A few modern day "revelations" come to mind that are SO LAME that I cannot believe that TBMS really believe this stuff comes from God. Let me know if I'm missing any.

*Building more and smaller temples.

*Reducing mission age from 19 to 18 and from 21 to 19 for boys/girls respectively.

*Turning Ricks College into BYU Idaho.

*Girls can pierce one ear, but not two.

*1978: Blacks really are people, they can have the priesthood.

*Building the Conference center. (I know members who consider this to be inspired, really!)

I think you about covered it!

I'm trying to think of anything about Wars and Rumors of Wars, but nothing comes to mind! Some "prophet!" More like, "Profit!"

No tattoos. But, that one came out the same time as the single ear piercings.

Don't forget toe rings. None of that weirdness allowed on the feet sisters (and brethren?).

*We will never be able to land on the moon

*Every Young Man is required to serve a mission

*Tithing

Confirmation bias runs rampant with Mormonism and all other hard core orthodox believers of any faith. They see constant "proof" of revelations: mission calls, ward callings, a new chapel being built, another heinous gaudy ridiculous temple, ward boundary changes and Jesus's mug-shot on toast. It's all "proof" in their minds. It's marvelous! "I just got called to be the gospel doctrine teacher. It's a miracle!" Sweet mercies of the Lord... praise jebus.

Joseph Smith pretended to get revelation. Gordon Hinckley admitted openly that he doesn't get revelation. We need another prophet like I need a third nut.

Three-hour block schedule! Revealed through Kimball, the greatest prophet of this dispensation!

I would love to kick him in the balls for that revelation!

That BS coincided with my childhood. What torture it was to attend 3 hour blocks as primary kid. Of course, the only reason he did that is because nobody came back for Sacrament meeting. If I recall correctly, you would attend meetings, then have a 2-3 hour break, then Sacrament Meeting would happen.

Gee whiz, I'm scratching my head and...

I can't think of ANY revelations!

My answer: a big fat zero (0)!

What About the MALL????

What about Philly???

No more throat slashing in the temple.

No more naked touching in the temple.

How about: Clean up your messy yards? Was that from Hinckley or Kimball?

Then there was this one that somehow got forgotten: Don't shoot innocent deer! Except for the ones in the church's hunting preserve. They deserve to be shot. Probably something they did in the pre-existence.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2014 06:04AM by slskipper.

Flip flops in the chapel?

Do it! - SWK

Can't forget the Rev for Every Member a Janitor! (except of course those who (think they hold) important positions and wear Black Suits)

Nor can one forget that when You Clean up your Yard You Must Not Wear your Garments

How about DOUBT YOUR DOUBTS?

See, those profits really do have Rev's. What were you insinuating?

I think you got the Second One backwards...

Yep, GNPE, I sure did. I stand (or sit) corrected.

The Constitution will hang by a thread and a Mormon will save it.

I have no idea who said this, but it's something I always heard.

Brigham Young: the elders will save it.

Mitt needs your help. He can't do it alone.

No props during sacrement. Remember?? This was a HUGE revelation...

Didn't the announcement of the Perpetual Education Fund come with a lot of hooplah?

Almost everything the church announces is done with copious amounts of hooplah, it helps people think that the subject matter is relevant... or revelant I suppose

Communism eeer correlation.

Missionaries can live on $150.00 a month.

Send all money to salt lake and they'll give you a budget.

White shirts for everyone.

Road shows are evil

Let's just clarify this so their is no question as to the importance of this subject concerning the blessed women of this marvelous organization.
ONE piercing per ear. A woman may have TWO piercings but they cannot be in the same ear. Just one hole per ear in the typical ear lobe area. Ya GOT THAT?
It is very important to know where your holes are.

Females can pray now in Sacrament meeting.

Females can give a talk in General Conference.

I think females can give the last talk in a Sacrament Meeting now too.

Does speaking about caffeinated sodas on the non-revelation that they were not allowed, but now clarifying that they are allowed count as revelation or just prophesy?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2014 09:16AM by gentlestrength.

Don't touch your pee-pee
Send us your money
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Realtors
Boys can't be trusted at college, missions first
Girls can be trusted to go to college first but only for one year
You can think or question all you want, but don't tell anyone
Temples? We're not announcing any more stinking temples
Negr...emm...colo...emm..blac...those people are ok now.
Gays still aren't ok, and never will be because Sky Daddy said so
Pretend women are equal, even though we all know they aren't.
Send us more money
God said the way to heaven is through scrubbing toilets
As teens you were awesome, as adults you are not good enough
Anything not dressed in a burqa is walking pornography
You still have some money? Send it to us.


Those are some of the ones that I seem to hear about all te time

Loved those, but what about this very important revelation:

BYU can now put caffeinated beverages in their soda pop dispensers.

I've had more revelations about Mormonism this year than the prophet has.

I think the 1978 revelation concerning the priesthood is the only revelation given during my lifetime. Everything else is a change in policy or procedure and subject to change on a whim. The heavens have been silent, but the several committees who actually run TSCC have been busy anyway.

I'd probably describe the 1978 "revelation" concerning the priesthood as a policy change as well. The leaders at the time just prayed together and put it to a vote, right? A statement was issued, but no written "revelation". Maybe an "inspired" policy change, but I don't think anyone ever claimed communication with god on the matter.

The 1978 "revelation" was published in the form of a memo. "To whom it may concern..." It never impressed me as a revelation. I though of it as a forced policy change.

It seems all these "revelations" are just changes to "revelations"/policies of previous so-called prophets..What a shocker!

How about when missions were reduced down to 18 months for a short time in the early 1980s.

No wearing of thongs to church...errr, I mean no wearing of flip-flops to church...or thongs either...but how would anyone know on the thongs?

Do the thongs go over or under the garmies?

It is all about control-control-control-control!