I was just wondering if Tommy Monson has bodily functions like the rest of us? Or is the Lord's Profit so speshul that he is in such a translated state that he doesn't have gross things like pee and poo and snot et al.

But seriously, if morgbot would stop and realize that the brethren sit on toilets and scratch their balls and sneeze and do all the rest of these kinds of things that the rest of us mortals do, they'd realize that the Brethren are just mortal men and not prophets or anything silly like that.

Stool softeners help.

> I was just wondering if Tommy Monson has bodily functions like the rest of us?

I doubt it. Watch him online; he is clearly full of shit.

GoingGoingNotGoneYet Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> > I was just wondering if Tommy Monson has bodily
> functions like the rest of us?
>
> I doubt it. Watch him online; he is clearly full
> of @#$%&.

Just spat my breakfast.

How dare you mock the Prophet! He is so holy, that his kidney stones could be used to translate the Book of Mormon.

Little brown bears poop.

Tommy Monson is Catholic.

Something like that.

Of course he goes to the bathroom.

It is the only place he can smoke.

Yes, he's always making new material for conference talks.

Depends...

Poise ain't my poison!

But do his balls hang low enough to hit the toilet water?

Two GAs were sitting in adjacent rest room stalls.Man, that water's cold, said one. The other one said, Yeah, and deep too.








Apologies to Richard Pryor.

Two GAs were sitting next to each other in the upper room of the Salt Lake Temple in their wheelchairs, listening to Dallin Oaks drone on and on like he always does, while they took a shit.

One says, "that's one big bag of shit."

The other says, "yep! My colostomy bags is full, too."

Ba-dum bump!

Thank you ladies and germs, I'm here all week!

Ha ha...GA jokes are great.


Two GAs walk into a bear. You didn't think they were going to walk into a bar, did you?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/23/2014 06:35PM by donbagley.

Yes, but not the way you or I do.

Mormons are very good at pulling crap out of their ass and putting it on paper and calling it "the gospel". Deseret Book has a very long list of Books, AKA BMs, by TSM.

http://www.poopourri.com/

If only life were this simple!!! :D!

Seriously if you look at the link you'll probably spit onto your keyboard!

It's a product you spray in the toilet before you do your business, and when your stuff hits the water, a potpouri of delightful scent comes out! This way a person doesn't stink up the bathroom according to their advertisment.

Have a good laugh!

Honest to goodness, it really works! Well, maybe not as well as advertised, but still worthy. I bought some for Christmas gifts for my boss and my parents who have everything they need. My boss laughed pretty hard and asked to re-gift it as a white elephant gift for a Christmas party game - where people could keep their gift or snatch someone else's. It was the most snatched gift ;)

comes out in the shape of Boyd K. Packer's face. Now that's some ugly sh*t.

Watch all of them closely on TV during conference. Sometimes you can tell the moment that they soil their Depends(tm).

rationalist01 Wrote:
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> Watch all of them closely on TV during conference.
> Sometimes you can tell the moment that they soil
> their Depends(tm).

We need video of this!!

He sh!ts f*cking marbles.

What are "f*cking marbles"? Are you saying he's into anal beads?

Not intentionally.

He always looks constipated to me.