Ive been contemplating it. Truthfully it has been simply because I dont want to ruffle feathers. Once Im a little more settled I think Ill do it officially. Until then I am inclined to just mentally count myself out.
Agree completely. Some people have been going through a lot of turmoil by coming out of the closet hastily and announcing to the world with out giving consideration to how it affects relationships.
I dont believe in the Morg and that includes not believing that they have any power over me, whatsoever, whether I resign or not
I have never really been hassled, post morg, by tscc
the only reason I would have to resign, would be to try and bring the figures down - but a) I dont believe they would stop counting me in their membership, and b) the membership figures they quote do not really represent anything approaching reality with or without resignees
Resigning means playing their game. Other churches do not count you as a member for decades if you disappear, so why should I beg LDS, Inc. for my constitutional right to Freedom of Association?
They do not remove your name, they just annotate it. You are still on their books and they still keep track of you. It does not keep them from knocking at your door. They still brag about you as part of their millions.
If you decide to stop going, you are out. I do not need their permission to leave.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/12/2014 07:23AM by axeldc.
Exactly. If it meant they would quit counting me, it would be different. They don't. When I quit going the only option was excommunication. I wasn't going to play that game. I went almost overnight from being a temple "worthy" member to not believing after studying history of the church. But in the 1980's resigning was not an option. I have moved so much and changed my name. The church does not bother me. Why play their game. I haven't tried to cancel my temple sealings and haven't resigned. They have no power.
I was still under their thumb in the eighties so by the mid 90s I was able to resign and did. It was a protest and I didn't want them counting me in their membership count propaganda.
The church doesn't stop counting you as part of the larger church membership number. That's their game, we don't have to play, it doesn't really make much of a difference. Like Facebook, delete your account, but they still have it, and the government still has terms and conditions with Facebook allowing them to access whatever you have ever put on Facebook, even if it has been deleted by you. It's not deleted....
I think the only good think about resigning is that it lets the church know you don't believe, that you know what you are not supposed to know, and you could tell your neighbors about it, your ward members, your family and friends. Thats the good thing about resigning from the church.
I haven't done it yet, because of the way the church strategically sends its come back letter out to your address, your bishop and possibly your parents. I don't want my wife to know. I don't want my parents to know. Its a delicate thing. Only when the time is right. Even though they already know I don't believe, for them it would be a little too much. I know its ridiculous in a way, but you know how TBMs are, even if you haven't believed in years they still have that tiny TBM hope; your name in the temple, keeping you in their prayers, etc.. To learn you resigned from the church could hurt my marriage a little too much. It was hard enough to find common ground...
I can understand why you wouldn't want to give the church that information, Gazelam. I don't want to give the church my current name and address either, which I would have to in order to resign. I think they have figured out that I don't believe (or died) when I resigned my callings, quit paying tithing, didn't renew my TR and haven't attended in over 30 years.
I don't consider myself Mormon anymore. I have already "quit" the church. But my DW freaked over the idea of me resigning... At this point I wouldn't even care if they Ex'd me. As long as my name is on the records...I know people like my Mom, and wife will think there is a chance that I will come back. But it's not going to happen.
There is sand in the gear box if you refuse to play their reindeer resignation game too. I think more sand by not playing the game, but that's just my opinion, I don't really have any data on that.
I haven't resigned because somewhere in my subconscious it's reassuring to know that I belong to this billion dollar corporation that is admittedly difficult (and now undesirable) to join. And can always fall back on it as a plan B. Or plan Z! I won't ever return. Am still grateful for some good life-stuff TSCC taught me.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/12/2014 09:55AM by lenina.
WHOA... lets not get into the old thinking habits of black and white, only one true right way to do it!
Resignation is a personal decision, usually done when the timing is as near perfect as it's going to get for optimum success. Family fallout, especially from the generational, cultural, BIC Mormons is often high.
Remember, you are not just leaving a church, you are often leaving your lifetime culture.
I like playing with them. You know, being "that guy" that needs to be avoided. Resigning would mean I'd disappear to them. I don't want to give them that satisfaction. All is NOT well when I show up on all their "not being a good mormon" reports. Or when they are forced to visit me. They took too much from me for me to just walk away without exacting the proverbial pounds of flesh.
But of course... that's me, and I understand how others want the clean break. Family/culturally, I'm too deep into it to be able to do that.
And... yeah. The bishop spends a couple minutes filling out the Administrative Action form. The Stake president spends a minute signing/forwarding it to Salt Lake Headquarters. Some volunteer clerk (maybe minimum wage?) in Salt Lake brings up my database file and clicks "resigned." (It doesn't go away.) I don't see see the big, cathartic, "I told them!" reason.
