The original thread closed and TBM women that act dumb pisses me off so bad. My youngest sister acts like a freaking air head when her TBM husband is around. He is such an ass. One of the least Christian acting loved my his ward member jerks that is the poster boy for morons. She teaches Seminary so she is not stupid.

I married up on purpose. I wanted to be able to talk with my wife when we get old and she no longer looks 20. My wife is way smarter than I am. She has her JD, owns her own business, raised our children and I am amazed every day she chose to be with me. I did good.

I have a had time respecting TMB women that wear their moo moos, flip flops, no make up and then put on their stupid act that they are so helpless and need a man to rescue them.

The culture of TSCC sets women back at least 100 years. At least back to the 1950's.

I hear ya, but I have to take a minor issue with one thing: Just because someone teaches Seminary, that does not imply that person must be intelligent to teach that stuff. All they have to do is read out of a manual. No thinking or intelligence required. So... with that said, You have not yet presented any evidence that your sister is actually intelligent. What else ya got? ;>D

Sorry but that is all I have for her. My sister really needs to divorce the a hole she married but then she would not be allowed to teach Seminary. The mind set of our church calling is more important than the mental health of yourself and your children is mind blowing crazy.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/07/2014 11:30PM by Susan I/S.

I'm not sure if women acting dumber than they are is exclusive to mormonism. I know I'm guilty of doing this in the past and have been working on catching myself and stopping- but it's hard. Why is it hard? Because if a woman shows that she's smart and fierce she is seen as a bitch, or stuck up, and that is not a good quality in our society.

For example: I was having a conversation with my female boss about school one day and she asked me what I was going to school for. I told her nursing. She told me she had wanted to do that but couldn't pass the basic biology class at the same school I'm going to. I told her I've already taken that biology class and many more beyond that and got A's in everything.

Awkward, right?

So I had to kind of "dumb down" my accomplishments to make her feel better. Instead of saying something like, "I worked my ass off, I'm smart, and I studied really hard to get those grades", I lowered my accomplishment by saying something like "I'm just really good at taking tests." This led to her saying that she wasn't good at taking tests.

I didn't act like I was stupid but I felt like I HAD to lower my sense of accomplishments with her- otherwise it would have been seen as an attack on her personally. And this happens all the time- I notice it mainly with other women, though, not men.

It's damned near universal - and both men and women do it.

And what you did demonstrates intelligence and social skills. You don't show up the boss, male or female. That's just common sense. A man would have done the same thing.

And men routinely act less intelligent than they are to get women, for what it's worth.

be intelligent to teach seminary. Every seminary teacher I ever had was a complete and utter moron.

Seminary teacher is a job where no critical thinking skills is a definite asset. Same for Gospel Doctrine teacher. Back in the 1970s and 1980s, about the only "apostates" I knew of who had left LDS Inc were former Gospel Doctrine teachers. They read too much.

Of course, now anyone can read the same material and more. Woo Hoo!

Women playing dumb is certainly a trend in my DH's TBM family. However, it has been my experience that it is the men with fragile egos that are intimidated by an intelligent woman. My mother-in-law was a disciple of the book, "Fascinating Womanhood." Although she was highly intelligent, her husband was the kind of man that needed to feel completely superior in every respect. He was, after all, the Patriarch of the family.
It was heartbreaking to see her act like a dumb little girl. She became so adept at it that her grown sons, even her own daughters, treated her with disdain. Her husband loved it though! He would always tell her "not to worry her pretty little head" about things, she only had to remember two things; "I love you... and the church is twooo."

The fact is, there are a lot of men that are intimidated by an intelligent woman, especially a woman that will speak up and tell them they are wrong, when they are wrong. One incident comes to mind that illustrates this. A male (ex-mormon) friend was passing through town while on vacation with his children. They came by and visited for a couple of days, but when leaving to their next destination in the area, he mentioned the name of a town, Trout Lake, that I had never heard of. I realized that he had misunderstood the name of the town and was planning to take the wrong freeway.... to who knows where. I said to him, "Oh, do you mean Troutdale?" He didn't respond....after a minute or so....still no response. Sensing his unease of having made a mistake, I cautiously stated that if, in fact, he meant Troutdale, then he would want to take the other freeway. This guy was obviously uncomfortable with me giving him directions. I don't know... maybe he took that old cliche that *real men don't ask for directions* waayyy too seriously.



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2014 12:21PM by braindead.

Trout Lake is about an hour and a half away from Troutdale. Not only that, it's across the Columbia River in a different state!
Big difference in destination.

I used to love going to the Royal Chinook in Corbett to eat fried clams and drink beer. Great times were had there after a long day of being on the boat.

I miss that part of the planet.

I have a dil that has the baby voice. Its whiney and annoying. To make matters worse she non stop apologizes like a nervous tic. Every other word out of her mouth is "i'm sorry".

DH and I call her on it every time she says it, but she can't seem to stop.

She's VERY educated. I don't know how she managed to get through 6 years of college, and have a job with some responsibility with the way she talks. Maybe she morphs into a real person. IDK.

Her voice makes me feel like screaming. It's little girl voice that comes through her nose.

Yeah, I know...it is beautiful there. My farm is in Washington - he was going to Oregon, and mentioned I-84. The only Trout Lake I know of in the area is a pristine lake with a primitive campground in the Mount Adams recreation area. That's why I questioned him... huh?

