The typical ward is divided into 3 classes of members:

1. The elite: Those in higher leadership positions, the wealthy, the very good looking.

2. The average.

3. The odd balls: social misfits, those with outright psychological disorders etc.

We had quite a few of the socially awkward in the ward I grew up in. One guy in particular had a very hard time relating to other people, the closest thing to describe him would be an uber geek. But ironically, would give incredibly long talks in sacrament meeting. If he was assigned 10 minutes, he would usually go for 30, and it was always incredibly boring. Everyone dreaded seeing his name on the program.

But the really strange person was in my young adult ward. This girl was beautiful, she could easily have been a model. But the only meeting she would show up to was sacrament meeting and she would come wearing a full length fur coat and carrying her pet monkey. It was pretty small, like a spider monkey - but still it's a monkey.

The odd family was us.

It turns out that highly disfunctional families have really weird kids.

Because I converted to Mormonism in the midwest I didn't have the typical Utah Mormon church experience. We were all mainly converts who had not been taught the correct "Utah" way to do things. I'm afraid a lot of our protestant ethics and habits crept into our behavior. We couldn't collect enough members to be more than a branch and when a Utah Mormon moved into our borders we got trounced for not thinking and acting more Utah-ish. There were no elite or even average. We were all pretty pathetic misfits and bumbled along fairly happily in our ignorance. We actually cared about one another in the branch and didn't worry so much about the "proper" way of doing things but more the spirit of the calling. There were a lot of non-Mormon spouses that happily came along for the ride and some even helped with callings. There was so little priesthood around that the same two guys were always called as branch president and Stake President. Those were the days.... Mormonism actually felt like a church to me then. Once I moved to Utah I was disappointed at how militaristic everything felt. If things were not done the Utah way you became unacceptable. I never felt that way back in the midwest. I never felt the pressure to conform as much as I did in Utah. I'm sooooooo glad I left that state. It took me awhile to realize that my bunch of misfit Mormon branch converts were the real deal while the Utah wards with their sparkly awards and badges were dead inside.

Hmm, that really is an interesting facet of Mormonism. The phenomena of the 'Utah' Mormon vs just about everybody else. Even as close as Wyoming, I remember drawing clear distinctions between those in the ward/stake that were 'Utah' Mormons vs non-Utah Mormons. I personally viewed 'Utah' Mormons in an UN-favorable light. They were almost always more pretentious and judgmental.

A pet monkey that's exciting I knew growing up that a lot of our church members were Odd ducks but didn't realize it too much til my non member husband came a few times. He always notices the crazy ducks and for some reason they are the ones he encounters when he does come. The best is one lady who is always the first to get up in fast testimony. She came up to both us and told us she couldn't hold her hands above her head because of an injury she sustained. The strange thing was she held them up really high just to show us she could do it anymore, my poor husband just looked at me like WTF? I just smiled and hoped the next person he spoke to was sane. He has encountered a lot of good ones but made me realize how many strange people do attend.

Looking back at who I thought were odd balls in the ward(s) I belonged to -- the difference between the typical TBM and odd Mormon was their humility.

I met 2 people who didn't fit in because they were incredibly humble.

The rest of the them seemed to believe they were better than 98% of the world.

Also, I did have an experience with an 'odd-ball' member in primary. I would characterize this girl as probably having some behavioral issues. (some kids are certainly prone to such things) She was loud, interrupting, often threw tantrums. One tantrum in particular really stuck with me though... She threw a gigantic fit upon learning that only boys would ever be able to get the priesthood. She was so mad about how unfair it was that boys got 'special powers' and girls didn't and she was so disruptive that the teacher eventually removed her from the classroom and pulled her mother (Who I am pretty sure was a single mother) out of RS to retrieve the girl.

Interestingly I don't really remember ever seeing the two in church again after that incident. I am not sure if they moved or 'quit'. A single-mother and a rambunctious, young proto-feminist certainly wouldn't have an easy time fitting in in TSCC.

That kid might have been me :) My mother isn't single but other than that, you hit the nail right on the head there.

I find that your class breakdown of a typical ward is pretty accurate, and I converted to a Midwest ward. We had a lot of Utah/Idaho mormon transplants for work though. They were usually in the 'elite' group.

The middle group were usually those with 'average' jobs - teachers, trades, etc, and they had the 'average' callings - never making it higher than first or second counselor.

The lowest group were pretty much the wierd or socially awkward, low income/needy converts.

The social dynamics and class system of wards really is pretty fascinating. The factors that go into it all, the cliques, the callings, the social groups outside church. I literally could not imagine living in Utah where your status at church is your status in life because you live around, work with, constantly socialize with, and your kids go to school with all the same people.
I was a convert, and was in that 'middle' group. But I am an introvert and do NOT like glad handing. If I wasn't middle class, and my husband wasn't extroverted and outgoing, I'd be in that lower class.

