiritual" they are than everyone else. As soon as you mention any conference talk, they'll immediately take over and go on and on about all the spiritual lessons they learned from it. So you don't really have to say anything! Their entire purpose for bringing up general conference in the first place was just to provide themselves with a podium on which to show off their "righteousness."

This sounds like it would work pretty well. But, for the love of all things decent, please pick somebody other than Richard G. Scott.

Why? Did he actually give an interesting talk for once?

You could always read the threads on here rather watch or sit though all 10 hours. Think of the threads as "Cliff Notes"!

If someone asked me who my favorite speaker was, I could answer that without hesitation. It's Boyd of course! Who wouldn't love him?

If you can do that with a straight face, you might get feed back from a Mormon about what they really think of him. There are loads of mo's that don't like him one bit.