How should I reply to this email I received from our bishop last night?

(real names omitted)

"Hi (virgil), I was thinking about you guys (me and my wife). How are you guys?"

Here's the situation: I left the church last year in September, and my wife left earlier this year in January. Since then, we've both officially resigned and got our confirmation letters (that our names were removed) back in March. Since March we've been shunned by ward members (even those we assumed were "real" friends). They also make it a point to go onto my wife's fb wall (of course they stayed friends with her for gossip on us probably) and make comments judging her opinions on her new found freedom. And of course they have bashed and stuck up for the church when we show support for the equal-rights movement taking place right now with KK and John Dehlin.

That being said... how should I reply? Any suggestions? (Feel free to be as serious or as snarky/witty, or as "anti-mo" as you want in your suggestions. Part of me wants to make some good points against the church and point out why we left, but then part of me feels he's expecting or wanting to hear this so he has an excuse to tell others to stay away.) At this point I don't care what I send back to him, and we've already determined all of our alleged "friends" were fake.

So yah, looking forward to your suggestions if you can help. :)

-Virgil

+1

Never better.

I' d just say you are doing fine and are happy. Maybe add a few details of your life and leave the church out of it

Do'n great how bout you.

"We're great, thanks for asking! Work is going well and we are looking forward to our vacation. Hope all is well with you and your family."

This, but add "to Hawaii" after the words "our vacation".

Personally, I'd be nice. Unless of course you don't like the guy.

If he brings up the church, remind him you're no longer a member and are not interested.

Don't answer. Any answer will be viewed as an open line of communication.

"I'm Great! Was following the Kate Kelly saga. Soooo glad we made the right decision to leave the church. Thanks for checking in".

No response is the best response.

I wonder....

Could he be asking because, in light of today's news and TSCC, he's having doubts?

It could happen!

I like the Fine, ad how are you? The last person that FBed me to say "hi" ended up wanting info on leaving the church. You never know....

If he was a bishop that was your friend before his holy calling, then I'd reply. If not, the odds are he is enquiring about you and your wife as a way to open up a conversation that may lead you back to church.

My health in the naval is good. Never had more strength in my loins.....etc.

How your garment rash after that heavy rain we had last week?

That was great!

Sadly, our Mormon friends in our ward and neighborhood were fake, too. Probably you will find some Mormons will be your friend if you are a blood relative, or if you grew up together. Concentrate on your non-Mormon friends, work colleagues, neighbors, the other 99% of the human beings around you who not judge, hate, and shun others. Most people are nice!

This bishop is not your friend. He has an agenda. He and his wife, in their heart and mind, have condemned you to "outer darkness" and think you are being led by Satan. He and his wife (and the rest of the ward) are hoping to hear that disasters are striking you down, which would support their testimony. IMO, this is a definition of an enemy.

I would not respond at all.

If you're the polite type who must acknowledge someone, Rain's answer is perfect: "Never better." Life got so much better for me and my kids after we left.

After seven years of experience, I prefer not to engage in conversations with Mormons at all. I promise you, there is nothing you could write, do, or say to being reason into the mind of a Mormon who is still immersed in the cult.

Do not include a "thank you." If you do, you will show weakness. Have the Mormons ever said "thank you" to you, for your money, your attendance, your calling, your faithfulness?

Do not ask how they are doing. This opens the door to another reply, and an excuse for him to contact you again.

Congratulations. You deserve a fresh start, Go out and enjoy the rest of your life.

Mark it as spam and let your filters handle all the rest of church email similarly. You never have to see it or consider it again.

bishop, so glad you made contact. It is amazing that since we left so many of the old members have made contact to ask us for more information in why we left to help them figure out how to leave without the problems they have heard about.

If that is what you are looking for we can put you in contact with a number of web pages that will help. Many of the sites have full information rather than the censored and altered stories we used to get in the church. It really floored us just how much the truth is different from what the manuals told once we actually checked the references.

