Hi I'm 17 years old and currently living in the Mormon-ist of states, UTAH! I don't believe in anything Mormon, and I'm always judged at school for wearing shorts or tank tops. Which I actually am really conservative with. Mormons are so judgemental and I really am just going to get out of this whole thing once I go to college. Is there any way I can deal with me being the only non-mormon in my school for the rest of the year? I'm tired of being called a slut and talked badly about every day. Please help.

Sorry you are going through that. If it is any consolation my mormon ex-gf used to call girls sluts and whores and give talks on chastity and virtue.........then we would have sex after church

if you are in a big enough town/city, I'd look for non-LDS activities and make your friends there. Mormon kids don't tend to help out a charities, for example, or join Girl Scouts (you are probably a bit old for that) or join environmental movements or meditation groups... or a number of other things. Maybe you could even change schools but I'd avoid charter schools. I hear that in Utah they are full of competitive type Mormons. They are the worst. Or maybe you could finish high school on-line and make friends in other places.

The important thing to remember is none of this is a reflection on YOU. It's all about THEM and how living the lifestyle of Mormonism does not very often produce people of character and kindness. Instead, they make ordinarily nice kids into fakes, pretending to be one thing to impress their parents while being pretty terrible in private. It's about using Mormonism as a reason to be arrogant, judgmental and nasty rather than following the Savior. Where your values probably come from inside you, the Mormon kids have their values imposed upon them. They are literally manipulated by their families to be who they are told to be - to be "worthy". Rather than being loved for themselves. That's why they are trying to bully you into "line" - because that is how they were treated. You will make it, you will survive and go on to do great things with your life. And hopefully one of those things will be to tell the truth about what Mormons really are to those who believe the image.

You've been targeted as being "outside" the social norm. Unfortunately humans have been doing this to other humans for thousands of years. Often others will treat you as less than human, or view you as beneath them, which makes it easier for them to target you. This never really stops as you get older, it just gets more complex.

It is especially noticeable in high school because adolescents tend to exaggerate their feelings and beliefs. Also, teenagers tend to put a very high value on the social interactions of others. I am not trying to suggest you are like that, but that probably some of the people talking bad about you are. They feel better about themselves when they tear down other people, probably due to a low self-esteem on their part. In my opinion, Mormonism makes it even worse.

Just remember that high school is not real life. It does get better, and it is totally worth fighting to get there. Stay true to who you are, there is no need to change.

More objective information on what it is like to be a teenager:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescence

I wish my city even offered non LDS activities. Haha we are so pent up with church here. I'm starting to think they are almost cult-ish. Anyhow, I've been trying to deal with getting through school and not listening to anyone. I do have some friends who accept me for not going to church but they still attend even though they are still living off their parents testimonies.

I know I'm not a bad person, I'm just making a decision for myself, that everyone else hasn't really realized and probably never will.

Check out this link:

http://www.csj.org/infoserv_cult101/checklis.htm

You may recognize some of these - I was LDS for 30 years. I promise you that almost all these characteristics describe Mormonism perfectly. You are a one very smart 17 year old, to figure out what a lot of adults can't see for the life of them.

You're very smart. I can tell you have a good grip on how the mormon culture is, and what it's all about, and that you are bright enough to understand what it is and what it does. I wish my eyes had been opened at your age. It would've saved me a lot of hurt.

As for the whole judgment thing, I know it's hard living in Utah, you are definitely a minority, but as people have said before in this thread, high school life is a bunch of dramatic bollocks. College life is soooo much better, trust me. I highly recommend you attend school outside of Utah for the life experience, but even if you do stay in Utah for college, it is a ton different from high school. Of course, there will always be mormons, but there are so many people with different beliefs, ways of looking at life, and won't judge you because you don't believe in mormonism. Not to mention, the parties can be bad ass ;)

Just hang in there. Know that you are intelligent enough to know that you can make your own rational decisions on your own, and you should take pride in that, who cares what some judgmental religion thinks of you?

Namaste

:)

Unfortunately, you're going to have to endure to the end of High School.
Glad you are going out of state for school. You'll most likely make a lot of really good friends there, and have a great time being yourself.
Until then, keep doing what you're doing, and come here to vent when you need it. It sounds like you know what makes you happy, but just need a place to get things off your "slutty" chest ;) until you can get out of Utah.

However, I hope you will be willing to share stories about not being TBM in Utah High School. I was very TBM in High School and lived in Utah. I bet nothing has changed

Leaving/resigning from the Morg (chronically dishonest LDS Church): http://home.teleport.com/~packham/leaving.htm

Until then, you're not obliged to participate in cultic Mormonism. If any other Mormon authority figure (your parents?) try to make you attend, tell them, no, you won't be - and you're exercising your constitutional right to worship as you think best (you'll be 'worshiping' freedom from the LDS cult in your mind and heart!). They won't like it and may try the old, boring LDS tactic of trying to make you feel guilty about not attending, but don't give in. Be firm/strong. It's YOUR life, not theirs.

