I am so depressed this holiday season. It has gotten worse every year. I used to be as TBM as they come, had all kinds of callings, raised 4 kids in the church, did a lot of temple work etc. When I left in 2003 (officially in 2005) I pretty much became agnostic. I tried a couple other churches but hate all the religious stuff so I don't go.

This time of year is SO HARD for me. I have no family but my kids who are almost grown (most of them). I don't know what to do with myself. We have our Thanksgiving dinner. We have our Christmas tree, dinner, and presents. But I MISS going to the ward Christmas parties, the holiday events, the trunk or treat, the special singing presentations by the kids. I miss having a nativity, talking about Jesus, singing carols. But we don't do it because we really do not believe. I have considered it but do not feel comfortable having a nativity or singing Jesus songs, as I think it would confuse my 5 year old who (I posted last week) never heard of God or Jesus.

Anyway, I am just so bummed out. No one brings us cookies anymore, there are no special gift exchanges with the RS sisters, no "secret friend" to trade presents with, no holiday gatherings AT ALL. I have never felt so utterly alone. And seven years later it is only getting worse.

I try to just enjoy the kids but they're growing up, sometimes they work on holidays, one moved out of state. It just does not seem to have the joy anymore. I do like baking cookies with my daughter and we take plates to her little friends and their families, so that's one thing I like.

I don't have any advice really. The holidays mean different things to different people for different reasons.

I love Christmas time even though I'm an athiest, but I hated the ward parties, and all that crap.

Second thought though, there is a website called meetup.com that is mostly non dating for groups of people who want to get together for various things. You might check out to see if there is an agnostic christmas party happening around you.

I understand about the time of year being hard. When I was younger, the Holidays were magical. Now they all come down to a bunch of hard work, cooking, cleaning, and spending money I don't really have. It is stressful.

Continue to take joy in the little things like baking cookies with your daughter, sharing the cookies with her friends, etc. Enjoy spending time with your children decorating your tree. Watch "Feel Good" movies together. Make it more about family then about the commercialism or birth of Christ.

Sing songs about Jesus if you want to. Does your child know the story of Santa? You can explain to her/him that Jesus is another "Holiday Story". You don't have to present it to your child as fact.

One more suggestion for you. If you have a nursing home nearby, you should go visit them for the holidays. There are so many lonely people out there that don't have anyone to share the holidays with. I once went to a home to sing carols and the kids had made Christmas cards for the residents. The residents were like kids themselves, so excited to recieve a simple handmade card.

Ditto on the nursing home suggestion. My sisters and I would go and play the piano and sing for a nursing home sometimes when we were young. Some of these people had no family left, or nobody close enough to visit them. They would tear up to see anybody who showed up to visit. They were so sweet.

Another idea is to volunteer at a soup kitchen for a holiday meal. Find a class to take or get involved with a group. You will be invited to more parties than you can handle. The only difference now is that you are choosing rather than obligated to participate. Put yourself out there. :)

than it actually warrants? Most of us here remember most of that stuff as being rather joyless. I hope you take joy in your family and the beauty that is around you now. Crank up the carols, have a nativity (I do) even as a non-believer. Little children can have toy nativity's, too; they can learn all the stories and myths of Christmas; it's part of their culture.

All the joy and fun of Christmas and Thanksgiving (many of my turkey days have been solitary and so relaxing due to divorce and distance). The mormon church is NOT the repository of all holiday fun and never was! Not even close!

Happy Holidays, Just You!

Decorate the house! Make your own Xmas ornaments and decorations! Bake and bring the goodies to people who actually need them (not the inactive =P)! Spend some time working for Toys for Tots or a soup kitchen or a nursing home! Have some fun buying presents for kids who need them! (That's my personal favorite; walking up and down the stuffed animal isles at Toys'R'Us to find the right stuffed animals for kids needing a fuzzy friend.) Play Xmas music around the house! Plan holiday outings for friends! Go Xmas caroling!

