Yeah i know "called by God thing is bogus..."

So let's just say you know someone who doesn't believe but doesn't want to always be a peon at the local level. For whatever reason he can't leave the church. Maybe be can effect a little change internally at the ĺocal level.

What would he have to do to inspire the leadership into giving him power short of a personal bribe or bj? Let's say as a Bishopric member or HC member?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/05/2014 11:16AM by ultra.

You start by having a good job and some money. Go to church, mingle with people, raise your hand in class and quote scriptures, go to temple a lot, do your home teaching, and wear a white shirt and suit. Make sure you have a Mormon haircut and no facial hair. Smile and act asexual. Act caring.

You will be a leader before you know it.

Yes, to all the above. It also helps to be good looking. Dress well and have a spouse that supports you in all your church callings. Use your own home for church activities so the ward doesn't have to use church funds. Drive an expensive and showy car. Look prosperous and enthusiastically happy at all times. Don't get caught criticizing the church or any of the leaders. I'd say the best model for getting promoted at LDS, Inc. is the Steppford Model. Look, act, and speak positive and upbeat at all times. Have that smile literally painted on and make sure your teeth are whiter than white. But don't be annoying. Keep all your conversations shallow and superficial. Talking about anything of real importance could get you into hot water because it might require you to give an opinion of substance. True substance is suspect in Mormonism. Just be light, and happy, and airy.

Follow the rules, be a good little sheep, wear the right clothes, pay your tithing, speak up in class, do your home teaching, go to ward events, and be part of the in crowd. Then you will move your way up in the ranks.

Pay 20-30% tithing to make it look like you're much wealthier than you really are. It will make you look humble as well. It wouldn't hurt to also be tall, attractive, well educated, well spoken, an excellent conversationist, and a world class brown-noser. Be sure to mention your exceptional children, your super-spiritual family home evenings, and your non-LDS charity work when commenting in SS and EQ as well. Don't forget to cry during your monthly five-minutes F&T meeting discourses either.

It really helps if your parents are at the very least, local royalty.

You must also have a spouse who is willing to be a good door mat, and is nazi about moronism.

If you have children, make sure they look and act perfect at all times. Buy the little boys the mormon uniform. Try to get him to sing a solo about going on a mission. Your daughter just needs to wear designer clothes, be shy, compliant, and cute.

Spread a little bit of money around. Maybe buy a couple hams for the ward Christmas party. Make sure EVERYONE knows you did that.

Kiss the bishop and stake presidents butts to the point they can't ignore you.

Don't ever say No to anything. Dedicate every single week-end, evening, holiday, and your vacation time to doing church stuff. Make sure everyone knows how great you are.

There ya go Mr. president. Start herding sheep.

You make good points, but I disagree with: Kiss the bishop and stake presidents butts to the point they can't ignore you.

That's dangerous, since if you do that too much it can annoy them and ruin any chance at getting a big calling. It's good to throw the occasional complement in their direction, or do a favour for them, but if you're too overly nice to them, then it becomes obvious what you're trying to do, and will probably annoy them. It's best to act chilled about it in my opinion. Lots of Bishops and Stake Presidents I've seen choose counsellors who they didn't associate with much beforehand.

Agreed. You don't need to kiss butts, just obey and magnify your obedience...er, I mean 'calling'. If you do as well or better than the others, you'll get promoted. Remember, this is a job and just like any other job, if you work your butt off, they will take advantage of you by making you be the boss and work twice as hard.

I agree with the other posters. Plus you must have a wife who knows her place. If you have small children, she must not work outside the home. If the children are older, she can work if her career is one of the approved careers (healthcare or education). She must also make it clear that she is working to help pay for the children's missions.

Of course the best way to achieve a role in church leadership, is to be born into it.

Take the church's position on every issue, 100% of time time. And, most important, be sure to change your position the instant the church changes its position.

- You have to obey all the rules, you can't be caught sinning.

