My NDE wasn't super exciting like some. Last year I had a miscarriage and hemorrhaged. The first time I went to the U of U hospital they sent me home after a D&C even though I protested. The whole next day I spent in bed too weak to do anything and I kept thinking that I was going to die. My kids were with my in laws and when my DH came back from dropping them off he came home and kissed my head and could tell I had a fever and at one point I fainted. On the drive up up to the hospital I felt really excited and the thought popped into my head, "today I get to be with Jesus". I felt no fear just elation. At the hospital they decided to perform another D&C, this time without medicating me. I had a large fibroid tumor in my uterus that made the procedure difficult and painful. As I laid on the table crying out in pain I felt someone behind me. I had the impression it was a woman and she told me if I wanted to leave with her I could. The woman told me to turn my hands palms up and to leave through the top of my head. It felt like my skull was opening to allow my spirit to leave and as I was leaving I felt the most incredible pure love. I knew that I was loved and accepted just as I was, imperfections and all. I had not yet completely left my body when my dad came and gave me a blessing. In the blessing my dad reminded me of my four kids and how much they needed me. I made a decision to stay and felt the opening in my head close. I also knew after this that there were not three kingdoms but just one with Christ.

:)

That's a cool experience, except for the D&C. I've had three of them. How could they do that without knocking you out? Owwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!

Three?! I am so sorry. I can't remember why they wouldn't knock me out but it was not something I ever want to go through again.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/30/2014 01:42PM by brandywine.

Would you mind sharing how this experience has changed your life?

I no longer feel afraid to die. Whatever is in store I am at peace with. I now feel that the concept of punishment and hate is not of God, but a creation of man. I wish I could say I "know" anything for sure but I don't. I just have hope that there is not finality in death. I am also more open to other religions and ways of thinking.

Brandywine, had you already left tscc when you had the NDE or we're you tbm at the time? (Wondering if/how the NDE influenced your Mormonism, if you don't mind sharing.)

I had read the CES letter and many other things but was on the fence about leaving. My husband and I would watch rated R movies sometimes and I was feeling that I was a bad person and unworthy to be with God and my family. After my experience and over this last year I just can't stay in any longer. The Mormon concept of Christianity isn't Christian as I understand it. If Christ died for us why would we need concepts like blood atonement or working out our salvation? Either an atonement is all encompassing or we have to earn our way back.

Well, even if love is sometimes conditional/imperfect in life, I bet your dad was right about one thing and some folks are pretty glad you decided to "stay" any way! :)

I hope they are. I worry that my devout TBM family members think it would have been better for me to die than leave TSCC.

Ack. That would be seriously messed up (of them, I mean!).

Earlier I nearly replied to your 'feeling stuck' post, and now that you mention this, I am going ahead with that reply in the other thread. (Not sure if it will be useful, but seems worth a shot even more now. )

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. "I also knew after this that there were not three kingdoms but just one with Christ." This comment and the pure love that you described help me to keep belief in God and heaven.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I think that if there are "prophets," they are people like you who get a glimpse of the other side and then come back. The only message seems to be love and acceptance, and it's directed at the individual having the experience, not some "calling" to go and tell everyone what to believe and how to act.

USN77 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank you for sharing your experience. I think
> that if there are "prophets," they are people like
> you who get a glimpse of the other side and then
> come back. The only message seems to be love and
> acceptance, and it's directed at the individual
> having the experience, not some "calling" to go
> and tell everyone what to believe and how to act.
Thanks for being open to me sharing. I wouldn't say I was a prophet. I didn't see God or have a message to deliver. I only felt pure unconditional love.

Exactly what I meant. It seems to me that experiences such as yours are evidence - though each individual must decide how strong they find the evidence - that there is an afterlife and a loving God. A prophet is supposed to be a witness, but self-declared prophets don't appear to be witnesses of anything. Actual witnesses like you are nearly uniform in denying that they have a message from God to the world. Instead, you all seem to dwell on the unconditional love you experienced. I, for one, find that very comforting.

I am glad you find it comforting. It was a turning point for me in my life and faith.

Wow, that is a cool experience. Do you believe that your dad's blessing carried any divine weight?

I think we all have that power within us and don't need permission to bless and heal. His reminder of my children is what stopped me from going. Just thinking of my kids was enough to keep me here.

NEVER sign a consent form that allows for surgery without anesthesia.

I didn't. The U did so many things wrong with me that I'm sure if I had wanted to pursue a lawsuit I could have.

Thank you for those who read this. I appreciate your feedback and thoughts.

Just curious, what exactly about the experience made you think Christ was real and had anything at all to do with what happened?

If you are looking for facts and proof for this there aren't any. It was an unusual experience and just thoughts and feelings, no scientific explanation for my feelings. If you don't believe me I understand. All of us were lied to for so long it is hard to have hope or faith in anything. In 1 John 4:7, it says God is Love and that the feeling I had as I felt myself leaving my body. I can't prove there is a God to you or anyone, nor do I wish to. Belief is such a personal thing and people need to come to their own conclusions. Just please respect and allow me mine.

Thanks for sharing. I am fascinated by stories like these, and they continue to shape my belief that whatever lies beyond this life is love, and that is all we are meant to do here--love and learn through loving :).

Interesting that you use the phrase "pure love." My mom came to visit me a few weeks after she died. I felt the same from her -- pure love. Strong, pure, unblemished, uncomplicated, unwavering. It was a heart-to-heart communication.

I am sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you did feel that love though. It is pretty special.

Thankyou SO much for sharing this Brandywine. I appreciate it VERY much. I have a dear friend who is dying of cancer right now. A few years ago she experienced something very similar to what you experienced. As she now prepares to die she says that she is totally unafraid of death, but this dying stage is difficult.

My mother also experienced an extensive NDE and it was an enormous comfort to me when she passed away, 3 years after the NDE, 30 years ago. To hear others speak of it helps me SO much to keep my very definite faith in an afterlife and unconditional love.

Thankyou again!

I'm glad it helped and so sorry about your friend.