It's time to make new, happy traditions for you that fill your holidays with your own personal happiness. Remember, donating time and effort brings both happiness and fills the needs of many who need the help.

My family is either TBM and living in UT (no contact) or they were clever enough to die years ago. I make poor choices when it comes to dating, so I'm usually single this time of year.

My friends and I call it my "shame spiral". Starts with thanksgiving. A month later xmas is here reminding me I'm alone. Then New Years Eve (a couples event). A month later my birthday. Then a few days later Valentines Day.

I celebrate February 15th because it is the end of my shame spiral and spring is just around the bend.

Am I a mess?

Yep. So am I. I detest the holidays. You can't get away from it. It's freakin' everywhere. The decorations, all that happy music and well wishing. I cheer up right after New Years when I and everyone else resume a normal mundane routine. Wasn't it just Halloween? Now that's one I like.

Anyway Merry Christmas--it doesn't last forever. It just seems that way.

Christmas is a time of great expectations and they don't happen...cooking, cleaning...shopping all get in the way and absolutely nothing ends up as you planned...disappointment and depression go hand in hand with the Holidays.

Once I really lowered our expectations it began to be fun...love the lights, sparkle and decorating...Advent brings special meaning to the year. I am Catholic now...and I love this aspect of the season...changing of Ordinary time to Advent...the closeness of our Parish...it becomes a joy not a burden.

Think the best is to keep it simple and do something for others...and then do something special for yourself...it helps

stormy

Yeah, maybe I am remembering it as "better" than it was. In fact I was in charge of cooking the Xmas dinner for 300 people a couple years in a row. NOT fun. AT all.

Maybe I miss the idea of it more. I miss going and seeing my little ones on Santa's lap at the ward party, but I still take my daughter to see him at the mall.

I keep thinking "I was never lonely" when I was active, but in fact, I think I was...

Not sure what is going on with me lately but I have all these regrets that make no sense (like regretting getting divorced even though I KNOW it was best, he was abusive, and regretting leaving the church even though I KNOW it was a bunch of bull and in reality I would never want to go back). I think I am just emotional right now.

Thank you for the suggestions.

We take our kids to see the Nutcracker ballet each year. That's a secualar, but stunning, holiday treat.

We also go on family outings to see spectacular Christmas light displays - one local Florist has a masterpiece in his window with a train, animated toys and holiday music.

Every Thanksgiving weekend, we rent the movie, "It's a Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Stewart. We snuggle together on the sofas with hot chocolate and popcorn, The movie is funny and touching. By the end we're all crying.

I guess what I'm saying is that you can create new holiday/family rituals that can give you that sense of warmth and connectedness with humanity. You just have to think outside the box.

5-year-olds are positively the BEST age for Christmas! You are lucky there.

All that being said, the worst depression I ever experienced happed one Christmas season - I know that dark place. ((((HUGS)))) I hope you find joy in your holiday.

;o)

We always forget the "not so good" parts and idealize the semi good parts..human nature. It always seems so much better than it was...as for divorce...well, it happens...mine was to a wonderful man who chose the church...so I had to leave...but I took his sons with me...and he has no more children...winners and losers I guess...

Just know that this is the most depressing time of the year..again pamper yourself if you can...a good book, a massage and lunch out with a friend...

stormy

that nobody cared about me - especially the LD$, and my family too. I hate xmas. It is a commercial joke. I am an introvert so coping is easier for me than for extroverts. It sounds to me like you do have family that cares.

You may have SAD. I have the reverse, summer SAD, and tend to feel better as the weather gets cooler, because the days are shorter. I love longer days, and sun, but my brain does not. If you are depressed despite family, and activities, that may be your issue. Exercise, and sunshine would help.

I hated activities, and would always rather have been somewhere I wanted to be. As a kid though I liked activities, because I knew the people there cared about me - these were sponsored by various organizations, and churches around town, and it was the people in our town I liked. TSCC is fake friendship.

