Posted by:
SLC guy
(
)
Date: August 04, 2014 07:03PM
I spent nearly 40 years in the LDS faith. I served in different positions including as a Bishop. I was married in the temple, graduated from BYU, completed graduate work at a major school on the east coast and had a successful career. Yet, in the back of mind I knew it was a fraud. To make a long story short, one day (years later) I broke down and it fell apart. I became self absorbed (or it was just reflection of my own narcissistic personality). I was angry. I literally wanted to kill someone. I began to drink. I did drugs. I slept with over 30 women in a two year period. Suicide was a daily thought. I was f..ked up big time.
Fast forward 10 years. I still don't believe in the LDS faith but the days of drinking, drugs and sex are over. I am still married. Nobody knows what I did. My wife has no idea. The shame, the doubt, the anger, it's still there.
The reason for posting this story is simple. If you are confused, angry, emotional, you have every right to feel this way. However, I would go slow. Do not become so compulsive that you have no control. For most, narcissistic traits are not part of people's makeup. My story is not one of pity. My mistakes are mine. Mormonism is not responsible for my problems. My advice however will fall on cold shoulders. If you are like me in any way, caution is the only advice I can give. Don't allow Mormonism (or use it as an excuse) to screw up your life. Although I don't think what I did is common, it could cost you everything including your integrity and even your own life.