Some of the couples in my ward stood out as odd in my book. There was one where the wife was large and tall and the husband was fairly short and as skinny as a toothpick. She was the TBM, while he was along for the ride, working in the scouting program. In testimony meeting, and even more forcefully in RS meeting, she let it be known that she prayed every day that they would someday go to the temple together. I watched him as she boldly said such things, and his facial expression revealed nothing. I so wanted to come to some conclusion while watching him as she spoke. Never happened.

Then, there was the couple who sat upfront, in "their" spot, every Sunday. Both perfect TBM's, very handsome, very accomplished university graduates, with five gorgeous talented daughters, who took the gospel very seriously. I so wanted them to just break out in unbecoming giggles, or come in late one at a time, or make a mistake when they played a piano solo... just something that said they were normal and not so gosh-darn, absolutely perfect ( A lot of us were jealous, as you can tell).

There was the family who was one of the most truly Christian families I have known who could not have children of their own and had become MASTER FOSTER PARENTS of like, l5, children, many of which they went on to adopt. The kids had big time problems, mostly emotionally and keeping up academically in school, and behaving in church. They were clean and well-dressed and well-fed, but, you know, there was continual gossip about why this family would have taken yet another child into their fold. Many were sure it was the money, that the parents were getting rich off the system. I never saw any evidence of this at all....they lived in a modest home, didn't take lavish vacations yearly, did not dress to the nine's, etc. I always thought that this is what the mom and dad had made the choice to do in life. And, personally, I think they helped a lot of children.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/05/2014 04:53PM by presleynfactsrock.

I misread the post as old. My memory went back to when I was about 12yrs old and Bro. Kanister was in our ward. He was a drummer boy in the civil war.

Yup, every ward has them and I married into that family. I mean, hell, I was 20 with no eternal marriage prospects. 21, the kiss of death for brainwashed mormon girls, was right around the corner. So I believed it was Family Weirdo or nothing.

The only sad thing is that my (ex)Father-in-law isn't alive to join up with Cliven Bundy and lead his unit of the Mormon Battalion into action. I mean he lived his whole life for that schit. Nothing he wanted more than to take his arsenal out into the desert, along with all his 20-year-old Sam Andy dehydrated food to live on, and fight off all the socialist commie-loving thugs who have taken over the government. He just wanted to shoot someone. He even joined the reserve sheriff dept and still never got to shoot anyone. And he never got to defend his food storage. All his life's work for nothing. It wasn't just the guns and prepper stuff, the guy was a wacko. And trust me, the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

How about a Rel Soc Pres that is into Glen Beck so much that she attended his "something big is about to happen' rally a couple of years or so ag0. When she got home she had a special rel soc meeting in the ward to discuss what she learned from Brother Beck. It Would not surprise me if she bought a BIG GLEN signature dildo at the rally and uses it as she "prays for help daily in her closet" (direct quote}.

This is a quote from an email my wife received from a TBM Canadian relative. It's a new level of crazy. Everyone on this board is a fence sitting follower of Satan - sorry lol

"I had a new insight to the gospel missionary work when we had President No Name, who, in one of our prayer meetings made the comment that only those of the House of Israel will join the church. That bothered me a little and so I went to him privately and talked to him about it. He explained something to me that really made sense. In the pre-existence God separated the sons of Adam and set the bounds of the people according to the number of the children of Israel. (Deuteronomy 32:8) All of those assigned to the House of Israel, were to be born in the earth throughout the world into all nations. And President No Names explained that it was like taking a cookie sheet, representing the world and sprinkling the sheet with pepper, or salt. Our mission in the Church is to “Seek out” those (figuratively the salt or pepper) who are of the tribe of Israel because of the foreknowledge of God only those persons will accept the gospel. We all know that the Lord sends our missionaries to the four corners of the earth to seek out those who will accept the gospel. Why is it only the House of Israel? Well it could be that many of the children in the pre-existence were not really valiant, but chose the Father’s plan over Satan’s plan so they could get a body. This could explain why we have so many people in the world that are not really lover’s of truth and are those who would rather follow the enticements of Satan rather than the enticements of the Holy Ghost or just sit on the fence so to speak. Even many of those of the House of Israel who are not valiant in the faith may only receive Terrestrial bodies.(D&C 76:79)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/05/2014 10:31PM by perky.

This Canadian TBM relative come from the S. Alberta Moridor (Stirling, Raymond, Magrath, Carston, Hillspring-Glenwood) by any chance?...that kind of $hit plays big in those rat holes, no doubt.

Ron Burr



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/06/2014 01:35PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

The prophet
The couple who talked non stop to dead people
The scriptorian who had prophetic dreams (not)
The couple waiting for end times so they could take possession of our house when we were killed off.