Why miss the presents, and "secret friends"? If they were your friends they would still be there for you, and still include you. It reminds me of "friends", who excluded me from Thanksgiving, because of my allergies. Their friendship was so shallow it could not weather a small difference. One finally invited me, and it was no extra trouble on her part. It was difficult for me to come to terms with the reality that my brothers, cousins, extended family (except for a few who are now gone), and LD$ don't care. Grieving a loss can be painful, but if they were true friends, where are they now?

You do have family who are here for you NOW, and can make new traditions with them, and I'm sure there is a lot of information about that on the internet. Have you looked for gatherings of secular humanists or atheists? There are holiday concerts, and I am sure you can find something that does not revolve around religion. In SLC the opera used to do Hansel & Gretel, and I am sure the ballet still does the Nutcracker - which is secular enough to me - not overload like the Messiah.

Also, you may be sad about your kids growing up. You could learn how people cope with an empty nest. Even though they are not all gone, you may be mourning the times past as they grow up, and move on.

I bet its the kid thing like atheist&happy says more than the cookies and Christmas events. Things have really cheapened out since 7 years ago. For the Relief Society Christmas dinner last year it was macaroni salad and whatever else we were told to bring which was just more macaroni salad, and I can't remember what else. The entertainment was some girl from somewhere who sang something, and the tables were decorated by individual sisters with their own stuff. It wasn't special or magical at all. It was cheap and boring. My cookies I got were really just cereal covered in peanut butter and powdered sugar. I sat with a bunch of people I hardly knew, and hugged a few that I did, did my duty to be seen there and left.

It's just a matter of personal perspective.

I barely notice the holidays. The media propaganda push for sales and consumption do not affect me at all. The traditional "American Xmas" activities loved by so many are not my activities, so they do not move me.

I care not at all for Xmas movies, tv or sports. I do not hunger for parties.

Tho I do not participate or practice, I do not suffer, because I perceive no loss of any kind. I have better things to do with my time.

accept a virtual hug?

If you enjoy the singing go to any church for their Christmas services. You can tune out the sermon and just enjoy the music. For Christmas eve. there is lots and lot of singing. Don't give up music you enjoy. I went to a concert at my church last week. It was not religious...it was patriotic music to celebrate what all the servicemen and women have done for us. It was fantastic. It was a musical group from the community....winds primarily....find community events to go to. If you want to share gifts with others you must join up with a group of people even if it is just to have lunch out at times. I don't get the "missing it" part if you don't like the LDS religion anymore. It is a shame you were so tied to it. Just expand your horizons to meet new people.

Volunteer, visit, volunteer, visit, and volunteer...(if time permits). Exercise, exercise, exercise to get those endorphins firing and seratonin flowing. Start slow, keep at it, don't give up...

My mother in law often goes with some friends to a few Christmas gatherings at different churches. She always has a great time. They volunteer at nursing homes or do their own secret santa activity for needy children or struggling families. She often says that her own family needs the most attention at Christmas. Since they are spread all over the U.S., it takes most of the month to write, visit, or send gifts.

Remember, you can define yourself outside of the Mormon culture. It's difficult as difficult gets, but the pros far outweigh the cons. Remember, let honesty reign supreme in your life...

"No one brings us cookies anymore, there are no special gift exchanges with the RS sisters, no "secret friend" to trade presents with, no holiday gatherings AT ALL. I have never felt so utterly alone. And seven years later it is only getting worse."

Give me a break, this is a morg troll trying to stir up crap.

or you get depressed just during the Holidays? Leaving the Mormon Church is not just leaving an abstract thing, it means the loss of familiar places, friends, ideas, schedules, activities.

I tried going to our local Methodist church after I left and it triggered grief and anger and I couldn't keep going. The church and people were fine. I just couldn't deal with it. (Interestingly enough, my five years in NeoPaganism didn't trigger the same responses--I guess because it is so very different from Mormonism it didn't hit my triggers.)