I took a long time to resign, longer than many on this board felt I should have taken, because I wasn't ready yet. That is a very amorphous reason, but I didn't want to be forced or coerced or backed into a corner to resign. I wanted to make my own decision.
I found the honesty, specific suggestions, and the "this is how you resign" forum the most helpful. The posters who told me I was being an immature baby for waiting so long were not helpful. Bullying is something the Church is great at, forcing people to follow their specific path. Some of that mentality seemed to still be at work in some comments I got.
At the beginning is was because I was hoping that they would excommunicate me first. That was 8 years ago and they having even attempted to reactivate me or even contact me. Darn.
At this point I'm going to resign soon just because I don't want them to claim me as a member. The more people they can claim as members, the stronger their anti-homosexual stance can be and I don't want to be a part of it.
You mean why have I not chosen to comply with the LDS church's process of officially resigning my membership?
Easy: I don't work for them.
I resigned the moment I decided I wasn't a member anymore.
There's no evidence to suggest that sending in a resignation letter ensures they don't count you as a member, and there's plenty of evidence to the contrary.
When I had my Mormonectomy it was decades ago and it actually was not possible to resign. There was only excommunication and actually asking to be ex-communicated was like asking the school bully to please beat you up one more time.
Forty years later resignation for me personally seems a little ridiculous. They are not honest--about their numbers or anything else--and I see no reason to have any dealings with dishonest people.
I understand why it is so important to so many now to resign. If I were just getting out of the cult today, I might feel differently. But I'm not and I don't.
Just another junk mail list to be on.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/12/2014 12:52PM by blueorchid.
A few reasons but the biggest one is my very TBM father. He's heartbroken that we've all (my family) left the church. He holds out hope that one day we'll all return. He's realistic about it and doesn't really think we will, but there's always that hope.
The 2nd reason is one a lot of people have touched on. The church has no power over me and I dont have to play their game.
Third is, the more people resign, the more it will force them to pause and think. And come up with more ways to make the church more palatable, like the changes in the temple ceremony. I don't want it to become more palatable, I want the church to crash and burn a fiery death. I kinda wish they hadn't taken out the death oaths and naked touching in the temple, because I bet that would have scared away a lot of people right there.
If LDS Inc excommunicates me, I can sue them, and I will win, because I resigned.
If you haven't resigned, they can excommunicate you, and you can't can't do jack. Explain to me how you are in the more powerful position. I see it as an exercise in pretzel logic.
You may not care that they have that power, but they do have it and the law recognizes it.
IF it were to come to that, and it's a BIG if, I'd go to the church court with a resignation letter in my hand, hand it to the bishop, and walk out. Two can play that game.
I wouldn't send it in any earlier, either. I'd let them all convene and waste their time.
I don't see a difference between the mormons excommunicating me vs. Jeff Holland showing up in front of my house and dusting his feet off. What does it have to do with me?
For you, you need not do anything. If you're done with TSCC, you're done!
For the TSCC, you're a member until you're excommunicated or resign. They can call upon you (and Do Not Contact lists are ignored, as shown by other posts) at will. And they "will"!
Resigning or being excommunicated has meaning for TSCC, not necessarily you.
You can do it just for the letter. When was the last time you got a let from them? They never write, they never care; cheap heap of creep. It might be something the kids would admire and appreciate today or someday. When it comes up to it, it is just a letter, though scrapbooks like letters. It may come in handy someday. Maybe you can write a mock letter - and send it to them if you want, stating why they no longer are allowed to or simply don't wish to count you as a number-moron, kind of like a reverse of the Mormon-Move-Along-Card; doesn't have to be the form letter; might say "unbaptise me mfs", "spend a stamp on me", "here is some more busy work- sorry", "kick the can down the road wayward warrior" or "Welcome to the Lord's house, now leave (scumbags)" or you entered my house first and I no longer wish to enter your so called "house of the Lord" without a name.
I went into a several week standoff with my wife, realized she wasn't backing down, decided to make some compromises instead.
We skip conference, both stake and general, family home evening (we still do stuff, just no church lessons), scaled back tithing to 50% previous, skip other meetings occasionally. I was released (I asked to be) from my time consuming calling and now have a sunday calling, etc.
It's not everything I wanted, but it more or less keeps up the show without being so oppressive.
Now in my wife's case, I think she honestly believes parts of it, and her friends and most of our families are all members, she doesn't want to lose that. I understand that. I'm not always happy pretending to believe, but for the moment it's working. As I've never been in this situation I'm not sure how long it will last, but my wife and I have a pretty good marriage and quite a few young kids, so I'm hoping we can make it work.