We've received a Christmas card from TBM SIL and BIL that basically only consists of a photo (in three separate groupings) of their grandkids. The red border on the card tips it off as being a holiday card and at the bottom it reads "the family of John and Jane Doe". BIL and SIL are not in the photo; there is no identifying with "John and Jane" other than this is a picture of their grandkids.

Grandkids are wonderful; make no mistake about it. But there is something odd about being in your mid 50's and having nothing to communicate about your life in a holiday card other than photos of your grandkids. A photo of the whole family perhpas but no one is on the card except the kids.

I gather that within our TBM family there is some unspoken competition about who has the most kids/grandkids. When TBM MIL calls us up to announce the birth of a new grandchild she speaks about numbers and "producing."I find this unsettling. Its like speaking of a herd of cattle.

Anyone else experience this?

No, can't say that I relate to that one. My family are never-Mo, the only one of us three siblings to have kids is my sister. My brother only just married last year, at age 47. My sister is 45 and her kids are 6 and 8. They were the first kids in our family since my sister was a baby, so it was a huge deal for us. We were excited. LOL But I don't expect any more additions until my little niece and nephew grow up.

My mum proudly tells us she has over 60 people with her DNA. About 25 of those are great-grandkids; there are still plenty of grandkids who aren't married and/or of child bearing years yet.

Breeding like rabbits is a badge of honor for her. She complains, "I have so many, I don't have time to know them all."

So special! :)

Hmmmm.. while I understand what you're getting at by pointing out how some people assign their whole value based on their posterity... I have to say that a LOT of people feel that christmas cards are just for kids pictures and will ridicule anyone who puts even a family picture on a christmas card.

"a LOT of people feel that christmas cards are just for kids pictures and will ridicule anyone who puts even a family picture on a christmas card."

Really? I've never heard of this. I know tons of people who put family pictures on Christmas cards.

It did take me a long time to come to terms with the fact that in 100 years from now, no one will be out there looking for me when they're researching their family lines. I'll be no one's ancestor. That's kind of an odd feeling, especially when you've been a part of an organization which places so much emphasis on that.

And it wasn't unspoken. My parents won--not with me, obviously, but they had enough confidence to name me after a man before I was born. One of my dad's two sisters had six girls before she gave up.

I think it is so cool that my sons are fathers and uncles and their children are first cousins. The card said something like"happy holidays from proud grandparent msmom and drdad."

This year we managed to get the entire family in one picture, but that only happens every few years.

We had a family (The John Boden Family, this was how they announced themselves) in our ward that was ultra-TBM and it was the same for them. He was in law school, she was an uneducated house frau and their family was very, very odd. You couldn't carry on a conversation with them because they only talked about their kids or homeschooling. They came across as very creepy and shallow and contrived.

My bf and I have sent cards showing us with our dog, or even only the dog. And believe me, we do have a life without him too.