My wife and I recently left the church, and then made an accidental baby. We are not really ready to resign (family issues).. But i've heard rumors that babies of inactive members who do not even bless the child in the church.. somehow the child gets on the records anyways.. how does this happen? Neighbors see that you have a baby? Your parents tell the church you had a baby? I suppose we're gonna have to resign to avoid all this, but how does it all work out?

Typically the information is entered into the database when the baby is blessed. However the ward clerk could potentially add the child to your records if they know about him/her. Resigning would be the safest way to ensure that your child never gets entered into the database.

Correct. I used to be "tasked" with finding out that info as WML for the couple of inactive YSAs who had children out of wedlock. The clerk would then pass that info on to the local family ward, where a record could be created. In eight years, hello mishies.

My understanding is that the Ward Clerk would need to be given a name/gender/birthdate in order to create a membership record. Without that info, he wouldn't be able to do it. The clerk would probably create such a record based on second hand information if he felt it was reliable, without your input or permission.

My wife and I were less active for about a year and had a new baby. The ward clerk asked me repeatedly for the name/birthdate information in order to create a record. It turns out neither of my youngest children had records, and I regret that I provided the necessary information to get them both on the roles. At least the local ward has been very good about respecting our DO NOT CONTACT request.

Just a note on terminology:

What they create is a "child of record" record which is different than a "membership record" which doesn't happen until someone is baptized. Either way the name goes into the database though...

Yes, it's possible. As mentioned above, parents usually fill out forms at the time of the baby blessing; the membership clerk uses that information to create the member record and subsequent blessing certificate. So, if a ward/clerk really wanted to get the child's name entered sans blessing, they could do it. You know, for the child's salvation and the completeness of the mormon records.

On the other hand... a lot of mormons just aren't that competent or motivated to create extra work. And... since "PR" is second to temple work, I doubt mormons want to be known as the church that creates members without permission. There's that liability issue.

"Well-intentioned" grandparents and relatives can be notorious for having the children of inactive parents become members. I never let it happen during my shift without permission of (both) parents.

I left the church and divorced my MoMo husband, then had a child years later with a nevermo. If, somehow, my child gets put on the rolls or harrassed by the church EVER, a sh$t storm will ensue. It irks me, but I can totally see my family giving her information to the ward. Ugh!

including in my current ward. In one case, the child of a nevermo and an inactive-mo was added by the child's uber-TBM grandparents. (In fact, the child appeared in the ward directory as THEIR child, not as his own father's child.) The baby was blessed in sacrament meeting and I distinctly remember the child's grandpa blessing him with the sacred responsibility to set the example for his parents. Lots of pressure for a tiny person who can't even sit up yet...

There are three or four other examples in my current ward, mostly related to people either letting the missionaries in (usually senior missionaries, not young ones) or asking for church welfare. None of these children were ever blessed, at least not in sacrament meeting.

Yeesh. I'm wondering if my parents will try that BS with me, even though mormonism and the subject of us leaving is an enormous elephant in the room. Time will tell.

I was just wondering, but are you guys talking about the a) Reorganized Church of Christ, b) the Church of Christ, or c) the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, when you talk about Mormons? Or is there another one? I was reading some of the forums and I couldn't tell which one you guys were all trying to seperate from...

The answer is C.

My children never went inside an LDS meeting house until they attended their grandparents (my parents) funerals. Several members tried valiantly to get me to attend...and bring my Catholic wife and non-mo children with me...until I told them to stay away...to which they seemed hurt....

Ron Burr

It depends on the ward too. In order to create a "child of record", usually the needed information is on a form when the child is blessed. If the child is not blessed, and neither parent gives permission, then, technically, the child should not be added. However, if you have an uber TBM clerk, it is possible to add the child to the parents record as a "child of record" if you have a name, gender, birthdate and birthplace. I never did that since I felt it was wrong to do without the parents permission, but, it could be done if no one notices or cares.

and can often be found in the newspaper.

I went inactive. Two years later I had a baby that, I thought, unlike his older siblings, would be free of Mormonism.

When my baby was three, I was contacted by his new Primary teacher. To this day I wonder how he got on the roll for Primary. I admit that I still live in the same ward, and many of my LDS neighbors knew about the birth.

As a funny side note: I was looking at the church genealogy records online. (I am only inactive, so still have a valid membership number to access the LDS records.) I found my family. My son's birthday is incorrect. Someone must have entered it wrong. There is no way for me to fix it. The correction has to come through an "official source." I wrote an e-mail pointing out that as a mother, I was more likely to have the correct information than a ward clerk. However, I made sure not to identify which child had the incorrect birthdate. I am assuming this means my non-Mormon child has incorrect information on his "child of record" records.

I think its important to remember that just because your child is on the list for primary, it doesn't mean he is on the ward list. Our ward had a list of primary age children that included kids that were not members, but, since they lived within the ward boundary, they were listed. This just meant that they could be fellowshipped. I had several people ask why they weren't listed on the ward list and had to explain that MLS only showed members and "children of record".