To make a long story short, I've been inactive for many years now. I recently started working as a companion/caregiver at a job where one of my clients is LDS, and occasionally as part of my job, I have to go with her to church. May of managed to slip by if we wouldn't have been assigned to the same ward.

My roommate, who is the opposite sex inactive only to please their parents, otherwise they would resign and I hit a tough spot and the church heard about it and helped us out. It was very nice and I started going again. They knew about the roommate, about the fact we had things in our home that were against the word of wisdom, but at least at first, it was nice. Then I started getting the subtle nudging of "So tell us about your roommate" and "Can we bring over Stake officials to meet you and your roommate" and worst of all, them bringing Stake officials over after I had already stated no because I would not be home to visit my roommate.

The roommate and I don't have a relationship past friends, and yet I feel like they are assuming and checking up on us, and to make it worse, trying to use me into pressuring them to becoming active again.

They can't make you be active again. You'd have to consciously hand that power over to them. Why would you?

It gets a bit tricky because of my job. I want to be very supportive to my client, and don't mind taking them to services and events most of the time, but some people are pushing for a lot more that me supporting the persons's choice.

Say the above as often and as assertively as necessary. That's being honest and is not in the least bit rude.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2014 07:04AM by Cheryl.

Just be honest with them. Say, "Look, I'm here to support my Client. You're being pushy."

My sister was only 14 when she told a Sister Missionary that she was being pushy. I think my sister might have been baptized if that sister hadn't pushed. Now I'm glad she did that. I'm glad my sister backed off of the idea of being baptized.

Have a talk with your roommate about how you want to handle the church visitors. You will want to be assertive with the people in your ward. Since your main purpose there is to support your client, tell them that. If your roommate does not want any visitors, tell them that as well. Just because a church helps you out doesn't mean that you owe the members anything beyond a sincere "thank you." The ward has no right to stick their collective noses into your business.

Remember, if you get church visitors, you need not respond to them. If you choose to respond to them, you need not open the door. If you open the door, you need not admit them to your home.

Stand up to them and don't let them intimidate you.

You pay for and are in charge of who enters your private residence. Tell them to stay away and mean it.

No one can enter your door unless you allow it. No one can make you be a Mormon unless you willingly want that to happen.