So, if you are looking as so many others who have we'll be glad to help. Also to put you onto a good financial advisor who has helped us turn that 10% tithing we are not putting into savings and investments to work. It is really something to watch the dollars grow as we look toward the future. More funds for the kids College savings and in the next couple years we'll be paying cash for the next newer car we buy.

All in all, it has been a great move for us.

So glad you made contact and we'll help you any way we can.

If you reply, he assumes that you are open to communication with church members. Reply to this and you will be back on the psych ward's radar. If he was genuinely reaching out to you as a friend, the e-mail would have been more substantial that "how r u lol"

If you have no desire for contact from the church, I would reply with a simple "If you are asking me as a friend...Thanks for your concern..life is good. If you are sending this as a representative from the church and this is some activation project then please understand that we have no desire to have any contact".

My response, because I like to be a little cheeky..."Life is good. We have found an abundance of time and money to enjoy some of the things in life that we used to take for granted."

You can have a little fun with this! :-)

Enjoying the new job and advancement and higher salary, the freedom to travel to Europe this summer. Loving our new BMW -- red. Always loved red.Kids are all getting top grades, and enjoying sports. Life has never been better. Thank for asking. Maybe you can meet us in London when we go next month.

I would not reply to the bishop. All who say he's looking for an angle to reactivate you are right. Not to mention, you're telling us this guy/wife gossip all over F'book about you?

Come on, you already know the answer to this one.

Responding would give him permission to hound you again.

Mark it phishing scam and move on.

If you really feel you need to be polite, get over it.

Shun him. Simple and gets the point across. Don't reply.

HAHA LOVING all of your ideas! (Especially the snarky and rude ones!) Bwahahah.

Part of me WANTS to send an unfriendly reply. Why? When my wife told him about the physical and sexual abuse she endured as a child, and the fact that her (then) bishop ignored her (and her other 9 siblings) pleas for help and never reported or escalated the reports, this bishop brushed over that fact and essentially told both of us to have more faith. He then proceeded to tell my wife basically that the reason why she hasn't emotionally healed from the abuse is that she needs to have more faith and exercise forgiveness basically.

So yeah, part of me really wants to be rude, but in a tactful and snarky way.

Thanks again for all of your suggestions! Love this place!! :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/26/2014 06:56PM by virgil.

Hopefully, you're the same.

I think you should mention how all those Mormon friends have now abandoned you and shunned you. Ask if this is what Jesus would like? Tell him his cult (you word it any way you want) does this to people all the time and it is one of the reasons you are so sure you have made the right decision and you are very happy regardless of the meanspirited people who you once thought were true friends.

My opinion is that you just send a nice short response. "Hi, we're doing well. How are you?" and just leave it at that. No need to be rude, and no need to assume anything at this point.

Agreed. As you can see from the speculation so far, it can be just about anything. Or much ado about nothing.

It was polite I would answer. Say how life is opening up and how it is liberating no longer having to pretend what was obviously false was true. Also I would say how disappointed you were that so many members who claimed to be friends shunned you but you understand that every person who shuns is basically saying that they are afraid. Most of them will come around in time.

Ask how he is and if he ever needs anyone to talk to you are there for him. That you know that the CES Letter has really startled so many Mormons that it must be a tough time to try and lead.

Reply...

"Hi Bishop,

Thanks for your inquiry. The Mrs. and I are doing great! We've been using the extra time and money saved (by not attending the Lard's church) to expand our social circle. We've found a great group of people here in the swinging community. Have no fear we draw the line at goats and donkeys, for now at least. Everyone says it just takes a little time to work up to that.

Anyway, maybe we can have you and Sis. Bishop over for dinner and some fun sometime soon. Well, that's all for now. Keep in touch!"

send him the CES letter and tell hem you cannot discuss anything with him until he has read the letter and given you proof that he has read it.

I wouldn't waste my time or energy replying.

Done, done, done. Nobody gets/deserves an explanation.

"I'm wonderful. You can be too!"
[Attached: CES Letter]