Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2014 10:58PM by Tristan.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2014 10:59PM by Tristan.

?

Tristan, this is Saturday. For most people (though not me!) this is a weekend day when people can go do stuff like shopping and going to see a movie and go out to eat...which means: many people who are usually here at this time are not on this Saturday night.

I am sorry, but I don't know enough to say anything about this...but I AM sorry about what you're going through. Your questions are ones that I don't know hardly anything about, and although I wish I did (in a general learning sense), I do not know enough to say anything of substance.

You are not being ignored...it's just that there aren't that many people here (if you'll notice, the board is very slow tonight)...and probably most of the people who ARE here are like me: they don't know enough to answer the questions you ask.

I am on your side, though...and thinking about you...and I hope that there will be some sensible answers for you soon.

:( :( :(



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2014 11:05PM by tevai.

It's just Tristan being Tristan.

...and if you do not repost what you deleted, no one CAN answer your questions!!!!!!

Tristan, I cannot count the times my post is the last one on something. While I don't like being the thread killer, it happens. That's all.

Back off the drama. Sometimes you have to wait for a reply for more than 18 minutes.

LOL +1

She went all drama because she did not get a reply. 18 minutes between posting and going drama.

Maybe we could set up an Eliza chat bot to respond to her in less than 10 minutes?

http://nlp-addiction.com/eliza/

Seriously, that is one over acted drama performance.

You need to be a bit more mature. Other people are not at your beck and call.

Tristan, I too have been the last man/women standing in several threads..think of it as proclaiming your opinion but an instant response does not need to validate your post. You made your stmt and many read with no response. Many also feel connected and continue to support, but not always typing in a message. Don't go far friend..this pool is not against you.

I was just rewatching "The Matrix" for the zillionth time. When Trinity decides that Neo is really, truly "the one" -- *sigh* Good stuff.

What was the question?

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was just rewatching "The Matrix" for the
> zillionth time. When Trinity decides that Neo is
> really, truly "the one" -- *sigh* Good stuff.
>
> What was the question?

In general terms---so as not to disclose anything Tristan does not want disclosed at this point---it was about what constitutes a reasonable/acceptable response from someone who is in a continuing abusive situation...given the dangers and the realities of the specific abuse, and the emotions those realities prompt in the victim.

P.S. Time for my chauffeuring gig now...be back when I get back.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2014 12:08AM by tevai.

That sounds like something that should be talked about in detail with someone she can trust. Unless it is the last possible option, an open web discussion board is probably not the best place for such discussions.

Maybe this would be a better place to start

http://www.dahmw.org/

That's a great resource, MJ. Thanks for posting it.

I'm sorry. I've just been shit on tonight over & over. & I took it out on everyone here. Look, I know I'm very fucked up in the head, that my morals & beliefs & everything I think & feel is dead wrong & fucked up.

It had nothing to do about not having replies. I know I'm not wanted here. I know I shouldn't have bothered anyone or taken up all of your time.

Tristan, some days are like that. Don't take anything seriously that you are thinking right now. It's just a reaction to stress. Get a good night's sleep. Start fresh tomorrow morning after you are rested.

From what read in the post I am replying to, I think you could do yourself a favor by talking things over with someone that is trained in diagnosing depression.

A simple, treatable, chemical imbalance in the brain can make your feel the way you described.

I have been in a place like what you described. It was where I hit bottom, threw away everything I thought I believed and rebuilt myself in a way that I could feel better about myself.

Comment withdrawn. Didn't know she was a drama queen.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2014 11:50AM by Tom Padley.

Tristan, if you TRULY believe you're not wanted here, why do you come back after every one of your *hairflip* "Fine, I'm taking my toys and going home!" dramafests?

You do this whole routine on a regular basis. There is a pattern to it, even if you can't see it.

If you really believed you weren't welcome here, you wouldn't come back. Maybe consider that you do this "nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm going to eat some worms" diatribe because you are feeling vulnerable and need support.

Instead of blowing toxic false-accusation chunks all over everybody here, just ask for support. Maybe say something like, "I'm feeling unimportant, not wanted, under-valued, worthless (whatever it is) and could use some support." That way you get what you need without sh!tting on other RfMers who might be having a kind of tough day themselves.

Tristan I am a giving you the martyr of the month award. You earn it in so many ways.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2014 03:15AM by spicyspirit.

Tristan, I have been on this board since 2012, and you have gone away for good at least a half dozen times. The board always welcomes you back as though you never left.
I have never felt the way you do. But we are an anonymous, if transient, group of people that will always be here for you. I promise up and down that no one is EVER purposely ignoring or making light of your reality. I know your mind will have you think we don't care, BUT WE ALWAYS HAVE, AND YOU ALWAYS COME BACK BECAUSE OF JUST THAT.
Stay with this tribe that KNOWS YOU and loves you no matter what.

As well intentioned as you may be, I hope you all realize that nothing you say will be of any real help. This is a person that thrives on drama and craves attention. As long as RFM continues to be a place where that attention can be had, the dramatic "woe is me" posts will continue.

There is only so much that people on the internet can do. We know the rough outline of Tristan's story, but not the details. Tristan needs help closer to home. She needs a thorough medical and mental evaluation and counseling. She needs to be in contact with a mental health counselor who knows the full details of her situation. We can provide a certain degree of support, but without help closer to home, little will change.

My OP actually had nothing to do with me, but about something I was told that made me very angry. It had to do with victim blaming. I deleted my OP out of anger, not because I didn't have immediate replies.

I am not mentally ill, despite how much the people around me have been trying to convince me that I am for 27 years — since I was 11 1/2. It doesn't help that my older sister is schizophrenic. A huge part of the problem is that people in my "family" especially my "parents" believe that if you show any sort of emotion, you must be mentally ill. So if I become angry or upset, they tell me I'm mentally ill. I am not violent for the most part, but I have thrown things several times. However, if they become angry or upset, their emotions are valid & justified, & are considered "normal". This includes violent behavior on the part of my "father".

I have talked about the deep details of my life for the last 5 years. I have repeated stories over & over. After awhile, I had to stop talking about the details of the ongoing abuse.

If I am angry or upset it's because I am constantly being told that I am wrong & that I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm constantly being told that my thinking & views & ideas are wrong. I am told these things on a daily basis, & I go through periods where I think maybe everyone is right about me.

I am definitely leaving now.

(Edited for typos)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2014 10:39AM by Tristan.

If you are in a circumstance which causes you pain, then you owe it to yourself to leave. The people around you call you crazy and causes you pain. You should put some distance between you and them. Your family tells you that you are wrong all of the time. It is time to put some distance between you and them as well.

Tristan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have talked about the deep details of my life for the last 5 years. I have repeated stories over & over. After awhile, I had to stop talking about the details of the ongoing abuse.

Tristan, I've read probably everything (or most everything) you've posted for however many years. I'm going to stand by what I said. There is only so much that we can do. You also need an advocate who can see you face-to-face and who can get to know your situation in detail. People who are living or working in difficult situations go to counselors all the time. I've done it myself. The constant "I'm leaving for good now" messages that you give to us, the throwing things, the shouting matches with your family, tell me that you could use some additional coping skills. That is the purpose of counseling. If nothing else it allows you to vent to someone who knows a lot about you, far more than we can know you here.

Bottom line, you need to get out of the house and into your own living situation. You need to get an income from either work or disability. Look at it this way -- your parents will not be around forever. What will you do, where will you go after they die? I remember that you've said that you have health issues. What exactly is preventing you from supporting yourself adequately? Why haven't you tried living with roommates or renting out a room or basement in someone's home? These are questions that I do not recall you ever addressing on the board.