I've been wondering why people resign from the church. I am currently an exmo who still attends for family and other social reasons. I'm considering resigning myself because I no longer believe, but I'm worried about the repercussions and am wondering if it's even worth it. So I was wondering about the resignation experiences of others, specifically:

Why did you resign?
How did your resignation benefit you?
Did your resignation harm you in any way? (including backlash from family, ect.)
Do you think your resignation was overall beneficial or harmful?

Thank you for all your comments!

Why did you resign?

Because I no longer wished to have my name affiliated with an organization whose core tenets I hold to be untrue. There are those that say that by resigning, you're recognizing that the church holds authority over you. For me, resignation was my way of telling them that they don't.

How did it benefit you?

It's an act with a certain degree of finality. It tells the church (and your family, I guess, if your family cares about that sort of thing) that they won't be bringing you back. This was more important to my wife than me, as I didn't have any family that would care one way or another.

For some, there's the peace of mind in knowing that you've clearly delineated the relationship between you and members of the church. There won't be any late-night stops by well-intentioned visiting teachers or cupcakes left on the doorstep.

Did your resignation harm you in any way?

No. BYU didn't revoke my degree, my employer (in the heart of Utah County) doesn't care at all. The only people I've seen harmed by their resignations are those that crusade on it. As in, I had an ex-Mo coworker that constantly denigrated his Mormon colleagues. He ended up getting terminated. That's less about resigning and more about geting a jerk about it, though.

Overall beneficial or harmful?

Beneficial. Definitely.

kept preaching to me and I wanted to draw a line in the sand. As long as I was a member, she still had "hope." It actually didn't change anything with her, but it did for me.

I sent an e-mail and within 2 days, I had their first reply back. Approximately 2 weeks later, the bishop showed up at my door with a cinnamon roll and to tell me he wouldn't try to talk me out of it. He has known me a long time and has watched what happened to my life, though he doesn't know the whole story.

What I was surprised about is what a relief it was. I always said I'd never jump through their hoops, but it has been one of the best things I've done for myself.

The only repercussions I've had are a long-time friend had a meltdown about it. We've worked through our issues over it now. My parents are dead, though had come to terms with my being exmo before they died. They were never extreme TBM as it was.

For the exact reason you would resign from the KKK if you were raised in it

Yep! Especially when they keep sending people to your door 17 years after you last attended as a member and take a firm NO! to mean maybe and leave promising to return despite telling them return visits will be considered tresspassing.

But many people never see harassment and disrespect to this level, think many of us are exaggerating, and see no point in it.
I don't personally care who had a good experience in the cult, but always appreciate them outing themselves as the sort to actually work against the laws and freedoms I hold. I know who to focus on, lies need repudiating.

...now? I wished I would have still stayed in. It would have meant more contact, confrontation, and calamity for the members at large. Not to be hurtful, but to play the part of Devils advocate.........a BIG NO NO. But, definitely more fun and games!!

...maybe that's what Dehlin is all about..........just continually stirring the pot.

For me, resignation was a statement that the Mormon church did not meet MY standards and not the other way around.

Think of it this way. Resigning is like you breaking up with someone. Excommunication is like them dumping you.

Not that it matters really.

I just wanted to do something that states I do not approve of them. I do not consider myself part of them. I do not want to be associated with them. I do not want them thinking for some reason I somehow still believe.

I did not want them to have the opportunity to ex me for apostasy. When this happens, the members smugly think I was not able to keep their standards so they had to punish me.

I left, having done nothing wrong except thinking. That's what bugs them the most, and in the long term is the most damaging to the church, IMO. If they get to ex you, they feel vindicated and their beliefs are validated.

For me the benefit is honestly being able to say I am not a Mormon. I may have been born into it but I outgrew it and left. This is easier for me than having to explain that I am a lapsed Mormon.

Yes, there were some harmful effects. It has impacted my relationships with extended family. I simply don't fit in and they seem confused and scared of me. I really don't spend time with them since all they know is Mormonism.

My children were treated like the plague by other kids. One benefited in a big way from it. One struggled with the exclusion in a small LDS town where there were not other kids from families like ours. My husband's business was impacted at first as word got out.

Over time, it was worth it. We excelled in every way. My children are successful, independent thinkers and glad they were not raised as cult zombies. The Mormon church is insignificant. It's like leaving the Musketeers Fan Club at age 9.

I am "out" as of a few months, but that just means inactive. I have told others who know about my unbelief that resignation is on the table just to prep them. However, I'm not pulling the lever at this point. I'm just worried about some friendships which may be strained due to me no longer being a formal member. Yes, I've heard people on this board say that these types of folks aren't really friends and that it's their problem if the shun me - and I agree with them to a point. But in my case, this is just where I'm at (a personal decision).

I will say this, at least to my face people have been very nice to me after I went inactive and even when they know why I left. Of course, who knows what is going on behind my back and during Ward Council. I just try to not think of it.

I'm in the process of resigning, so I guess I can't fully answer the question, but my family knows I'm removing my name and that of my children...my hubby is coming along too.

We considered staying for the social reasons, but we determined that it was somehow telling our children that there was something good about the LDS faith. Which, when you have scriptures in D&C 132 that tell a man if he wants another wive, go ahead and get one! Ask your first wife first, but if she says no, she'll be destroyed so you can go ahead and do what you want.

The fact that THAT is still in LDS scripture, as well as women's roles, and the whole stupid gospel (there are some cool things too)...we want to be completely removed from it. We do not want our numbers to be included in teh numbers that the church uses to say how big they are.

There was backlash. Upset family, but I feel like it's how we live with a clear conscience.

or your kids, alone. We went your route for several years but it became obious that members don't understand boundaries and would continually try to go around us to convert our kids. We finally had to lay down the law and just resign, repurcussions be damned.

Why did you resign?
How did your resignation benefit you?
Did your resignation harm you in any way? (including backlash from family, ect.)
Do you think your resignation was overall beneficial or harmful?


I resigned because I could no longer believe in the claims of the LDS Church.

Yes, it was a benefit to me as it created a clean break. Complete disconnect. Took my power back and owned it!

Don't seem to have had any harm or backlash from anyone. Most in my family (except for 2) that were going to leave had resigned or had not attended in a long time anyhow.

Believing husband was supportive. (I've written extensively on how we made it work.)

100% beneficial.

Because it's: false, bunk, nonsense, fraudulent, chicanery, untrue, bullshit, etc...

Why would any person of decency want to have thier good name attached to an institution (corporation) of such disripute??

Of course resignation is warranted. Only those with a boot on thier throat give in to tyrants.


HH =)

I haven't resigned. They don't bother me anymore and resigning would just cause a bunch of family drama. I'll resign if they harass me.

You become a former Mormon,

I still haven't formally resigned, but even if I did, whatever ward I lived in would have my file with a notation attached. Remember, for those who do resign the church can come back after a lengthy interview process. All they need to do is contact the local Bishop and he can retrieve your file.

They lie about everything including your records and membership status, so why give them one more thing to lie about, or to stir them into coming to my door in attack mode?

I guess the bottom line for me is that I don't recognize their authority, and neither does God.

My brother and I co-resigned with a letter detailing our complaints. Our father got a copy of the letter. We made a statement.

For me, formal resignation was like giving a huge "fuck you" to the church.