I can't stop thinking about it and reading and watching videos about all the problems in the church. Its like an endless pit of crap that no longer surprises me when I come upon yet another fact that shows Joseph Smith as a complete fraud. And all those who twist or change things so that it doesn't disprove their beliefs just piss me off! Im obviously still hurting over this since its only been a few days since this fantastic discovery of how awesome and untrue the church is, but I can feel the anger creeping in. Its going to be ugly.
It feels like Ive been in this incredible relationship with the perfect guy for the last 12 years and suddenly I find out he is a total and complete conman.

I dont want to lose my friends from my ward. On wednesday I went to our playgroup and I had nothing whatsoever to say to them. I couldnt think about anything but lies. Those poor people who have no flippin clue! I don't know how Im going to be able to keep my mouth shut. Last night my friend Jo, who I shared all this with two days ago and now she no longer believes as well, we hung out together with our TBM (look at that, the lingo is already catching, lol). I was telling her about how I have great intuition most times and she said its because I have the gift of the holy ghost. I had to bite my tongue so hard. I know what will happen if I open my mouth to these people. I know how they all reacted to my in laws leaving our ward. Everyone talks/gossips. I know they just care about them but I do not want to be the talk of the ward. I dont want people to tell me that Ive become gullible to the untruths and the anti church poison on the internet. I am no good at stating my case or arguing a point and I dont want to be put into that position when questioned about why I feel the way I do. It has nothing to do with FEELING at all!! Honestly, I have not prayed to know if what I have read online about the church is true or not. I dont need to. Its not something you have to base on faith. These arguments against Joseph Smith and the BoM are hard evidence and they have no chance to win. But to them, I will have "lost my faith. Failed." etc. I wish the whole ward would learn all of these truths about the church and form a new one. That way we would have a big support group to lean on each other and figure out what is true and what is not about the teachings. I dont even know what to believe. What is right or wrong. Im totally lost. I think I need to just go back to the very basics. Not the basics of the mormon church of course, that would get me no where. I need to just read the new testament to get an understand of Jesus Christ.
I have a question too, besides my ranting. I have been reading recently "Believing Christ" which you probably know is a church based book. But has anyone looked at it and thought its still ok to read and believe what it says? Its been one of the best I have read that helps me to understand the atonement. Let me know what you think about that book.
Thanks for listening if you have gotten this far.

PS. I feel like Im living a second life keeping this fromy my husband. Being so secrative coming on here etc. Makes me feel bad but I still dont feel I have enough guts to bring it all up yet. Well maybe not guts but I need to really learn and be able to share the real truth without faltering in it.

What you are feeling is perfectly normal, including feeling guilty. You have had a paradigm shift inside yourself, which is your own personal space, and it's a shocker.

It's totally fine to keep this big change to yourself while you get used to it, process your anger, etc. If you share too soon, you will definitely alienate your friends. They tend to take it personally, they did something, said something or didn't say something that made you lose your testimony.

Experience has taught us that being vague about struggling is the best approach. It is a good response to memorize, especially if arguing religious points on the spot is not your strong point. Here's some examples

Q - Where were you last Sunday, we missed you in XXXX?
A - I am struggling with my testimony, so I stayed home.
Q - That's the very time when you need it the most!
A - You may be right.

Q - Will you accept a calling as Relief Society President?
A - No, I am struggling with my testimony, so I just can't right now.
Q - That's when you should double down with your callings.
A - You may be right.

Q - This doesn't look like a full tithing, could you bring in your paycheck stub for last month?
A - No, I am struggling with my testimony, so I can't.
Q - Why can't you?
A - Because I am working some things out.
Q - What things?
A - You would have to go to Mormonthink.com and check out The First Vision to be able to talk about this with me. Are you willing to do that?
Q - No.


This should get you by in virtually every situation until you are ready for the Big Reveal.

Best

Anagrammy

Angelcowgirl,
Man thats got to be tough with your husband. That would cause huge problems here. I cant only imagine how miserable that must be. Thanks for reminding me about meetup! I used it one time and went to a book club. That specific one wasnt for me, reading material wasnt in my interest. But I wil definitely check it out again!!