You might also look into Seasonal Affective Disorder. You may be depressed by the lack of sunlight as well as the Holidays themselves. It is also harder to get exercise in the winter (unless you do winter sports, I imagine) and exercise helps depression. Another aspect is stress. If you tend to be stressed, the pressures of the Holidays may be upping your stress levels, which can trigger depression. You might also check out your "self-talk"--thoughts and images that you play through your mind. You may not even be aware of them. Negative self-talk is a contributor to depression. A book titled Mind Over Mood is a good self-help resource for that.

And--you are not alone. Post here. As hard as it might be, try to be in-touch with friends and family. See what enjoyable activities you can pick out of the craziness of the season.

I also have the reverse SAD like someone above. I don't meet many people who have it. I also have regular old SAD--but I am able to deal with it if I go walking (both times of year).

My kids and I went through some rather horrible years after my ex left. I worked 12 hour days 7 days a week to be able to provide Christmas and pay the bills. I'd work myself to death. We weren't active mormon. I still believed in something--still do, not sure what though--the Jesus songs used to make me frustrated a few years ago, but not the last 2 years.

What my kids and I did--we have a lot of Christmas movies we love--Christmas Vacation being our favorite. We'd watch Christmas movies every night. They are too old to do it now--but it has only been in the last few years that they weren't living here the weeks before Christmas. We also would go look at lights every night and stop to get a soda out of a machine in a little town called Millville in Cache Valley. We always ended up there looking at lights EVERY NIGHT for 3 or 4 weeks before Christmas. It gave me peace.

I never liked mormon "celebrations." My family had a Christmas Eve party every year from as far back as I can remember at my aunt's house. She died last April at age 86. My parents both died 2 years ago--my mother just before Christmas. Christmas has a whole new meaning to me now.

Oh--we also started making TV quilts for friends and family. We have them down to very simple steps. Last year, I made 13. I also crochet afghans for friends and family--usually 2 a year--and I start around TG doing it. This year I'm making them for my old camp leader who I've been friends with since age 14 (she is in her 80s) and my dad's one surviving sibling who is also in her 80s. I have several widows I do things for every year (and during the year).

I had to cut way back on things I did for neighbors and concentrate on my family--my kids. Make your own traditions.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/24/2010 12:30AM by cl2.

Have you ever thought that maybe you have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? I do and I start getting depressed as the days get shorter. A dawn simulator has gone a long way towards relieving my SAD.

I got my dawn simulator from here:

http://www.lighttherapyproducts.com/


Here is some information on SAD:

http://www.lighttherapyproducts.com/sadinformation.aspx
http://www.lighttherapyproducts.com/articles.aspx

are you near your home town or rural place, or an urban neighborhood?
*are some places empty or have new people now? has your street changed or apartment building or are you in the same place?
did new tenants move in or some especially friendly person leave?
did your gym change (ie they build a new one? or did lots ofthe women go to Curves ?) did the colors change & become less pleasant?
did you find you have less money (with bills or something) so you get less treats or eating out times now? or less chance to pay for a movie or eat with anyone out?
Please check some component of your routine and identify or notice what social moments of your life has changed - what else is different now?
what other routines differ See if you can identify what routines are different you can try something else you might enjoy.
(For instance, parenting teenagers keeps you busy they have a round of routines everything from their parties, homecoming, football, fund raising car washes, carting them around so when one grows up wow there's a change in routine HOWEVER maybe you can try neat things for your youngest. & possiblynow is time to try neat things for yourSELF too)

Just saying- check the routine. & check the neighbor's- are more living sharing rooms in houses or apartments around you? they might be less social time on the front porch or in the driveway- maybe someone just got a bit bigger Television or bluray movies and you don't see them as much.