Troutdale is in Oregon about an hour up I-84 in the Columbia Gorge. We're close to the I-5/I-205 junction in the Salmon Creek area of Clark County. He was going to take I-5 into Oregon. He would have figured it out, back tracked, and eventually have gotten there, but his friends were expecting them for dinner. I was just trying to help. :)

Frankly, his whole reaction was really weird... like he just could not admit that he made a mistake. I saved him a lot of time and frustration, but no 'thank you' or anything.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/07/2014 05:49PM by braindead.

I can't stand the voice (airhead little girl) that a lot of Mormon women use. It makes even the smartest of them sound dumb. I have a friend who is a lawyer but when she talks, she sounds about 6 years old. I often wonder what other lawyers think of her but she does mostly wills and stuff so she doesn't have to worry often about sounding smart to a jury.

That being said, wearing flip flops and/or no makeup isn't a sign of being a dumb Mormon woman. Most women wear flip flops and being able to run to the grocery store without makeup takes more self-esteem than most Mormon women are able to manage. When I think of dumb Mormon women, I think of those super thin, fluffy-haired, boob job types that dress from their 14 year old's closet. Dressing too young really bugs me because honestly, some of them are beautiful women with great figures but then they ruin it all by dressing like a middle schooler and end up looking like the corpse bride. You expect what turns around to be a teenager so seeing that 40-something face is a shock. It ages women badly and it's a shame because if they dressed more age appropriate, they'd be undeniably beautiful instead of ridiculous. We saw one at Costco the other day (big boobs, big hair, sparkly jeweled jeans, baby voice and Aeropostle tight tee-shirt with obvious garment lines) and my teenage son thanked me for getting him out of Mormonism and away from women like that.

I know this woman who is very intelligent and really, really sweet -- lifelong nonmormon. She has a total baby girl voice. I worried about her watching her grow up, thinking the business world would eat her for lunch. She's not passive, nor a pushover, but she's not aggressive either. I figured nobody would take her seriously in business. Ever.

Well, she got her Master's in Speech Pathology and she teaches Special Ed for 3-4 year olds in a public school. She works with children on the autism spectrum, among other disabilities. Turns out, in her case, that baby girl voice is a professional advantage when you're working with pre-K kids. The administration, students, and parents all adore this woman. She is gifted with children and old people.

So you never know.

Yes, this!

Where I live, I see these women all the time (usually at the grocery store). They wear sequins and embellishments on everything, especially their tiny, tight little capri jeans that they wear with platform shoes or big heels. They all look pretty much the same: big hair, fake tans, dental veneers, and dressed like teenagers except without as much fashion sense and way more makeup. And garment lines, clearly visible under the three or four layers of Kleenex-thin shirts they've piled on for "modesty."

I often wonder what their teen daughters think of them, and hope the daughters aren't aspiring to grow up just like them. Except that the daughters will be culturally praised and rewarded with RM husbands if they do imitate their moms.

Scary.

I knew a woman who was very youthful looking and dressed like a teenager. The problem was that she also had a teenager. And the teenager felt like she had to compete with mom for the attention of men. So the teenager did what all teenagers do and she used her body to secure that attention and was pregnant at 16.

Note to moms: Dress appropriate for your age.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/07/2014 11:35PM by Susan I/S.

This description made me laugh. My 60 year old TBM mother wears those awful jeans with the embellishments on the butt and tight tops with blingy shoes. Now, my 60 year old mother has a fantastic little figure- but I have always wondered what the heck she was thinking.

My dad seems to love it- he buys her the blingy jeans. They live in the morridor- I guess it's normal there.

TSCC is to blame for forcing women into certain modes of behaviors and roles to be considered acceptable.

I agree with you entirely. It's an epidemic, and the baby voice they're expected to use only exacerbates the problem. The smartest Mormon women have to stretch their minds to the absolute limit of cognitive dissonance if they don't want to/can't leave.

However, what does anyone's clothing/appearance have to do with this? I don't care if someone dresses young, sexy, frumpy, modest, like a Playboy bunny, businesslike, whatever--if something intelligent comes out of their mouth, I'll listen. If it doesn't, I won't.

Appearance is just one part of the persona an individual projects. In this case, the clothing, hair, and makeup styles tend to go with the baby voice and other mannerisms. People do this all the time; they dress and act a certain way because that's how they want people to perceive them.

Although I obviously can't speak for all the ladies I see at the grocery store, I think maybe they dress the way they do because they are focusing on their physical attributes rather than their intellectual ones.

As a woman (living abroad), I've never encountered a man who was disgusted or repulsed or had negative impressions on me, a university educated woman who likes to read a lot of literature. Contrary to what many modern women believe, the vast majority of men (at least non-Mos) do not have a problem with educated women, or women who are intelligent, well-read.

What many people (men and women) have a problem with, are stuck-up attitudes, I-know-it-all attitude, that some people have.

Before complaining that 'men don't like smart women' maybe you should examine how you come across.

One of my most encouraging moments as a parent was the conversation my son and I had about dating dumb girls. His good friend was dating a "ditz" and he just didn't understand why. "Sure she's cute, but you can't have an intelligent conversation with her." Since then he has only dated smart girls - often smarter and more ambitious than he is.

As an outspoken, well-educated, pretty intelligent female, I personally wouldn't want a man who was intimidated by smart women. Male insecurity (and female too) is a big turnoff.

I have a graduate degree. My husband doesn't. That has never bothered him. At times I have made more money than him. That has never bothered him. He is secure in himself. To me that is a big attraction.