Wolfsbane, its nice to see other newbies on here! The whole thing really takes over your head. Its just so mind boggling how mislead we have been and what a peice of junk Joseph smith was. Some things a read today were pretty laughable. Like Him stumbling upon a mound of rocks claiming it to be the alter Adam made 6,000 in Missouri. LOL Its seriously hilarious to me. I dont think I ever believed about Missouri being where the garden of eden was. It was one of those things put on my shelf. Another was becoming gods. Actually I remember learnnig about it for the first time, after I was baptised. It was like HUH?!What the heck are you talking about? I put it on my shelf immediately. lol Seems like your wife loves and trusts your judgement on the issue. Im glad she is coming around. I hope my husband will be the same way. If not, he will be the only member left in his immediate family (including his parents, brother and sister) and they were all raised in the church. That wwould be hard for him to not start digging as well.

Twojedis,
I have asked my inlaws where they stand with the bible and jesus and god etc. They still believe in them. In fact at easter he said a blessing on the food and it surprised me. It sounded just the same as it always had, which was comforting.

jesuswantsme4asucker,
I know what you mean about arguing with a TBM, I used to be one of them! ha! I used to look up stuff on yahoo answers, in fact just last week, just so I could defend the church. It all seems so silly now.

anagrammy,
Thanks for those tips. I will definitely use them. That is an excelent way I could bring it up to my husband too. Instead of just saying I found a bunch of junk, I dont believe anymore (lol), I could say Im struggling with my testimony, really really struggling. And then I could tell him what Ive learned and that it was on the church website too, not just anti sites, and I could ask him what he thinks about it.

cokeisoknowdrinker,
Ive considered just staying in the church as long as i can handle it, but it feels so conflicting because of my kids. They are all in primary (one is in nursery, I have 4 boys..) and they really focus so much on I thank thee oh god for a prophet, lol, and everything that is not true! I do of course like the principles they learn there but I dont want them to grow up and ask me how I could keep letting them think its all true. They would be so hurt. Maybe I could phase out and start looking for another church, maybe non demonimational that has a good primary type program for the kids. The only thing is with that is a lot of people from those kind of churches pray to Jesus instead of God and that bugs me. You know, the whole teaching that God is Jesus, Jesus is God, blah blah. I just dont agree with that at all.

rationalguy,
Wow, I dont know how you do it! Anytime I have a secret, its soooo hard to not say something. Maybe you will get lucky and she will find out on her own.

jiminycricket,
I found a great quote today that totally fits with what you are talking about and I used it as my facebook status, lol. I want people to ask me whats wrong so I can tell them. lol sneaky. dropping little hints. anyway the quote is: "If we have the truth, it cannot be harmed by investigation. If we have not the truth, it ought to be harmed." J. Reuben Clark
Its pretty fitting and I find it amusing because this guy was aparently was in the first presidency and hes saying exactly the opposite of what they want us to do now. I will definitely check out your link. Oh and Im the same way, I cant stay away from the computer, staying up way too late. Like yesterday morning I got 3 hours of sleep. fun.

If I missed anyone, sorry. I do really appreciate all comments!

Arguing witha TBM is exactly like arguing with a bird that has learned a few words. You can share the most eloquent, well thought out argument based on proven science and a hard fact and all you will get back is the TBM version of "polly wants a cracker" (I know the church is true). I totally went through what you are going through. The anger and frustration took me a while to get past and I find I have to limit my exposure to TBM's because talking about the church with a TBM always puts me in a spot I hate. I either am honest and I totally offend them or I just smile and nod and want to wring their neck on the inside.

Thats tough about your husband. I was just upfront with my wife and luckily for me she followed me out. I would be "gently" honest with him about your disbelief. Share details if he asks but otherwise just let him know you are no longer a believer but you are happy to still support him in his own beliefs.

If there is a group of people that can understand, it's us. We've all been there.

My first week I was up till 5 a.m. every night reading and just completely floored.

Hey weepingwillow.

I'm going through the anger phase that appears to be about to start for you.

I'm not married so I guess I can't relate on that level, but I am surrounded by family members and friends who are still very much in the mormon "bubble."

I hope that someday I will get to a point where I can adopt a "live-and-let-live" attitude and just co-exist with them. But for now I'm experiencing the anger that you talk about. It's hard for me to be around them when they talk about the church and not want to scream at them.

I don't know exactly how to go forward either. We are human we need a support system of supportive people to survive. To find out that you suddenly don't share the same belief system as those around you is very debilitating.

Know that it will get better. It is always better to seek the truth and be honest instead of covering it up to not make waves. Know that it takes a long time to work through this stuff. If possible, have patience with yourself. Know that you've entered into a turbulent period, but that in the long run it will only lead to a happier, more fulfilling life.

