I'm making another list for my TBM family of things no sane and educated person can believe in. People on this board have been incredibly helpful in the past with these lists so if you have any ideas please list them. Thanks very much!

Mine:

A book written on gold
Snakes guarding the nephite cattle
Jesus burying cities and kicking ass all over the continent
A stone in a hat
An angel with a sword telling you to do women or die
Abraham tied to an Egyptian altar
Secret handshakes
Sacred underwear (complete with skidmarks-_there's a metaphor there somewhere!)
Towers to heaven
A floating zoo

Any other ideas?

The Atonement. It makes no moral sense to punish an innocent person and let the guilty parties off the hook.

Exactly. Why does a perfectly loving father DEMAND that both justice and mercy be fulfilled anyways? We're commanded to forgive seven times seventy, or whatever, but God isn't capable of forgiving without sacrificing his son first?

God can build the universe, but be can't get over it if you use his name in vain

- A dozen Nephites building a temple like Solomon's in a few years.
- The Jardite barges. People and animals being tossed around for a year along with all of their things and their year's supply of food and water.
- The brother of Jared sealing up his record with interpreters that are missing when the record is found. Record has to be taken to someone (Mosiah?) that has other interpreters.
- The bizarre Kirland temple experience...and the more normal, but still bizarre, current temple experience.
- Ordinances for the dead. If we lived in a spirit world before being born and interacted with other spirit people, and spirit matter, why can't people in spirit prison just get baptized themselves? If a body IS required, why can't they just wait for the resurrection?

Ordinances for the dead tops my list. So God sends millions of people to earth (maybe billions) in a time when there is no technology for keeping records of who lived, doesn't bother to teach these people his "gospel" then declares that those people have to wait until the end of time to get released from whatever suffering they feel while being on the otherside without a baptism/temple work because no one can do the work for them posthumously. Yet for billions of others they have a shot at learning gods words and getting his blessings when it can actually do them some good, seemingly for no reason.

Or you can argue that they were less valiant in the pre-existence. But if God was judging us in the pre-existence why the f*ck do we need to be here now?

Its asanine no matter how you spin it.

Solomon was most likely a ruler of a small group of goat herders numbering at most a couple thousand people.

If he had a temple it was in a tent.

Not so hard to duplicate.

You may be right, but the BoM says it was made with many fine things. Why didn't they say, "We built a temple like unto Solomon's bedazzled tent, except without all the bling...or maybe it did have the bling..."?

I guess its not as deep as your question expects, but when I read the title "Silliest things in LDS" I immediately thought of a 12 year old being told 'not to drink orange from a beer (pint) glass' because we have to "avoid the appearance of evil"

Or drinking root beer from a brown bottle because it looks too much like a beer bottle. We were at a restaurant with my TBM brother-in-law and his family. A couple of his kids ordered root beer to drink and it came in the brown bottles. He asked the waiter for glasses because in the bottles it had the "appearance" of alcohol containing beer. All I could do was roll my eyes.

When I was TBM my sister served champagne at her wedding and was nice enough to provide sparkling cider for the non-drinkers. I requested a different glass than the champagne flute so I wouldn't have the appearance of evil to drink my cider in. So I was toasting at a wedding with a plastic cup. I feel really stupid now.

"avoiding the appearance of evil" is often just code for "fostering a culture of fear."

assigned friendships

requiring already sleep deprived teenagers to get up at an ungodly hour to learn about the gospel, any idiot understands teens are unlikely to learn much at such an hour

calling teenage boys elders

To clear up the early seminary problem: people are more easily BRAINWASHED, when they are sleepy. The same principle applies to boring sacrament meetings, dull manuals, no class discussions, no questions, the droning voices of the GA's at conference, the stupefying funeral dirge music. TSCC prefers its members to NOT THINK, not be fully awake. Look at all the LSD women who abuse tranquilizers.

I think it is SILLY that the Mormons are so arrogant that they think God needs them! God needs them to keep elaborate, granite-valuted records of all the names of the living and dead who are baptized, their attendance records, their tithing records, and all the dates, and their contact numbers. God, Creator of The Universe, who knows every sparrow that falls, who is omnipresent and omniscient--can't remember our names?

God and Christ would fail at Judgment Day, unless the Mormon Priesthood men are there, with all the facts. Oh, I forgot, Joseph Smith will be there at the right hand of Christ, to help judge us on judgment day--another silly LSD belief.