- You need to be confident and extroverted. If you aren't, then fake it.

- You need to be rich, or at least well off. Again, if you aren't, then fake it.

- Be (or pretend to be) educated. Not just in church matters, but also in business, current affairs, science, etc. If you're knowledgable, a Bishop is more likely to choose you as a counsellor. It's common for Bishops to feel inadequate for the calling, so they will often choose who they see as the wisest people to help them.

- You need to have lots of connections. I can't emphasize how much it helps if you've got "mormon famous" relatives. It pretty much guarantees you big callings. If you don't, you can at least make connections with important mormons where you can, even if it's just your Bishop or Stake President.

- You need to be good in the lessons. Study them beforehand, and think of "good" answers to the questions in advance. Don't go overboard and act like a know it all, but give good in-sights. Just one really good comment a lesson can change your reputation.

- You NEED to be married, and preferably have numerous children. You could probably get on the Bishopric if you don't have children, but I think it'd be difficult to get any higher than that.

- In general, try and act as much like a GA or Apostle as you can. Even try and speak a bit like them. Dress really smart, stand straight and be out-going. People will think you're important if you act the right way, even if you're not, and that can lead to big callings in the future. Always be happy. People joke about how all GAs act similar, but it's true, you have to act like that to get there in the first place.

- Attend as many activities as possible. If you're always there it shows you're reliable and the church is a big part of your life.

- Pretend your life is easy. If you have hardships, people often assume God is punishing you for sinning in some way. Someone who's going through a lot of troubles, whether financial, mental, emotional or whatever, isn't going to get the important callings.

Being a "yes-man," and having leadership skills seems to be two-faced. Wait. It is. So, there you go. Mormon leadership.

Mostly what was mentioned above.

No. 1: Do you Home Teaching 100%
No. 2: Wear the suit - "The last suit you'll ever need"
No. 3: Pay the dues 100% (Tithing)
No. 4: Be an extrovert and learn everyone's name and use it often. Smile and shake hands a lot. Go out of your way to talk to people.
No. 5: Repeat "I felt the spirit SOOOO strong" a lot.
No. 6: Sit up front in classes and volunteer for prayers as much as you can.
No. 7: Always talk about how awesome the Bishopric is and other local leaders.

I guess both of us are from Mormon royalty--whatever that is. We are not from this area. He is from Rexburg and I am from Brigham City.

His dad was a bishop, while being a total dick--looking for his future plural wives in the ward WHILE bishop and into his 80s, but the lds church loved him. He treated his wife like sh*t.

Everyone loves my ex. The woman who was R.S. president when we moved in here told me he is the nicest person she ever met. Her husband was eventually the bishop and my husband was ex. sec. to him. They both adored him.

The bishop asked to see me and he told me my ex would be the next bishop or the one following that. I immediately went inactive as I knew he was cheating and had been for years.

I was not and have never been a "doormat." I refused to go to temple night with the bishopric and my ex went alone. I had worked outside the home, but at the time had a job working at home. I did not participate much including I refused to give prayers and I refused to attend tithing settlement, etc.

He, of course, was never called as he also went inactive when he was released from ex. sec. But I have NO DOUBT he would have been called as a bishop had we not chosen to go inactive.

It really shook up the whole ward when they found out the whole truth. At first, they thought he left the "bitch." Now he lives here again and the people still love him.

Believe me, everyone LOVES him. We love him, too, but we know the REAL him. Truth be told, that is ALL it took for him to get into that position.

Now, my uncle, he became a SP. He was not from Mormon royalty. He was a heathen until age 50 or so. He became a very, very successful businessman from NOTHING. He started as a mechanic. I have no doubt he used the skills he learned in business to move up the ladder in Mormonism. His wife also was NOT a doormat.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/05/2014 12:27PM by cl2.

You quit the Church.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/05/2014 12:43PM by steve benson.

My father became a branch president, later a bishop. He told me he only chose counselors whom he could easily control, who were not very smart either.

