As a TBM there were times when I really tried hard to fulfil certain callings, despite numerous demanding responsibilities outside of church.... which made it all the more frustrating to then be chewed out by a business-oriented Bishop, Stake Pres, Mission Pres or other leader who generally treated volunteers like employees.

I also once sat in a ward council where a sister's 'poor efforts' in her calling were being discussed. Everyone was piling in with further criticism until I could bite my tongue no longer. I asked who in the room really knew this person's schedule and how demanding their life was? (cue blank stares) and I suggested that maybe she was doing as much as she could manage. I also emphasised that we should be thankful for anything a volunteer did, no matter how little.

What personal stories can you relate?

behind her back in a church which gives very little and expects way too much.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/03/2014 10:42AM by Cheryl.

My perspective comes from the viewpoint of a person who became involved in the church because of friends. My church activity was always on my terms, even when I married in the temple. I think this was because I became a very independent person because of how I grew up, so the church never was the "be-all" in my eyes. I thought before I obeyed or didn't obey.....and I wasn't afraid of not obeying. I think there had been too many years in my past of making my own decisions from the age of 6 years old.

That said, when I saw friends in the cult and church acquaintances put the church ahead of their own real needs and the needs of their family, I felt they were way off base. If demands and callings came, they jumped and those demands became what they must do.

I also was lucky in that my returned mishie husband was questioning much about the church, and he always put our family first and foremost. He was amazing this way.

I know what you mean about the being good enough to do work for TSCC and being chided if my free work was not up to their specs. Looking back, I can't believe I put up with this stuff for one minute, much less years. Knowing what I know now, I think every member should go on strike and say hell, no, do it your own damn self. (Ideally on their way out the door, of course.)

Yup! We can never do anything either because of no time....TBM husband too busy " serving" others...and paying their way, too. I am sick, sick, sick of it. I am dead last in this life with him. I can see where "Ordain Women" came to be. Some of us are just not important in our priesthood holder's busy life. What about the family you are responsible for here on earth!?

Feelinglight Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yup! We can never do anything either because of no
> time....TBM husband too busy " serving"
> others...and paying their way, too. I am sick,
> sick, sick of it. I am dead last in this life with
> him. I can see where "Ordain Women" came to be.
> Some of us are just not important in our
> priesthood holder's busy life. What about the
> family you are responsible for here on earth!?


Love this.

I was in a clerk position, and one day I needed some info quickly. I called the Stake Clerk first, but he was out of town, on vacation. So, I called Salt Lake headquarters and got my answer. I thought that was the last of it.

Well, Stake Clerk shows up at our building the next Sunday, angrily chastising me because "I went around him." I told him I needed the info quickly, I tried him first, then called SLC. He didn't care, and told me, "Don't do it again."

I think he expected obedience, but I replied, "No, I'll do whatever I need to do to get the job done. If you don't like it, you can fire me." He just stared at me as I walked away. As far as I know, that was the last of it.

What are they gonna do.

"What are they gonna do?"

Yeah, that's wht they say the calling is straight from the Lord and that you're letting down the Lord if you don't give it 200%. Because other than sense of duty or guilt there's nothing they can do. They're powerless if you don't fear the eternal consequences.

jpt Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was in a clerk position, and one day I needed
> some info quickly. I called the Stake Clerk
> first, but he was out of town, on vacation. So, I
> called Salt Lake headquarters and got my answer.
> I thought that was the last of it.
>
> Well, Stake Clerk shows up at our building the
> next Sunday, angrily chastising me because "I went
> around him." I told him I needed the info
> quickly, I tried him first, then called SLC. He
> didn't care, and told me, "Don't do it again."
>
> I think he expected obedience, but I replied, "No,
> I'll do whatever I need to do to get the job done.
> If you don't like it, you can fire me." He just
> stared at me as I walked away. As far as I know,
> that was the last of it.
>
> What are they gonna do.

Love this more.

