Posted by:
tmtinfw
(
)
Date: July 22, 2014 10:06AM
My mom died on Sunday. The visitation is Thursday and the Funeral is Friday at the church. I don't attend the ward and live in a nearby city, but my mom was much loved by the members. She was very much TBM. As would be expected the ward has been very supportive.
As the oldest male family member attending, I'm thrust into that uncomfortable role of "pious" priesthood holder, if you know what I mean. It's been years since I've worn my garments. I'm a complete apostate. Haha. I don't even believe in a God anymore.
Can I justify being a complete and total hypocrite by giving the family prayer before the funeral? I'm laden down with all the baggage of a lifelong member, and my mom's death has stirred it all up. I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not. I'm not going to wear my garments for the sake of appearance. No white shirt, though. Haha. I'm a classic example of arrested emotional development--as I reread what I've written it sounds like I'm a teenager....I'm in my 50s...
I feel as though it would be a personal tribute to my mom, who would appreciate the gesture.
Can I do this?? I need some words of support. If it's criticism please make it gentle. I'm tender at the moment.