As most of you know Sacrament meeting is supposed to last for 70 minutes. Bishops will have members come up and "bear"'their testimonies until the 70 minutes is up.

Before the 3 hour block was invented, Sacrament meeting lasted 1 1/2 hours. Fast and Testimony meeting sometimes would go for over 2 hours.

One Sunday this Dude got up first and bore his testimony. When he got back to the pew he was sitting on he slumped over and died right in the chapel. I was sitting behind him and was the only person that tried to help him. I asked several of the men to go call an ambulance. It was before cell phones and there was a phone in the hallway. A few minutes later the ambulance showed up and the firemen were in the chapel trying to save him while people continued bearing their testimonies.

The Bishopric continued to sit in their important seats, the meeting went for the required 1 1/2 hours and everyone stayed in their seats. I was a Priest at the time and thought trying to save a mans life was more important than a Fast and Testimony meeting.

He could have died at the beginning of the testimonies and sat there for hours "sleeping" in a room full of people. I guess you really can die alone in a chapel full of people.

It has been many years since he died and I still remember I was the last person he spoke to. None of his LDS friends came to him in his time of need even though they were in the same room.

So many things wrong at the church Of Jesus's brother.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/13/2014 01:20AM by themaster.

You seem to have many interesting stories relating to church. My experience has been less exciting.

What a funny (in a sad way) story...

Nice try. The Dude abides.

Funny how the needs of TSCC triumph over the needs of it's members. When I was pregnant, we didn't have a car. Not a huge deal, but I needed a ride to go the grocery store. Usually, this was not a problem, but God Forbid that I tried to go to the grocery store on "Ward Temple Day." No one would take me (a living person) to the store because they had to go do stuff for dead people. Now, I'd understand it if it were a wedding, or their kid's endowment session. But the ENTIRE Ward would not take a day off at the Temple to help the pregnant lady with her grocery shopping.

Dead=more important than living. TSCC=more important than it's members needs.

Once I figured this out, my life became more simple...

I can guarantee you that my parents have spent more time catering to dead people than they ever did their own children. All I can say is, I hope those dead people appreciate it.

Because of those dead people, many times I was deprived of necessities. Dead people are very expensive to hang out with. My parents had to choose between the dead and their own kids. The dead people won.

RELATED THOUGHT

In our ward SM can run over 5 or even 10 minutes but if the speakers are through 5min, ahead of time the bishop has to get up and talk for the 5 min,

When I was a kid, I hated fast & testimony meeting with passion. But I also hated the windbags on the High Council about as much. One Sunday, the other two speakers had finished their talks really early. Having finished doodling all over the program and having exhausted the entertainment value of the hymnal, I was next trying to see how asleep I could get my legs before it was time to go home. I hated church meetings then and still do now.

Anyhow, it looked like we might get to go home early. But no! That damned windbag of a high councilman not only took up more than his allotted amount of time, so we actually ended up going home late.

It would be different if they had something important to say. Or even something interesting. All they have is assorted windbaggery.

My grandmother was a pistol and wasn't afraid to speak the truth regardless of the occasion. Since she was almost deaf and didn't wear a hearing aid, she had trouble regulating the volum of her voice. one Sunday she went with us to sacrament meeting and a high clouncilman was scheduled to speak. Five minutes into his talk, my grandma in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear said, "Oh why doesn't he just sut up and sit down. Nobody's listening to him anyway." You rock, Grandma.

Does anyone know why it is so important for Sacrament Meeting to last at least 70 minutes? I used to know the reason but it was so long ago I have forgotten.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/13/2014 06:21PM by themaster.

Because Jesus kills a kitten for every minute a meeting ends before 70 minutes.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/13/2014 06:38PM by Stray Mutt.

exactly 70 minutes.

When I was a priest back in Utah, my Bishop stood straight up during a sacrament meeting talk with an "Oh S__T" expression on his face. I thought, alright he's going to end the meeting because this talk is so boring .... wrong he started jerking and then went stiff and collapsed in a grand mal seizure .... lots of people rushed to help him, including me, his wife stuck something between his teeth so he would not bite his tongue and several of the elders quorom carried him out of the chapel ... and yes the speaker kept droning on through all of this

It was the first Sunday after our ward had split. I had to take one of the kids out in the hallway during Sacrament meeting, while walking by the Relief Society room a lady just fell out of her chair. We helped her out into the lobby and laid her down on the couch. Our newly called bishop was the town doctor, I went up to the podium to ask for his help, She died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. She was my neighbor when I was a kid, real nice lady.



This whole topic of dying at church reminds me of a joke.


The Mormon Church is so spiritually dead, that one time an old man died of a heart attack in the back of the chapel, and the medics took away three rows of people before they found him.

"The Geranium On The Window Sill Just Died But Teacher You Went Right On"

This book was subversive when I was a young Mormon.

http://www.amazon.com/Geranium-Window-Sill-Teacher-Right/dp/082520500X

Back when we were TBM or at least partly TBM, We had a guy with shocker/pacemaker (not sure what it called) implanted in his chest in our ward. When his heart acted up it would jolt him good. Every now and then you would see his face go red and he would bend over in pain - but he stayed in sac meeting and every body acted like it was no big deal. "oh, that's just old Bob again." I felt bad for the guy because it had to hurt like hell.