For what it's worth. Good luck.

I'm still keeping the depth of my apostasy from DW, who is still TBM. She knows I've gone inactive but I don't act anti around her, just disinterested. We are empty nesters, so it's a bit easier but "mixed marriages" of exmo/TBMs is tough. I sympathize.

Oh, man. I remember all the stages. It wasn't that long ago either. Gratefully for me, the anger stages was a short-lived one, although it surfaces whenever I hear stories of unfair treatment of ex-Mos or people who are simply questioning.

You go through a stage where you want to shout to the world, "Oh my gosh! Look what I found. You have to know this stuff." You want to save all of your friends.

But you soon sadly realize that they don't want to be saved. Some would even be happier as Mormons, even if they knew the truth.

One has to be ready to hear the truth. Truth must come to be more important to them than needing the Church to be true.

I haven't read that book. I thought I would never lose my faith in God and Christ, but the longer I'm out, the more I realized that the story of Christ is likely not literally true either. I can't even imagine a God who is all powerful, and yet unable to give us, so he has to send his son to be slaughtered. If there is a God, I would accept only an all powerful, loving God, who would have no need to sacrifice his son. I don't claim to know anything as a fact, but I think a lot about these things and what does and does not make sense. Everyone finds the right end point, but everyone is different. There's no right or wrong way to leave, or place to end up when you do leave.

Where do your in-laws stand on the issue of God and Christ? Have you talked to them about it? I basically reject anything written by the church or its leaders since the church is demonstrably false.

I was exactly where you are now about 6 weeks ago. I'm still a noob :) At first it was shock and disbelief, then intense anger and hatred. I still have lots of negative emotions and doubt they will ever totally go away. I'm still 100% obsessed with it all. It's all I can think about 24/7. It keeps me up at night. It's all I think about at work. It's a nightmare.

I just found out my entire life's work has been for nothing. So many wasted hours in pointless Sunday meetings, temple sessions, reading false/mam-made scriptures, 2 years sucked out of my life for a mission...the list goes on and on.

After about 2 weeks I couldn't take it anymore and came clean with my wife. it was to much for her to handle and she just went to bed. A couple days later we talked about it again and luckily she was open minded and mentioned that she also had never received answers to her prayers concerning the truth of the BOM. She confessed that for years the church had been making her very unhappy and she had been doubting for a while, at least on a subconscious level.

We have been taking it slow but she is opening up more and hasn't been to church in a month. She has not read anything on Mormonthink yet or this site, but she is pretty sure she never wants to go back to church. I am so lucky to have such an open minded wife. I read all the horror stories of divorce on here and feel terrible for those people. I hope you have a loving and open minded husband that will follow your pursuit of truth.

When only one spouse doubts and other still believes then that causes a lot of animosity in the marriage. I am happy that you are not going through that.

I know exactly what you mean, and even though it's been a few years for me, I regularly cycle back around through anger, depression, etc. I have a TBM husband, kids, parents, and huge amount of extended family who all live nearby. It is much harder for those of us who can't distance ourselves from the cult. It takes longer to work through it when we are continually exposed to it and the constant judging, indoctrination, lovebombing, etc. I'll think I am at a good point and then somebody will say something and Wham! I feel like I'm right back where I started.

I am still learning things about the church that I didn't know (the toad story was a new one for me!!!)

Some here have been lucky when they approached their spouses. Some have not been. I am one of the unlucky ones. My husband freaked out so badly that he literally stormed out of the room and refused to listed to a single word. To this day, he leaves if he thinks I'm about to try to say anything even remotely "negative" about his precious church.

I've also lost some friends, but it just means they weren't really my friends anyway. I've gained some new ones that have shown me what REAL friendship is.