Therefore, be sheeple-like.

a taste for ass.

If you want to enter Church leadership, you must be crazy (without "looking crazy").

Above all, first and foremost, you must be (or appear) "successful." Owning your own business where you can absent yourself to work for the Church, is a major plus.

Your family must be (or appeal) typical LDS. Your children must be "going on missions." Your wife must be a SAHM. Hopefully, she knows how to be "faith promoting" when she gossips. When she picks fights with other sisters, she needs to defer to the wives of higher leaders. An enemy of the leader's wife is in serious trouble.

You can't become "side-tracked." If you were raised in the Church, then your Aaronic Priesthood advancements and mission must have happened precisely on schedule. Lie if you must to make it happen. If anyone in your Stake knows about when you were "less active," your aspirations may be toast. Moving may not save you if your rival is determined.

Having connections to leaders at a higher level helps. Relations are best. Blood is thicker than water (baptism). Converts need not apply.

Even the time you spend on "Church work" must not be "wasted" on people who can not help you advance. Home teaching is important, but only when you are visiting leaders. Home teaching "inactives" (even if you actually provide a practical service) is a waste of your time.

Ultra, if you want to be a church leader, then you must:

Not post on church-critical forums. Half the people here know your name, address, DOB, wife's name, SS number, etc. What if your stake president posts here too?

Not ask your own questions for a fictitious friend. Aspiring to higher positions is a grievous sin, usually punished by elevation to higher positions.

Develop an inner fantasy life, including but not limited to a nice selection of happy places. You will need this and more to get you through ten hours of meetings every Sunday for the rest of your life.

It's about money from what I have observed.

Have a good job and be sure to always pay your 10 percent.

That's the way to leadership for mormons.

Edit: Oh and of course have a p****... but never use it *wink *wink



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/05/2014 04:39PM by nonsequiter.

I met an old friend recently at a shopping center parking lot. He told me that he had recently been called as the Elders Quorum president. He joked that he had been going around telling members in the bishopric and stake presidency that he was receiving strong impressions that something significant was coming in his life. Sure enough, planting that little seed was enough.

Blind obedience and $$'s

Ron Burr

The more you are liked the higher up you go. The more you say yes to your leader the closer you get to his position.

If you live outside Utah, talk about going to conference.

In PH meetings toss out phrases like "when I approached the lord in prayer this morning" or "I asked the lord for a missionary experience today"

Recite extensive passages from the BOM from memory.

I basically agree with what others have said, however, there is a critical aspect missing: live in a very low income ward. I have lived in very low income wards and it was very easy to be drafted into two bishoprics and I was considered to be a shoe-in for the next bishop. Other than the bishopric, there were about seven active high priests.Then I moved to a high income ward where there were about 40 active high priests. At least 15 of the HPs had been a bishop, many of them in student wards. The pool is just so much smaller in low income wards.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/05/2014 07:16PM by Starlight Kokaubeam.

Afriend of mine did that and was bishop at age 23.

The last bishop I had in that ward was 27 - I was a 32 year old second counselor and the first counselor was 33.

one must be a total @$$h0le to get into their club.

ALWAYS give moving testimonies and always make it clear "the church is true, JS was a prophet, etc. etc. and with feeling and tears. Get everyone to cry about what you say. BTW, being tall is a help - it looks like a mo leader. To really do it, copy John C. Bennett and worm you way in at SLC (he did in Nauvoo and got into the loop).

There's one other way I noticed to get high leadership positions - if the wife is awesome at politicking she can overcome a lackluster spouse. In my current ward a guy was just called into the bishopric and he is a total dude (zero personality, ugly, unfriendly, although he does have a good job). When they moved in, the wife immediately plunged them into the ward political elites by constantly hanging out with the "in" women, setting up dinner dates with the elite families, etc. I've never seen anyone get to the top of the ward food chain so fast without any meaningful contribution from the husband.