you listed signs of engagement but in Visalia they meant I was DISENGAGED from my own neighbors- running by in a hurry to go to the ward Friday gathering- or missing it for one at work or my kids' - to meet at a potluck on a work night (when it was inconvenient or impossible to cook)- in a town of 110,000 near two towns of 65,000 with ever changing ward boundaries & Los Angeles move ins- you never know the people from year to year in the ward. So here I was after work, dragging myself in to sit with strangers- walking away from friends and neighbors that really loved me to go to church?! A Long ways from paradise.

but if it was a branch- of everyone I grew up with- if my home town existed still with the same people- if the family farms hadn't been purchased by corporate farms in big mergers & those original families still lived there not temporary farm employees- THEN I was have a some Christmas party -

if the little church in the mountains still existed my husband grew up in- if the saw mills weren't closed in the eighties and logging wasn't stopped - and the saw mill was still screaming down the hills- if the store fronts weren't mostly boarded up in ___________ville- if the other friends & family members weren't working in three other states because the little town in the mountains it died & no one can go back & live there again
THat would be some Christmas party! now the little church he grew up in meets every other week without a priest (its catholic), they have one potluck once a year (its a spaghetti feed because no one'se left to catch enough fish for a fish fry or the streams aren't planted enough fish plus the stream by their home it went dry years ago when the town water department diverted it to the water supply)
THAT would be some amazing Christmas place-
somthing that doesn't exist- aint' no timber mill in town. it doesn't exist.

so we're down here. SO CAL;

the ward is not the same!!!!!!!!!!! who / cares about their party

so what I am asking you, is do you mean your community has gotten more urban? and you need a little niche? or that your apartment or house now faces a busy street? or

what is it that is not happening for you or is happening differently in your life?

GOOD! has it jumped out at you? have you listed it?
now look at the great list of alternate routines step back and see what you can add or re add to your life! that will make up for or add in whatever you found was missing from your list.
like : be your own Santa

You are obviously an odd one out.
Most people who leave the Church, whilst missing some things, gain far more such as real friendships.

I also suspect you are a troll...

'Navigating Midlife: women becoming themselves' by Robyn vickers-Willis

"We have our Thanksgiving dinner. We have our Christmas tree, dinner, and presents. But I MISS going to the ward Christmas parties, the holiday events, the trunk or treat, the special singing presentations by the kids. I miss having a nativity, talking about Jesus, singing carols."
You could still go to those activities you know. There's more than the LDS church that does those things. (Shucks, go LDS and try and convert someone.) You can make it an opportunity to teach your five year old what you really think about things. To teach your child that some things you do, only because its cultural. I don't understand why you would miss talking about Jesus if you don't believe in Jesus. Everything else here, I can understand. Shucks, most of the stuff here could be replaced by better stuff. Volunteer at a soup kitchen instead of going to the party. I still sing carols, despite not believing in Jesus.


"Anyway, I am just so bummed out. No one brings us cookies anymore, there are no special gift exchanges with the RS sisters, no "secret friend" to trade presents with, no holiday gatherings AT ALL. I have never felt so utterly alone. And seven years later it is only getting worse."
If you work, doesn't your work do this? If not, why not start it yourself? You have to have friends, somewhere, that you could invite to your own party, on your own terms, to do exactly this.

You know what? I think this is a troll after all! Haha! Who would miss that stuff?

I don't miss any of those things! I always couldn't wait to leave church activities

I found some non Mormon church services that I liked much better, and a few I didn't care for, either.

Now I crank up holiday tunes that I happen to like, make really great meals, go skating or skiing, and if I'm alone, catch up on movies I haven't had time to rent.

My story is similar but I don't feel sad or miss it. For me the whole buying and exchanging gifts started to feel forced. So my mantra has become Presence not Presents.

Travel. You don't have to do a thing other than go somewhere else: it could be a beach vacation to a tropical place, a vacation to a country where there is no Xmas (I like Thailand), or you can go to a place where there is a lot to do over the holidays, like London, Paris, New York, Montreal, etc., and you can enjoy the "traditional" stuff of others with no emotional/intellectual commitment of your own. And you get to be pampered with not having to cook, clean, etc.