Keep researching and keep posting. Vent-- let it out. It's totally normal and healthy after what we've been through. I also recommend finding a group near you with common interests (ie- Meetup has everything from book and cooking clubs to wine tasting groups and more...) Great way to make new friends IRL! And we are here for you too.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/12/2013 05:08PM by AngelCowgirl.

just a thought

For what it's worth I would consider keeping my big toe in and tolerate the tscc as long as you want. It's up to you.
You can affect more people that way than being totally out and ostracized by freinds and ward members.You might be able to drop some subtle truths along the way to help free someone else.
just a thought

Weepingwillow:

I am so full of support and understanding - what shock you are experiencing! I found the information on the internet last December. I'd stay up till 3 or 4am listening to podcasts etc. I spent at least 10 hours/day in my spare time for 90 straight days - obsessed with learning more. The more one learns the more the ENTIRE LDS story taught by the General Authorities, Church Education System, missionaries etc. becomes completely riddled with problem after problem. In short you'll soon be asking yourself, "is there any thing Joseph Smith did that isn't mucked up with tons of issues?" He didn't get the first vision recorded honestly, or the priesthood restoration, or the name of the church on the first two tries, or the angel Moroni/Nephi narrative, or the BOM story and trying to sell the copyright in Canada to make money, or the Book of Abraham, and on and on. The answers are not fun to hear, accept or discover. It hits like a BOMB. That is why The GAs don't want us to look. They loose their power and authority over you and I - discredited in seconds - only a mouse click away.

Think about it logically - the true God of Heaven reveals his true Gospel in this dispensation to his one true prophet - and 180 years later we are told by the likes of Boyd K Packer NOT TO LOOK or study the beauty of God's true revelatory process. How in God's name could He have been so stupid!

But remember, the truth will set you free. It's not a pretty sight or feeling to experience. Learning the truth is a process. After several weeks of my discovery, and going through so many emotional upheavals, I ran across a podcast by John Dehlin documenting the mental process. In my case he was spot-on.

Look at it and know you are normal, real, loved by all on this board, and have to mentally go through a de-programming of the massive institutionalized misrepresentations of the church. It takes time. Vent often - we are here to help. Hugs.

Video from MormonStories, "Why People Leave the LDS Church"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZQJc5SxnVs

Angelcowgirl,
Man thats got to be tough with your husband. That would cause huge problems here. I cant only imagine how miserable that must be. Thanks for reminding me about meetup! I used it one time and went to a book club. That specific one wasnt for me, reading material wasnt in my interest. But I wil definitely check it out again!!

Wolfsbane, its nice to see other newbies on here! The whole thing really takes over your head. Its just so mind boggling how mislead we have been and what a peice of junk Joseph smith was. Some things a read today were pretty laughable. Like Him stumbling upon a mound of rocks claiming it to be the alter Adam made 6,000 in Missouri. LOL Its seriously hilarious to me. I dont think I ever believed about Missouri being where the garden of eden was. It was one of those things put on my shelf. Another was becoming gods. Actually I remember learnnig about it for the first time, after I was baptised. It was like HUH?!What the heck are you talking about? I put it on my shelf immediately. lol Seems like your wife loves and trusts your judgement on the issue. Im glad she is coming around. I hope my husband will be the same way. If not, he will be the only member left in his immediate family (including his parents, brother and sister) and they were all raised in the church. That wwould be hard for him to not start digging as well.

Twojedis,
I have asked my inlaws where they stand with the bible and jesus and god etc. They still believe in them. In fact at easter he said a blessing on the food and it surprised me. It sounded just the same as it always had, which was comforting.

jesuswantsme4asucker,
I know what you mean about arguing with a TBM, I used to be one of them! ha! I used to look up stuff on yahoo answers, in fact just last week, just so I could defend the church. It all seems so silly now.

anagrammy,
Thanks for those tips. I will definitely use them. That is an excelent way I could bring it up to my husband too. Instead of just saying I found a bunch of junk, I dont believe anymore (lol), I could say Im struggling with my testimony, really really struggling. And then I could tell him what Ive learned and that it was on the church website too, not just anti sites, and I could ask him what he thinks about it.

cokeisoknowdrinker,
Ive considered just staying in the church as long as i can handle it, but it feels so conflicting because of my kids. They are all in primary (one is in nursery, I have 4 boys..) and they really focus so much on I thank thee oh god for a prophet, lol, and everything that is not true! I do of course like the principles they learn there but I dont want them to grow up and ask me how I could keep letting them think its all true. They would be so hurt. Maybe I could phase out and start looking for another church, maybe non demonimational that has a good primary type program for the kids. The only thing is with that is a lot of people from those kind of churches pray to Jesus instead of God and that bugs me. You know, the whole teaching that God is Jesus, Jesus is God, blah blah. I just dont agree with that at all.

rationalguy,
Wow, I dont know how you do it! Anytime I have a secret, its soooo hard to not say something. Maybe you will get lucky and she will find out on her own.

jiminycricket,
I found a great quote today that totally fits with what you are talking about and I used it as my facebook status, lol. I want people to ask me whats wrong so I can tell them. lol sneaky. dropping little hints. anyway the quote is: "If we have the truth, it cannot be harmed by investigation. If we have not the truth, it ought to be harmed." J. Reuben Clark
Its pretty fitting. He was apparently and general authority and says to do exactly opposite of what they teach no it seems.