Harold the RM and his old wife maude
The family who refused to buy toilet paper.
The wheat family. Wheat was their religion.
The old couple who wanted to adopt a black baby so they could save him from his pre-existant state.

And more.

Does double-down overbearing & arrogant count?

Ha-ha-ha-ha! These are really funny!

In the ward I grew up in, turns out, the members who were treated like "odd members" were the normal ones. The ward leaders were delusional megalomaniacs. They spoke in whispers, never smiled, and had a crazed look in their eyes. They were gossips and manipulators, like pesky salespeople. Some wanted to imitate them. The rest of us ran, when we saw them approaching us. They were always trying to make us date each other, when we were only 13, always asking us for 10% of our allowance and babysitting money, always making us put away the chairs or clean the kitchen (which we never used) or attend their stupid activities.

Non-Mormon is the "new normal."

Me. I could control nine children on a bench in church by flashing my eyes.

I am sure that, plus being from California, had them convinced I had the weirding way...


Kathleen Waters

Muaaaaa-DEEB!

I would like a weirding module in my car so I can annihilate bad drivers. ;>)

Dogzilla - my name is a killing word!!!

LOL Dune fans

The nice ones. Very rare, and I went to lot of wards.

Read about this ex-Mormon couple who was in my ward growing up, Church of the Most High Goddess (Redemption through Sex)
Honestly Sad: Felt sorry for their poor 8 or so children: I think the wife was under the spell of "unrighteous Dominion" (aka Mental Abuse) from her husband....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Ellen_Tracy

There were a few...one guy, a civil engineer with the government...who was paid very well & whose wife worked...lived like a pauper...holes in his shoes...never well dressed & no effort to try either...and a notorious tightwad...and he and his family never looked happy. And I knew poor families who always had a smile on their faces and made the best of what they had...go figure.

Ron Burr

We had a lady that brought her three boys to church on the back of a motor cycle.

We also had this weird dude (he was a lot like Carl in "Sling Blade") that always carried a BIG flash light on his belt...like one with 3 d cell batteries. And by always, yes, even while blessing the sacrament.

I remember he gave a 2 and 1/2 minute talk once and took out a piece of paper on the podium then used his flashlight for a paperweight on it. He started by stating "you probably wonder why I always have this light, this is why" as he held the fold of his paper down with it.

Of course that does not include the psycho seminary teacher..who was a fireman by trade and sued the city because some firemen had copies of Playboy at the firehouse. This seminary teacher taught that the "snake' that Eve sinned with was a black penis. This dude had some issues and is now an assistant principal in southern Idaho.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/06/2014 01:50AM by deco.

That's every church and every club group or association

This brother who keeps quoting Packer and McConkie.

I don't have a ward. I am a former Mormon recovering from Mormonism.

People can leave Mormonism, you can too. It's a lifestyle choice. Choosing to remain a Mormon and support it through ward attendance, family support, and building maintenance is a lifestyle choice.

Growing up in SE Idaho in the early 60s, we had this old, old woman (over 100 - easily) who would get up every F&T meeting. All her teeth were gone and she had a thick German accent so most members couldn't understand a thing she said. But we would try our hardest to listen when she talked about her affair with Brigham Young. No one knew if she was saying she "wished" she was a lover of BY, or if she actually had an affair. Couldn't tell.

You know how they say that if you can't tell who the weird guy is in a crowd, it's probably you? Well, looking back, my family was probably one of the weird ones cause I can't think of any one weirder.

I jumped out of the kitchen window to cut primary and got away with it many times.

My dad only went to PH meetings cause he smoked and didn't want to stink up the church with his "smelly" clothes. (I guess the EQ room was immune or something).

My friend and I were trying to knock down big icicles off the roof once by throwing other icicles at them. I put one right through the chapel window during R.S.

I ripped down the stage curtain by swinging on it like Tarzan. (I think it was half broke anyways).

Coming back to current times: I was a financial clerk once and we had some weird ladies in our ward. Women, usually converts, who dress up really weird with outlandish hats and such and they would bare their testimonies every F&T day. But they were weird testimonies about dreams, bad neighbors, and past lives and what have you. Then I discovered that we were paying for their housing, utilities, professional counseling, car payments, insurance and of course free access to the bishops store house. These women knew how to ride the system. I thought, wow, I'd get up and sing the praises of the church too if I had them paying all my bills, car and house.

The guy who wore a pistol in his holster every Sunday. The guy who made sure he was the last speaker at F & T so he could sum up what everyone before him said.

The dude that stood at the pulpit to pray, raised his arms into the air and said in a loud voice "ALL RISE" and everyone did for the closing prayer.

The dude that died in the chapel during F & T.

The choir were everyone was off key.

So many more and no time to type.