I have no belief, but I've gone to high mass in Notre Dame in Paris and been moved. I've also spent relaxed days and evenings wandering the shopping districts of big cities all decorated for the season, listening to the music, enjoying the crowds.

Make up a new "tradition" for you and your family!

You're the classic case of someone who shouldn't have left.
GET back in there, crawl on your belly if you have to.
You need Mormonism.
The great social teat of Mormonism served you well.

We're all different and some of us are not up to the independent life it takes to be out of organized religion or group mind.

Non-religious people can 'soak in' Christmas for the wonderful religion-based (historically) tradition that it is. Are there not Christmas concerts and other events in your community? If there are, why not attend/participate? IMO, you need to 'Christmas-empower-yourself'.

Do your local firefighters, YWCA, Salvation Army, or organizations (churches?) not have some sort of Christmas outreach/assistance program that you can join? It seems to me that the 'Spirit of Christmas' is about giving, sharing and helping. Would the world not be a better place if people chose to be just a bit less self-absorbed and more mindful of helping someone or a family or other group of people (e.g., recent immigrants) in need? I think so.

You posted that you like baking cookies with your daughter and taking plates of them to her friends and their families. Clearly, your 'soul' is refreshed by making an effort on behalf of others at Christmas. There is your answer, IMO. Suggestion: Do what you enjoy doing - and give happiness at this special time of year. Our troubled world sure could use more of it!

I left the church at 15 but had many wonderful holidays with my (still True Bluers) family. I now have my own family and struggled for a few years on how to celebrate these holidays I truly didn't believe in but found so much joy in as a child. I have created new traditions for the holidays to make them as magical but in a more accepting way. Here are a few things we do with our daughter (age 7) and the family we have created around us (and by family I mean like-minded Kindreds):
We celebrate different holidays with our friends. We have a friend who is a Rabbi and we celebrate Hanukkah with them by gathering for snacks, games with the kids and our friend tells the story of Hanukkah. We learn about Yule, where Christmas came from. We read books about the stories of Christmas from the Jesus tales to the secular tales. We have parties with friends decorating cookies that celebrate different holidays. This has caused a fairly large group of wonderful families (from Jewish to Muslim to Pagan to Christian to Buddhist...) to gather and broaden their horizons all while sharing the magic of the holidays. It's beautiful and has helped create some wonderful traditions for many families that live outside the dogmatic traditions of modern day religion.

Just because you don't believe in an idea doesn't make it impossible to celebrate the beauty of said idea.

I have been where you are. It would come and go. I am an analytical person, so I thought about it, and identified the triggers, the specific things that made me sad during the holidays, and cut them out.

I was sad when the children and I were TBM's, because my ex-husband was inactive, and he never saw the children or me perform, never went to the parties, except the main ward Christmas party, which his TBM parents forced him into. I think I was the very loneliest in an unhappy marriage--even more than I am now, when I'm alone in my house.

Memory contracts and distills the moments, and leaves out all the in-between stuff, like housework, meal preparation, waiting, sleepless nights, etc. I agree with the poster that you--and most of us--sometimes sugar-coat our memories.

This thread has been so good for me! I had forgotten how exhausted I always was during the holidays. I really enjoyed 75% of everything we did, but that dreaded 25% almost killed Christmas for me--until I learned to say "NO."

One Christmas, I changed my attitude. Instead of cramming everything into the hectic weeks before Christmas, I decided to do some of the fun things all year round. For example, you can bake cookies with your daughter for her school class, on an ordinary day. My daughter and I changed the decor of our cookies for Valentine's and Easter, etc. I would try to have a special candle-light dinner at least twice a week. The kids and I would play games together on the nights their daddy had to work

You and your children can sing songs other than Mormon religious songs. Get a Walt Disney songbook. Maybe your kids have a favorite singing artist. My kids sang Beatles songs, and Ann Murray, Beachboys, Elton John, and especially John Denver.