If I missed anyone, sorry. I do really appreciate all comments!

Thanks rodolfo,
Its too bad there is no easy fix. Thank you for the insight. Its much appreciated.

It's crazy how just a few months ago I revered Joseph Smith as a Prophet, Seer and Revelator. I thought he was the greatest Prophet of all time and had done more for the salvation of humankind than anyone else except Jesus Christ. Now, just a few weeks later I consider him nothing more than a low-life con man and pedophile. It's crazy the effects that knowledge and truth can have on your belief system.

I seriously thought everyone I knew would want to know the truth. I told my 2 best friends who are also life long TBM. They just told me it was all lies and I had been deceived. I told them I had hard evidence but it just fell on deaf ears. It's so frustrating to know the truth and yet nobody around you wants to hear it.

Many <<<HUGS>>> to you weepingwillow!

Please believe me that we have been in exactly your same place!

Not that long ago I remember the terror when the awful, undeniable conclusion began to take shape in my mind that the church is entirely false from A to Z. I, too, spent weeks and months huddled in secret with numerous books, my smartphone open to FAIR, and two laptops open on other sites, comparing and double-checking references and confirming facts. I, too, was eventually caught in a rabbit-hole of emotions and fears as the implications of the truth began to emerge.

You have a frightening and exhilarating roller coaster ride before you and the only thing I hope you will hear from me at the moment is that it gets MUCH better and eventually your mind will heal from the cult-think it is suffering with now.

Please give yourself time, time and more time. When you are feeling like you want to scream at every mormon you know, don't. Come here instead.

When you want to rant to every mormon family member, don't. Come here instead.

There is value to taking the time you need to fully come into a balanced place. You have friends here that are wise and experienced. You will be benefited from a lifeline or two on your journey.

I look forward to hearing your story and reading how things progress. Thanks for posting.

In order to actually be able to talk to the moms (must be moms, right?) in the play group, come primed with some "wholesome" topics of interest to other parents. It might be some interesting things about fitness, some factoid about a crazy celebrity, has Marie Osmond really had lipo, what to do when your child does X, a fabulous recipe you tried out, a laundry problem, a place you would love to go on vacation if only you could, etc. When you get tired of the gossip, you can whip out one of your fascinating topics.

If you're prepared, you can derail conversations you'd rather not have.

Good luck with your journey of discovery. No matter how things go with your husband many of us will have experienced a similar path so you won't be alone no matter what happens.

As you start to consider talking to him some words of advice:
- Don't make the first couple/few conversions about why you don't believe. The time may come for those types of conversations, but the first couple of days is the wrong timing. (Unless you get a huge surprise that he has doubts and is open to it - which sounds very unlikely in your case.)

- Do expect respect for your right to be believe what you believe.

- Do spend the time focusing on the relationship and reassurance that you still love him and want to make the marriage work.

I am one of those whose spouse and children continues to believe. Yes, it is a challenging path times. However, even with those challenges I would never go back.

Along with some social difficulties you are aware of there is also much good to look forward to. You are on the beginning of a wonderful journey of discovering how much sweeter life is without the many chains of the LDS church.

You will be amazed at the ways it has held you back - mostly emotionally and mentally. Letting go off the guilt conditioning the endless should lists, the imposed inferiority complex of never being good enough are all wonderful things and even if there are some significant familial challenges you have a better life ahead than you imagined possible within the gloomy, shallow life of Mormonism.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/12/2013 06:39PM by The Oncoming Storm - bc.

Reading your what you are experiencing takes me back to my awakening. I remember being at an RS enrichment meeting and I felt like everything around me was in a fog, the sisters were in a fog and I was in a clearing. I remember listening to the mormon talk, such predictable conversations. I too kept my newly found information from my husband, he was bishop at the time and I had no clue how to approach him.