We knew the end was near the day he got up and bore a 20 minute testimony about driving around to find a washer to fix his faucet and no one had one, and it was a miracle that he finally found one in SLC. He would get up and everyone would just sit teher waiting for him to get a shock. Jesus H Christ....crazy....



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/14/2014 12:20AM by perky.

Once a vey old lady gave the closing prayer and promptly passed out. After she received medical attention we were sent home for the day.

Everyone thought God quiet clever that a nurse had been speaking that day and was therefore close when it all happened and was able to help the old lady.

A young missionary collapsed out cold on the floor on the stand, on his way to the pulpit to give his talk. His father and some other men carried him down the stairs, down the aisle (we weren't allowed to open the side front doors) and out the back. The Bishop got up and said, "To continue, our next speaker will be...." There was no indication that anything had happened, at all. The father was embarrassed, but I thought the way the "bretheren" on the stand didn't react, made it even more embarrassing. The kid had the flu and a fever, but heaven forbid that any sick individual stay home to get well and keep those germs away from others.

Reminds me of that old golf joke about one golfer named Harry, dying on the 12th hole. Harry's golfing partner said it was really awful, and it took forever to get Harry back to the clubhouse. He said he had to hit the ball, and drag Harry, hit the ball, and drag Harry, for the remaining 6 holes. It's all about priorities.

We had a couple in the ward that were poor, but earning their way to heaven by having a litter of children.

When they had about five, one day in Sacrament meeting their toddler, whom the Mother couldn't be bothered with making him sit down on the pew, fell forward onto the pew in front of him with a thump so hard it shook the chapel.
We all held our breath waiting for the little tyke to breath and bawl. It was a few breathless seconds. The Mother got up slowly and took the crying tot out.

Her husband had been giving a talk on the stand at the time. He could see what had happened from the pulpit.

He NEVER once reacted to the accident. He didn't stop his speech and ask his wife "Is he alright?". He just droned on and on as if nothing had happened.

I guess Mormons just think there are more babies where that one came from and it doesn't matter if they get killed or brain damaged along the way.

The rest of the ward watched with silent concern.

It's so odd, no one that I know of ever commented later what lousy parents they were, or that they should have been watching the child better, or even expressed concern about the child's welfare.

Reminds me of a SM meeting about 7 years ago at BearLake, UT, an elderly lady collapsed and died right there. A few people gasped, but the Bishopric kept on going and didn't bother to stop and render help.

Behold, a certain man... Fell among thieves.

I am so pissed off right now reading this. It's a stupid meeting! Why keep going in the face of actual emergency?! Why are such people allowed to run loose?

Hath not Heaven an ear? Is all the lightning wasted?

Assuming that he was a real person, and guilty of at least half of what was attributed to him, how do you think he would react to these Mobots that just sit there and watch illness, injury and even death without ever flinching or trying to help?

Personally, I think he would be PISSED. I would LOVE to see the bishoprick explain its collective way out of THAT one.

Sorry, Dudes. . .pass the celestial 'hood and check directly into Outer Darkness.

Reminds me of when Howard W Hunter was about to give a talk to 30,000 of us BYU students in the Marriott Center.

He was accosted by a long haired dude in white who jumped up on the podium and told everyone but Hunter to leave. 10 tense minutes later the assailant was subdued.

And Hunter gave his prepared talk. Slightly abridged, as I recall, so we could leave on time.

I remember when Howard W. Hunter fell backwards at Conference. This is how TBM I was as a young man. I had just gotten my Eagle and my dad asked me what I wanted to do. I wanted to go to Conference!

Anyhow, we were waiting outside the Tabernacle and we hear all this commotion. It wasn't until we went back to Grandma's and saw the news that night that we figured out what had happened. They picked up Elder Hunter and he finished his talk as planned.

I also learned from that experience that GA talks are prepared well in advance. I was a little bit sad to realize that the GAs just read their talks, something my mom never, ever allowed us to do. I was in the balcony seated right behind the media. The media had been given the talks under embargo. Since I was right behind them, I could read over their shoulders.

Between this and your claim of 12yo Temple weddings I'm now taking all your claims with a grain of salt.

squeebee Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Between this and your claim of 12yo Temple
> weddings I'm now taking all your claims with a
> grain of salt.


I really do not care what you think. The stories I tell about LDS are real. I have first hand knowledge for most of them. You need to quit assuming things. The 12 year old did not get married in a temple. She did get married when she was 12.

It is ok with me if you do not read or post responses on anything I write. For most of the things you have challenged me on, you, Levi and others ignore that other posters write they have had similar experiences. One of the posters on 14 year olds getting married wrote she had gotten married at the age of 15 yet you ignore her statements. Just because you have not had a similar experience does not make it false.

No one is forcing you to read the things I write.