You can read to your five-year-old about science, nature, animals, other lands, fairy tales. Instead of by a roaring fire, you can read together on your patio on a summer's evening.

You get my drift. I took Christmas back from the Mormon church! What was once so hurried, what had once had such high expectations, and had to be PERFECT, became casual, and part of our family traditions. I didn't even tell my family about this.

I loved to sing, besides play music, and I joined the Junior League women's singing group, and we sang at rest homes and hospitals at Christmas, and also during the year. I volunteered at my children's schools, as room mother, PTA secretary, president, school board member, social committee, etc. I was happier working with those people than I was with the Mormons.

I think money cures a lot of ills, and I will assume that you don't have a lot of it, so I won't suggest a family ski trip or a visit to Disneyland or Thailand, etc. When my ex-husband abandoned us, we were poor for a few years, but we played in the snow, built snow forts and snowmen, and had snowball fights. I still hike up the canyon with my dog. I went today, and it was 18 degrees (painful) but sunny and absolutely beautiful! Now the kids are gone, I do a lot of the fun things alone.

You are probably going through a sort of midlife-crisis-in-anticipation-of-an-empty-nest sort of thing. There's really nothing to be afraid of. Think of aloneness as "solitude." Enjoy your peace!

You are still braniwashed! Mormons are numbers-obsessed. People should have lots of children. Even if you have only one, you can enjoy that one child to the fullest, and have a rich, wonderful life with her! I have only one grandchild, and I devote a huge amount of thought, love, and time to her. Unfortunately, she lives far away. There's always someone more alone than you are.

Popularity is also a Mormon obsession. Women, especially, are judged by the number of friends and number of "contacts" for conversion they have. Mormon women often exaggerate their popularity and their happiness. They put on a show of how happy they are, while taking antidepressants and tranquilizers.

Not that there's anything wrong with that! You should see a doctor. Maybe you need to go on an antidepressant for a while, but maybe you have a sluggish thyroid, anemia, vitamin deficiencies, allergies, SAD, a sleep disorder, or something else making you feel unhappy.

Remember, most of the time your phone rang, it was some Mormon wanting you to do something you didn't want to do.

There is so much to say! You could find others who are in the same situation as you're in. Once, a divorced single neighbor picked me up in her car a few days before Christmas, and said, "I'm going to drive up to the top of the hill, and scream! Come with me!" We both felt better.

One Christmas eve I was all alone. I could have been with my single friends, but I was supposed to pick up the children at the airport, from visiting their father and his wife, so I waited at home alone, because their plane was delayed for 6 hours. Yes, I cried. They had a worse time than I did.

Your children need you to help them get through the holidays with good cheer. Do it for them!

These posts are an inspiration, that we can change our life for the better, when circumstances change.

I have some never-married and divorced single cousins that play dominoes every Christmas Eve. These same cousins have a "wake" to honor their deceased parents, on Christmas Day, and they go to the gorgeous country cemetary, put wreaths on the graves, sing, tell family stories, and go home and eat, talk, and laugh.

I have only one--ONE--friend in a whole neighborhood of ward members that I have known for over 15 years. The Mormons are shunning me, and it hurts. But, I have non-Mormon friends from high school and college, and non-Mormon colleagues at work.

At work, we do "Sub For Santa" for a needy family, and we shop for toys, clothes, even a bicycle, skis, a tree, decorations, etc, and wrap and deliver it all. That is the most fun thing--ever!!!!


If I'm in the mood to make Christmas treats, I do it, and take them to the office. I have a friend who bakes dog treats! She's a happy person, and she sends us a Christmas card every year, with pictures of her dogs with Santa Claus. See? You adapt!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2010 04:24AM by forestpal.