When I was the clerk (for many years) I often got to listen to a bishop's musings. A bishop once told me how the Church improves people lives immediately.

What the bishop said is true - but only to an extent. Converts to the LDS Church tend to come from disorderly lives seeking structure. The Church can help them with this. An improvement can result.

People with their lives "together" as functional within society rarely join the LDS Church. When they do their improvement is not as striking.

But after the initial spike, improvement levels off. I have wondered why this is? I believe the approval structure within the Church leads to a plateau.

An adult Mormon either "has a current temple recommend" or "is endowed without a current recommend" or is "unendowed." If a Mormon does not hold a recommend, there is a strong impetus to receive one. However, when a Mormon has their temple recommend, their incentive to study and improve themselves in any area diminishes greatly.

My wife exhibited this throughout our marriage. She had no desire to develop talents or "grow spiritually." Her only desire was to have a temple recommend.

Pity that the skills (or qualities of character?) required to have a temple recommend do not necessarily translate into preparation for the real world.

Bishops have told me that tithing helps people learn to budget. However, the Church itself provides no budgeting advice. For all the bishop knows, members could never be using any budgeting at all. If the tithing comes in, that is all that matters.

The reason Mormons appear arrested in their development is that their primary motivation ends once their Church obligations are satisfied. Mormons learn to do the minimum to "get by:" i.e., maintain that temple recommend.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2014 03:38PM by idleswell.

Well stated. I have been through everything you described. And you put it into words very well.

I had the advantage of a calling I could do in my sleep. Plus, I was essentially irreplacable because few of the other elders in the ward could read or do basic arithmetic to become a clerk.

So I could observe the Church in "action." Eventually, I realized that the Church wasn't "working." Members do not learn life-skills through the Church. Callings are mostly useless and without accountability. Their employment program does not bring members closer to employment. No education is offered. Homemaking skills in Relief Society are no longer relevant.

Experience in a Mormon Church does not produce "personal growth."

How many people in the real world are interested in a temple recommend or your past callings?

In the real world adults learn to budget, to plan their schedules, choose jobs and activities, and get along with other people. They do all of this without consulting a father figure for regular guidance.

People who do need help normally ask their friends, family, or they seek out professionals in whatever field fits their needs.

The help Mormons get at church is generic. It is not specific to an individual. "Pray, pay, obey." "Read scripture daily." "Fast." "Get a blessing." "Talk to the bishop."

The above might help some people. Typically it does not.

Having an ideal set of goals and plans only works for people who happen to fit someone's else's idea.

Any adult needs to strive to find out who they are and what they want in life. Accepting what someone thinks they should want is an unhealthy frustrating way to live.

[On reflection, this post made me quite identifiable so I've decided to redact it. Nothing to see here! Sorry.]



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2014 03:54PM by safetynotguaranteed.

We moved across the country when we were TBM. We didn't request our records because we hadn't bought a house yet, and weren't sure where we were going to end up.

We just showed up to our new ward one Sunday. The bishop was very upset with us for not telling him we were going to be in the ward. I guess I wasn't a good TBM, because my first thought was what we were doing was none of his business.

When we left that ward, we did the same thing. We didn't feel a need to announce our departure and arrivals. We never depended on people in the ward for anything, including friendship. We're very private and independent types. Hated it when people in the ward tried to get into our business.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2014 03:54PM by madalice.

I've written about this phenomenon many times before on here; I've had grown-a$$ Mormons asking me if I've seen the latest Disney film.

WTF?

Dude... you're FIFTY and watching Disney films on the weekends with your 15-year-old daughter,

Like seriously?

If these conversations didn't occur at work, I'd tell him that I watched porn last night, like 99% of people this side of 30 years of age -- including your missionary son.

It's hard to act adult-like if you're watching Disney and G-Rated movies.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2014 06:58PM by newcomer.

LOL when I saw this thread title, I thought it was about some morons who were arrested in their housing development.

Guess my own development could use some fine tuning...

Could it get any more SHALLOW? I kiddie pool in Arizona after a week of evaporation is deeper.

After discussions with mormons drop from "we are the only true church" to "well, it's a good place to raise a family," then the Arrested Development card gets played. They are frequently so arrested they have no idea how arrested they are.