Here's info. about how cultic Mo-ism 'programs' people: http://members.shaw.ca/blair_watson/

If you wish, keep us updated!

Good luck!

See if you can find a real nonmormon that you can become friends with. Seriously. Think of how they feel and how they are treated. They get shunned and treated as though they don't even exist. Hang with them a bit. You will see they are nice people who need a friend. Who cares what the Mormons say when you are seen associating with them. Tell them to mind their own business and tell them you enjoy learning about others. You don't discriminate.

Good luck and it is nice to hear you would like to make other friends. My kids were in Utah schools for 4 yrs.- the oldest had to go to 7th grade there in No. Utah and she was totally ignored and treated horribly. Wish a person like you had come along to be her friend. And go someplace out of Utah for college. You will see what real life is all about. And you will have fun.

You've got such an advantage over so many of us here... You're still young. The church hasn't robbed you of your childhood. Soon all this will be over and you will be dealing with completely different issues in your life. You are so smart, like CA girl said, because you have found the truth before you're even a legal adult. It took me 30 years to figure it out! So hang in there. I've got a feeling that you will be just fine.

email me @ davidx44@netzero.com



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/13/2010 01:41PM by get her done.

Definitely go to a College outside of Utah. If it's far away enough, mormonism will never be an issue... just an exotic cult most people don't know anything about. Have fun. In the meantime you WILL survive high school, don't worry. I didn't conform too much with following the "norm" in high school either, although for other reasons, but as I started my freshman year in college, high school already seemed light years away. You'll be fine.

Well, the best thing is don't have sex with with boys right now and definitely don't get pregnant. They've already got you where they want you. Your road could be much harder if you find yourself in need.

1. Don't worry about what people say.

2. Start dressing more like mormon kids when you're around them.

You know you're NOT a slut, but if they're so rude as to call you that, there isn't much you can do about it for now. I'm sure you look better than they do and you'd fit right in anywhere else. The situation isn't fair, but life is often unfair. Sorry about that. : (

Schools always have more than one person who's treated like a reject, who's teased and persecuted for being different. Look for other people who get picked on like you do -- or worse. Hang out with them. By being friends with those who are treated like "outcasts" you may end up finding a group of people who think like you, who care about you, and who can help you to survive the persecution until you're eighteen and out of high school.

They're there, even if you can't see them yet. Look for the creative type who gets criticized for not being more practical or for liking shows/books/media that isn't church-approved; for the other kids who dress against church "standards"; for kids from other religions, or who have funny accents and get made fun of for it; for those who have disabilities and get looked down on for it; and take a second look at the people *you* pick on or look down on or just plain ignore, because if you drop your own biases, you might discover a best friend there.

If you just can't seem to find them, figure out ways to get them to come to you. Start a school club that you have a legal right to start that shakes things up, and will draw members who think like you. Gay-Straight Alliance, maybe. Or something like a "Banned Books Reading Club" that is about reading books that are challenged for not being Mormon enough. An Animal Rights club or Earth/Eco Club. Whatever works for you and will be seen as a little radical in your community. Think about it. They've already marked you as a rabble-rouser -- why not BE one? You might help yourself survive school, and help some other kids out, too, who were suffering in silence right alongside you, only you didn't know it.

Also, I don't know where you are in UT, but there's a great new bookstore in Centerville called Fire Petal Books with a very open-minded owner (she's Mormon, but respects other people's beliefs or disbeliefs), and a selection of YA books that include books about being ridiculed and belittled in high school and overcoming the pain it causes. Check it out if you're nearby:

http://www.firepetalbooks.com/

i'm sorry you're getting bullied by your peers. i'm a never-mo but i was bullied horribly in school. hold on and visit this board often. you know who you are and no one can ever take that away from you. i don't know if it's me being in a mood for music (or having enjoyed a beer) but have a listen to the ramus 'in my life' as a personal anthem (no foul language!).

if you're looking at any california universities, CSU Fresno is relatively inexpensive for tuition and it doesn't take long to gain CA residency so you'd only be paying one year out of state tuition. you need a CA driver's license or ID and a bank account in CA. i think you might have to pay income taxes as well (sorry.. it's been 10 years since i thought about this!) and an easy campus job will fulfill that need.

but you're strong you can make it through.. just do a grand jete across the stage at graduation and go 'i'm FREE!!!!!!!' don't forget to write your experiences down so when you're famous someday you can write about your craptastic experience!