When I was TBM and in the primary presidency, I would joke with the bishop's counselor that I was probably going to be fired for not doing a good enough job. He'd say, "Nah, we keep you till you do, then we put you somewhere else."

In the real world, if an employer used the same kind of logic, the business would fail.

It breaks the backs of many of those that attempt to accommodate them.

The way the church does things: When you raise your hand to "support" so-and-so in a calling, as during a Ward conference, you have just agreed to do what that person asks you to do (to support him/her).

Why? Because if anyone does not raise their hand, they are called on the carpet. So everyone is FORCED which is not the same as willingly agreeing to do whatever that person asks.

What you're saying is the same as claiming temple goers may walk out before they know what they will be promising.

Full prior disclosure and freedom is necessary for any kind of willing commitment.

I was in a stake confurnz some years back and the SP was giving letter grades to various ward and stake officers. He gave our EQP a C- and said he was below average. That would have gotten a big "F-YOU" had he been speaking to me.

I've been the volunteer coffee pot cleaner at my Christian church for the past several years and have done my best to avoid contact with a woman (Linda) who thinks all things related to the kitchen, and the building in general, are under her sole control and jurisdiction. I privately refer to her as The Kitchen Nazi.

Anyway, a couple of months ago the church bought a new coffee pot and Linda made a point of telling me that the instructions said to clean it out with soapy water - but she immediately followed that up with saying that she found that unnecessary and I was to only use water to rinse it. I chose to be a scoff-law and washed the new coffee pot the same way as I had the previous one.

Several weeks ago, she flat-out told me that I was to discontinue washing the pot out with soapy water (she caught me in the very act - oh the shame). I calmly stated that this is how "I" clean the coffee pot. She repeated her instructions in no uncertain terms. She never mentioned there having ever been complaints about a soapy aftertaste - which would be hard to detect given that they use the horrible Costco brand of coffee (Kirkland).

I left the kitchen thinking, "As per Linda's instructions, I will *never again* wash the coffee pot out with soap." I then left a note for the church secretary letting her know I would no longer be cleaning the coffee pot and if they needed an expert coffee pot cleaner to ask Linda to take over.

Exactly, if the quality of my FREE help is not meeting your exacting standards, I just won't do it any more. Problem solved.

As a young mother of four (all under the age of six), I was called by the SP to be the Regional Public Relations Director. The "job", because that's what it was, required that I attend weekly regional meetings that were run like Multi-Level Marketing pep rallys. Each week the stake PRDs came away with a litany of assignments for the week which included monitoring local media - newspapers, magazines, radio, tv - report any negative press for TSCC, submitt rebuttal articles, and attend church PR targeted public events such as fairs and townhall meetings. Needless to say, the time commitment was horrendous!

After two months, I met with the SP to ask to be released because of the time commitment (my shelf was also cracking at the time although I didn't let on about that). The SP then went on to threaten my eternal salvation for refusing to commit to this calling. He asked if I understood that he would meet me at the judgment seat of Christ and condemn me for not accepting this calling. Well, I go on the offense when anyone tries to control me through intimidation. I leaned over the desk, looked him straight in the eye, and with barely contained anger, I said, "Fine by me, I'll be looking for you." and then I walked out.



Edited 6 time(s). Last edit at 07/07/2014 04:29PM by braindead.

Oh, you were so, so polite. I would have been tempted to give him the finger. ;)

@Crathes
Wow! Hard to believe that any organization would give out letter grades to volunteers. But that's the point of this whole thread, the Cult treats them as employees.

@braindead
What an ego on the SP, that he was going to get to determine people's salvation! Of course you're "only" a female without the priesthood in his eyes, but you should have told him that if you go first, you be waiting to condemn him for being so un-Christlike.

I belong to a website like that. Only we grade our nation's congressmen, senators and the President!!

congressmen, senators and the President get paid.
They are not volunteers.

That the church has no power over you unless you give it to them. Curse you all ;-{