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screen name explanation
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Date: April 29, 2014 04:54AM
Winks winks expressed disapproval of my use of "Anorexis" as a screen name. I said I'd explain when I had time. Here it goes:
when I was a very thin and undersized seventh grader, my language arts class was required to participate in debates. The technical debating skills possessed by those of us in the class were sub-par at best. I tried briefly to remain focused on the issues at hand, especially since my mom worked for part of her day on my high school campus and had developed the habit of sitting in on this class from time to time because the teacher was new, was reputed not to be overly competent, and because my mother did not want her own two children's misbehavior to be on record as contributory factors in this teacher's lack of to this teacher's lack of continued employment with the school district. Amyway, my mother appeared that day to hear what i had to contribute to the disuccion in the debate.
The debate was proceeding smoothly enough, or perhaps even just a smidgen too smoothly. I had apparently made a point to which my opponent had no ready counterpoint. Standing wordlessly for a moment, he eventually countered with all he could think of, which was, "Is that ALL you have to say, Anorexis?" The silence was at first almost deafening, until pandemonium took over.
The teacher made no attempt to restore order. My mom -- a district assistant superintendent, and a somewhat anorexic-appearing personage herself -- stepped up to the podium to clarify that a comment pertaining to the physique of one or more of the debaters had absolutely no bearing on the debater, and, for that matter, technically weakened the case of the person who had used the slur. One of the funnier thugs in the back of the room commented under his breath but loudly enough to be heard by everyone in the classroom, "She's just saying that because she's an Anorexis, too. Like mother - like daughter. The apple and the tree, ya know? Just sayin'. "'
The original kid who had called me "Anorexis" was a rather clever boy in making the play on my given name - Alexis - and on my unintentionally emaciated physique. The remainder of those who jumped into the mirth were a bit more obtuse and had no idea what was actually supposed to have been funny. The significance was largely lost on them, and they probably thought "Anorexis" was an actual medical condition or an actual name.
I cried in the car on the way home that day. My brother tried to say that the kids were laughing not at me but WITH me. My mother disagreed -- she said that they really were laughing AT me -- but that if I let them see me cry or be visibly upset, they would always know that they had a weapon to use against me. My mom wasn't unsympathetic, but rather, realistic. It would be best, she said, to ignore the taunts as much a possible. Sooner or later someone would come up with something that the group thought was even funnier about something else. A tall, skinny girl in our class had the misfortune of being named Martha at just about the time Martha Stewart went to jail for insider training. Every day people used sticky tack or tape to attach cupcakes to the girl's locker. My brother talked about eating them, but my mom said they might be tainted. Was a case of salmonella or an OD of ExLax really worth it for a lousy free cupcake.
The nickname "Anorexis" stuck, but the sting attached to it eventually dulled. I now consider the name a symbol of my ability to rise above things so to speak. One funny aspect to the whole thing is that the kid who coined the term is now a friend of mine and attends my university, far from the twon where all of this happens. When we're back in the old town for a reunion of some sort, someone invariably brings up the old "Anorexis" situation, and usually takes credit for having coined the name himself or herself. We used to argue with sch people but we've long since learned that it is tough to come out ahead in an argument with a jackass. but we now just laugh at the person and leave him or her wondering what it is about which we are laughing.
I, the intended recipient of this derogatory term, have moved past it, I would never address or refer to anyone else by such a slur, but I reserve the right to use it myself to remind me that words can only have as much power as I allow them to have to harm me. Other words out there, real or coined, are potentially far more devastating than "Anorexis." I wouldn't suggest to anyone on the receiving end of such terms that theyb "just get over it." Where "Anprexis" and I are concerned, however, for e personally, it's time tp see the humor in the situaion and to get on with my life.