18 and 19-year-olds refusing to tell someone twice (or more) their age what their first name is, and assuming the titles of "elder".

All that stuff they teach you in church and conference about belief and the atonement? Forget that shit, all you need to do to get to heaven is learn the secret (whoops, I meant "sacred") handshake.

How Mormons spend millions of man hours each year in extravagant structures doing ordinances for the dead, instead of directly serving the sick and the needy. If the LDS God were Christian at all, he would add a new D&C commandment to cease all Temple work and as Jesus said, "let the dead bury the dead." They could just say that the rest of the ordinances will occur in the Mellinium, during which time there will be no needy, no poor, no sick. Instead, the highest form is worship is in the temple. It's not doing as Jesus taught, serving the sick in needy.

Being asked to pantomime your own suicide.
Satan having the leading role in the temple play.
Following the command of Satan to put on a green apron.
Being told your whole life that God knows and cares about you personally, then going to the temple and having Him depicted as aloof and un-involved.
Secret handshakes to get into heaven.
"Pay lay ale" translating to "Oh God, hear the words of my mouth." (Where are all the different parts of speech in that in any language?)
No fore-warning about what really goes on in the temple.

etc... etc... I could go on and on and on.

pay lay ale:


pay (for the hooker )

lay (with her)

ale (drink it with her when you're done)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/08/2014 01:52PM by madalice.

Is your objective to "unconvert" them? Ridicule is not generally known as an effective means.

the word of wisdom.



It's written down in one way, and they interpret it in another way, and nobody can really agree on what it's about anyway.

Besides, would a creator of the unmentionable complex universe really REALLY care about me drinking a cup of coffee?

fundamentard Wrote:
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> Any other ideas?

Dead people need to promise by proxy to give even their very lives to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The madness of Crash and Testimony meeting.

That is a whole new kind of cray cray whacko.

There are 3 Nephites that are immortal and walking the earth today.

But I agree with UTtransplant, it's doubtful any of this will matter to them.

Requiring a THREE hour block of church for kids, hell, for anybody.

Sending TEENS, brain-dead teens, out to teach others, old and young alike, about the, supposedly, most important deal in life, the deal they need to know about to become Gods and Godesses and live forever.

Ole Joey, the Chosen-One who had a Straight-Connection to God, needed money and what did he do? Did he ask God for a loan or, God-forbid find some honest work? No. No. No. He sent his slaves to Canada to SELL, for gawds-sake, to sell, the truest, most wonderful book to come to the earth....THE BOOK OF MORMON. To me, that takes the cake of the silliest things that morons fall for. If that doesn't sum the whole deal up as a SCAM, a FRAUD, well, I don't know what does.

Mormon temple could be likened to Towers to heaven since ceremonies are about sacrificing everything to "the church of lds", besides the "the 10%" annual fee on gross to be worthy to sacrifice all!

Wish we could get more of the "blind" to wake up!
Wonder why Mormon's don't see the similarity tithing and temople covenants to being charged to go to heaven? Catholic Indulgences (fees paid so relatives could get out of purgatory) objected by Martin Luther during the reformation.

No it is not to convert them. It is to get them to leave me alone when they start on the "how can you disbelieve it when...(insert lame emotion based guilt trip).

Oh and I forgot the cash registers ringing in the temple. HahahhAhha

Yeah! What is even up with that? People paying for food in the temple?!?! With how much the church makes, and the time sacrifice they require for ordinances for others, you'd think they'd grant one meal per person. They make plenty of money to do so. It seems silly to me that god would expect money for anything inside a temple. -if it was really his temple i doubt he would.

Do all this work for church maintenance and bringing in new converts. If the church ever said that everyone had to spend so many hours a month cooking for that one-meal-per-person in the temple and take turns mending each others' clothes, everyone would scream communism and run.

Saying a blessing over food that was served by underpaid staff. If you don't want them to spit in your food, pay a tip for godsakes.

A well-known pagan Egyptian burial document is actually Mormon astrological scripture hand-written by Abraham himself.

Thousands of professional archaeologists combing the entirety of the Americas just happened to have completely missed three huge, advanced, utterly unique civilizations.

A massive Hebrew civilization plopped down in the middle of the genetically isolated Americas has left absolutely no genetic trace.

EVERY word EVERY profit has EVER said is a F*CKING JOKE. Play recordings of every GC since the beginning of recordings. That should do it.