...ever take just a moment of their time to ask you why you left Moronism???

For me and all of my so-called "close church friends" that i had accumulated from my childhood to a little over a quarter-century of playing the Mormon game i can honestly say that nary a 1 ever asked.

Not even my own siblings ever asked...even to this day...what's up with that???

Quite disheartening occasionally to realize that all of us ExMo's are simply viewed as "collateral damage" in the overall Moron-mindset scheme of things and that our entire perceived self-worth to other Morgbots simply revolved around continuing to play by the self-inflicted rules of the Morg game huh?

Well after all is said and dunn...they can all take their balls and go home!

Or so it seems to me...

Yes, my bff is still TBM and her husband and my husband are BFFs (and also both TBM) My friend did indeed ask me why I had chosen to leave. I told her I had a whole folder of information and thoughts I had written down as to why I no longer believed if she was interested in reading it. She said she was. Her husband gave the folder back to my husband unopened and unread and said thye could not read it, there was nothing "faith promoting" in there. Well, duh!! It was reasons I left, not reasons my faith was strong!!!

We have continued to be best friends by agreeing NOT to discuss religion when we are together.

because faith is a belief in things that are TRUE!

PinkPoodle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Her husband gave the folder back to
> my husband unopened and unread and said thye could
> not read it, there was nothing "faith promoting"
> in there. Well, duh!! It was reasons I left, not
> reasons my faith was strong!!!

How interesting, for how could they possibly know there was nothing "faith promoting" in there if they returned it UNOPENED and UNREAD eh?

The wife asked to see it, but the husband returned it unopened. I'm sure he "assumed" it was all anti and I am also assuming she never got to read any of it!

PinkPoodle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The wife asked to see it, but the husband returned
> it unopened. I'm sure he "assumed" it was all anti
> and I am also assuming she never got to read any
> of it!


Thanks.

I don't recall any asking me. I think most of them probably think it would be bad form to ask and might make everyone uncomfortable.

I've had friends ask me to come back to church.

... my wife, of course, already knew and doesn't count. In so many encounters with the false friends I once associated with I've never been asked to state the reason why I left -- indeed, they mostly just tried to avoid me altogether -- and that was painful.

She is also my cousin. Her mom never asked. My younger cousin asked a few questions before he became a missionary.

I am hurt by it and have thought often of bringing it up with her.

I also wonder why they don't ask. Are their testimonies so fragile that they have to protect them that closely?

19 years in the same Stake.

No one ever asked. Not even one. And yeah, it hurt.

They've already figured out that you left because you were offended.

LOL!

Yes, it's hurtful, but it's not possible to make true friends when you are in a true cult. They are not compatible to one another. They must defend the host parasite or they will die. Something like that.

and not one single person asked me why I left or told me that other people were spreading rumors about me being offended or gave me a chance to defend myself. These were people I worked closely with in the Primary presidency or in Scouts - people we went on vacation with and who's children played at each other's houses. It was like I disappeared and the nicest thing I could say is that a couple of people pretended like they didn't notice I wasn't at church and still talked to me the same. Which is NOT the same thing as caring enough to ask me what was going on. But it's significantly better than people who looked at me with accusing eyes, because they thought I was leading my kids astray or who talked down to me like I was a naughty child who needed a reprimand. But only a couple of the trashiest people in the ward talked down to me, ironically enough. For the vast majority, I simply ceased to exist.

Except for one person who thought that he could address my concerns, but that quickly turned into attacks and I had to cut off that exchange.

A couple of the sisters asked my wife- she told them about Mountain Meadows Massacre and how it is shown that Bishops and Stake Presidents cut the throats of little kids, and they never asked her again.

I think there are two reasons nobody asked us:
First- it is because I had months worth of meetings with my Bishop as I tried to work through my crumbling testimony, and you can be sure that he warned people not to approach me.

Second- it is for the same reason that these so-called friends at church also never bothered to ask me how I was doing when our family was experiencing the toughest trials of our lives...
They simply don't give a sh--

If I do visit with any Mormons, more often than not the church does not come up. For that I am grateful.

I know a TBM who probably does know its all a fraud but stays in for children and grandchildren. It's their main social life too.

Not a one asked.

I always find it weird to when I get love bombed, fellowshipped, etc, that if they have no idea why I left how can they possibly know how to bring me back?

The thing is they dont want to know and then make the typical TBM assumptions: you were offended, you're to lazy to live by the strict standards of the church and want to sin, or you're an intellectual, feminist, or gay and thus are in the clutches of Satan.

I wish at least one "friend" had cared enough to ask. I was very hurt at how easily I was dismissed by people I thought were truly my friends.

Good riddance. I have real friends now :)

What do they "teach" you to do in the Mormon meetings? Do they say to ignore, shun any person who leaves the church? If they say that - there is your reason. If they don't, then they are surely not good friends or even "family"....they belong to an organization that means more to them than an individual they supposedly cared for. And their "family ties" are conditional. It is their loss and their immaturity. They are people who are very "afraid" of those different than themselves. Why?

I can't speak for anyone else, but I was never tauught to care why someone left but rather to just encourage them to pray and read scriptures, then they will come back if they truely wanted to. Or maybe they just need more to do in the church, give them a calling, that'll bring them back. People who left and never came back were gone because the were sinning, wanted to sin, or were full of pride.

In all the PEC/Ward Council meetings I've sat through, the idea that someone left because of problems with church history or doctrine was never really brought up. All that would be mentioned in that case was that someone got "anti-ed" followed by head shaking from the leaders.

But, she TOLD me why I left: because I was offended.

I don't have any TBM friends. More like friendly acquaintances. My real friends are all exmo or nevermos.

I like it like that.

I never had anyone ask me why I left, but nearly 8 years later I had someone ask my why I wouldnt come back. I told her that I way happy with my life and I didnt want it to change. Mainly that I didnt want my husband (non-mormon) to change. She tried convincing me several times that he would change for the better. She just didnt seem to comprehend how I could be happy without the church.

They rarely ask, because they prefer to imagine why you left. Some combination of being offended by their offensive behavior, and doing all the sexual things they feel guilty about imagining. You become a repository for their guilt, they project it onto you, and they prefer it that way.

i call it
"don't ask, don't tell" not great, but it works most of the time.

Never had anyone ask,even my best friend and we still spend time together,its the elephant in the room,I suppose one reason could be for some of them is they are scared as they are asked in TR interviews if they associate with anyone who is an apostate etc;this went through my mind when I was out to dinner with BF last week and the SP and his family were in the same restaurant,wonder if he will say anything to her next time she sees him or has her interview.
As for all the others of 32 years standing not one has asked,fear and trembling methinks