And he posted a photo to Facebook. All the men were wearing the white shirt and tie uniform. They can't even break out for a social event on Saturday, in a non-church setting. It was creepy! I am so glad that I wasn't there.

Since it was a wedding reception I actually don't find it all that weird. I mean if it was a casual potluck kind of reception then sure, but if it's a "dressy" wedding most guest dress accordingly.

I disagree in thinking it is the way it should be. IT takes you guys to change that at a non church wedding. Wear what is comfortable and yet appropriate and respectful..... always white shirts show they are afraid to be themselves.

Even a dressy wedding allows for non-white shirts. Only a "white tie" wedding requires a white shirt. That means wearing "tails" not just a tux. With a tux you don't need a white shirt.

Also, "white tie" requires the women to wear gowns.

As a never mo, when I recently attended a mormon wedding, I found it strange that all the men had on black suit and tie, white shirt. To me, that would be appropriate for a funeral. My teenage son had a green shirt, gray tie, and tan sport coat. He so out styled all of 'em! And got a few tongue's a waggin I'm sure.

nonmolurker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> As a never mo, when I recently attended a mormon
> wedding, I found it strange that all the men had
> on black suit and tie, white shirt. To me, that
> would be appropriate for a funeral.

Really, is there a difference in this case?

Many of the never-mo guys I know also only have white dress shirts. ::shrug:: I guess I just don't see it as an issue.

It is their birthday suit. A square can't be a circle, even on occasion.

We are dealing with established Mormon cultural religious traditions. The dress is dictated by the appropriator norm in attire. (Suits and white shirts and conservative ties is common attire in a lot of businesses also.)

Go to a different event, different church, or no church, and you'll see a different set of attire.

As a woman, I was always taught to know what was appropriate attire for any event, starting from when I was a little girl -- I was not LDS at that time.
The norms for dress are established by the customs of the day.

I see attire on people today that would be totally unacceptable in my younger years.

I'm a proponent of dressing appropriately for whatever event one is attending. Every man had a nice suit and white shirt and a die for events that required it when I was growing up. It was appropriate dress of the times. In that case, it had nothing to do with cultural religious appropriate attire, either.

Regardless of the dress codes of your youth, the particular situation alluded to by the OP WAS a product of religious dictates. That is, a religion that punishes those that step out of line. Conformity is bought through fear. Every man dressed exactly the same, in America!, reflects the effect of authoritarianism. As others have pointed out, good taste and decorum does not require every man to look exactly the same. They're afraid of not looking the same. Standing out is anathema, and that's not a product of virtue or courage.

Did he bring a basketball ?

I really think that Mormon events are NOT about having a good time. I finally stopped going to Mormon wedding receptions, unless I'm very close to the family. I have had many Mormon friends have their children get married in the temple, and the reception is all about cramming in as many people (gifts) as possible, for the least amount of money. I think the gym is just fine, because when you're waiting in a long reception line to congratulate the bride and groom, you can visit with other people, coming and going, and someone can bring you a drink of water.

I love receptions at the parents' house--but not Mormon receptions at houses. Often, the waiting line extends onto the sidewalk, and down the street. They invite everyone in both wards, and if one of the dads has a stake position, everyone in the stake is invited. I have waited in lines from 1 1/2 to 2 hours--just standing there. At one reception, we stood waiting in the mud, and it ruined our shoes. One country reception had a map, for all the guests to park at the ward house, and a trolley to shuttle the guests to the wedding. The trolley broke down, and there were old ladies stumbling around on the gravel in the dark. One reception was in Provo, and the father of the groom is a GA-wannabe, and a big talker. I waited in that line for 2 hours, and finally someone came out and announced that the line was going to stop, so the bride and groom can enjoy some musical performances, but to just be patient--it was only going to be another 45 minutes. We were out in the street, and it was getting cold. I had to use the bathroom, so I politely squeezed past everyone, and as I went up the steps into the house, people in line started boo-ing me! Provo Mormons! I turned around, and said, "I have to use the ladies' room."

I wish, all those years, that I could have worn a baggy man's suit with a jacket, and comfortable flat shoes, for standing in all those lines. I can't blame people for not being enthusiastic about Mormon weddings.

Just mail a wedding gift and a card, and figure you've bought yourself out of several hours of misery. Go out for ice cream, instead.

This is why I'm not a fan of reception lines. I don't think that it is very nice to ask a guest to wait that long.

I agree, and that line to me seems to be a Mormon thing as I don't usually see it at non-Mormon wedding receptions. Non-Mormon receptions also tend to take place immediately following the ceremony, and guests tend to be invited to both. At non-Mormon receptions, the couple goes to each table to chat with the guests as there's usually a lunch or dinner, or enough appetizers to be a small meal.

Mormon wedding receptions are more about the gifts than spending time with family and friends, as they tend to invite both wards to the reception, using the directories as their guest list. They also tend to have more than one reception especially if the families don't live in the same state.

The sea of white shirts looks very off-putting to my nevermo eyes. I don't think the church considers just how regimented it looks to the outsiders it so eagerly wishes to recruit. Women of the church would rebel if they were told that they could only wear one color of dress to services.

I've never been to a nonmo wedding reception where ALL the men wear the same thing.

When I got married, the white sport coat was all the rage. I still think they looked sharp in their nicely starched white shirts (yes, we starched and ironed them!) for the reception. If you are on Facebook, you can see the photo in my photos.

Mormonism has it's own specific culture and traditions. They dress according to what is considered appropriate for their religious events.

A man's white shirt is still considered professional attire, especially with a suit. I've seen it on police detectives, bankers, investment managers, upper management in other professions. Often, I noticed, when they didn't have their suit jacket on that they are very expensive white shirts.

I would expect to see the participants in a formal type setting in the LDS Church wearing a suit, white shirt and conservative tie. It's traditional.

The bride an groom make the decisions about what they are going to wear for their reception. I've seen a large variety of outfits from very casual, on the beach, to very formal.

I can't imagine why anyone would care what a bride and groom chose for their attire. It's their wedding. It's often very traditional.

I'm still a fan of white shirts on men.:-)

On the other hand, living in northern Davis County, I frequently see people in jeans. To a nice wedding reception? Can't you at least put on some slacks?

My daughters have told me that when they get married, they would like small receptions, with sit down dinner and only family and closest friends. None of this "invite the whole ward" stuff.