I'm new to this site but have browsing it for a couple of years of now. I rasied in Utah and brought up strictly mormon. I went to church every sunday, didn't date till I was 16 and my plan was to marry a mormon boy after his mission and get married in the temple, until I dated a mormon boy who was really just awful for me, and that's how I started leaving the church.

I eneded up meeting my current husband at the age of 18. He wasn't mormon and still isn't to this day. We dated and lived together for a good three-four years before we got married. During that time my relationship with my parents was awful. I can't tell you the number of heartbreaking emails I got from them with how dissapointed they were in me for leaving the church and being such a bad example to my siblings...I would say boarderline emotional abuse...but anyways I honestly think they believe their religion and thought I was doomed and would go to hell because of it.My husband has treated me better than any mormon guy I have ever dated and is so accepting.

My parents always let the church know when we move and so I have had missionaries come find me and members introduce themselves. Now that I've been out of the church for 4 years I really don't know what my beliefs are, but I'm finding a lot I don't like about the church. It really makes me sad because that was my whole life, and now I feel like i have nothing to do because I have all this freetime I never had before.

My parents are going down the same route with my sister who will turn 18 soon. She's dating a great guy who is mormon but has a pericing so she's banned from ever seeing him again.

Anyways sorry for the rant, I'm glad I can come here for support in all of this!

-usedtoknow

Thanks for sharing. Best wishes for you.

It sounds like you got things figured out at a young age. Welcome to the board!

It's invasive for them to give your name and address to church members when they know you don't want to participate.

Also, maybe you should let your sister know that you are there for emotional support. If she wants to see this guy, she can resume seeing him when she's 18. But she might have to move out if your parents decide to play hardball. But she probably needs to hear that your parents are way to heavy handed and controlling, so that eventually she can break free from their control.

Hi there, and so glad you shared. Isn't it amazing the silly things that people (mormon and non-mormon alike) judge each other by? Oh, he has a piercing in his ear or look, her skirt is one inch too short.....I mean, do they even give themselves a chance to get to know the person at all??

Too often, the answer is no, no, no. I am as old as methuzala, and to this day, I often nearly find myself avoiding someone who has eaten way too many twinkies because that is what my mom did, accompanied by very sarcastic comments. Of course, the Cult ground in prejudices in me, too, way, way deep. If I realized someone smoked, I plain did not give them the time of day, and that was the same with if they drank wine or beer.

When you are taught to judge people this way, it is not an easy habit to drop. I am so glad that I have learned a different way of behaving.

Keep on posting and looking for the truth.....I am so glad I have chosen to resign. I love life on this side of the veil....the veil of reason, sanity, freedom, fun and independence.

I think you said you didn't know what you believed. Perhaps you need to check out a mainstream church and if you like it go back a few times to be sure or try another one. If you zero in on one, tell your parents you are happy with the spiritual path you have chosen and will not allow them to tell you this new path is wrong. You are an adult and able to choose for yourself. If your hubby goes along with you fine but that is not necessary if he is not used to going to church and is happy without attending a church. I am sure the Mormon mishies will keep visiting if you don't make it clear what you are doing. So I would try to figure this out fairly soon.