It is so interesting to read what others experience as they learn their belief system is/was a complete fabrication, the stories and feelings are so similar. You are not alone and your experience is shared and very familiar. The rollercoaster ride will have less ups and downs, but I find I am still on the ride. I don't debate well either, so I mostly don't say much to anyone. My husband accepts our situation. He respects my inactivity and I respect his activity and we never talk church, that works for us.

Wolfsbane,
That makes me laugh, about wanting to tell everyone about it. I feel the same though. Its so hard to keep it to yourself. Its like OMG!!!! Guess what I just found out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I also feel hesitant because you don really want to "ruin their life".

Thanks rodolfo,
Its too bad there is no easy fix. Thank you for the insight. Its much appreciated.

jiminycricket,
Im watching the link right now and I dont see how this guy is still a TBM. Maybe hes just fooling all members to try to watch it and then they are introduced to a big group of problems. hmmmm

The oncoming storm,
Thanks for your insight. I will use that advise when approaching my husband. I look forward to feeling the chains releasing me. Like you said, I really have no idea what chains because Im still feeling it, but I do still look forward to it. Is it terrible of me for thinking "Now I can drink!!!" lol I feel like its still wrong :/

Try not to spend too much time in your head, so to speak. You're still the same person, they're still the same people. Surely, you have more in common with your friends than shared religion. Try and stick with all of the other things you normally discuss. They're not looking to be de-converted, and you shouldn't be looking to de-convert--unless they come to you and actively ask where you stand and why.

There are ways to have open, active discussions with friends--even TBM friends--that isn't combative, accusatory, or angry. If you decide to leave, just let your friends know you're taking a break for an unspecifie amount of time. You don't need to make any rash, final decisions right now.

I've seen people lose friends unnecessarily because of issues like this. Converesely, I've seen an entire family leave and remain completely integrated with their former ward members because they're respectful, and the members are respectful of their new belief system.

I actually like that book. I feel like it's full of hope, rather than damnation, or the feeling that you're not good enough. If the book resonates with you, keep it. No need to throw the baby out with the bath water if you have something that works for you.

When the truth comes out, there are two kinds of Mormons. Those who bury their heads in the sand, stick their fingers in their ears and refuse to hear the truth. The other kind of Mormon cannot stop listening and learning until they uncover every last drop of the truth. Those are the people who stay up til 3:00 a.m. researching, reading, discussing the truth. Those are the ones with the courage and the integrity to face what is real, not bury their heads in fantasy. They can't understand why EVERY Mormon doesn't want to get to the truth of the matter. I was the same way. I HAD to know the truth, no matter the cost, no matter if it shook my marriage and I lost my friends and had to rewrite my life in my 40s. But I think it's the only sort of person to be.

CA girl:
You are so right on. Good advice here!

Congrats on finding the truth - the real truth, that is. Hang in there, it does get better, but, you are in for some tough times, as you've heard from others. There are TBM's who will often go to any lengths to avoid acknowledging the truth about TSCC, that group won't be helpful at all.

Knowing that you are finally starting to deal with reality is great, just be prepared that there are still some tough times ahead, both with TBM family and friends, and with yourself as you discover the way TSCC has warped your thinking for so long.

All the best! This is a good place to come for support and suggestions from many who have been in the same place.

Rodolfo - Your advice is perfect, and spot on ! ! ! ! !

Weepingwillow: It does get MUCH easier - but you must VENT and talk with those who sympathize, not active TBM's. You'll be met with the exact attitude that we all use to dish out.

If you have been to the Temple there is a section at the end of Lucifer's curtain call - THE DEVIL - he looks into the camera and tells everyone: If you don't live up to all your covenants you've made this day YOU'LL BE IN MY POWER. In reality this is scare tactics woven into the thread of an "inspired LDS ritual" used to control you and it transcends into everyone's attitude at church. If you peak and read the wrong thing its JUDGEMENT DAY from the bowels of their souls with daggers drawn at you. Its the "devil has got you syndrome" and it prevails constantly. It's not God. It's not love. They want to make you feel guilty for using your free agency. Remember: who was it in the pre-existence that wanted to take it away and FORCE you to do it his way? (if that doctrine is really true.)

At least I have some family members who are no longer TBM and I've spent hours regurgitating my new knowledge of the big hoax. But still, after going down a verbal path with one of my allies, I am still ready to EXPLODE with HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED TO ME - MY PARENTS - MY GRAND PARENTS. Now 100's and 100's of Mormon relatives have been brainwashed and so many are just stuck in the LDS narrative.

God help you! We will too!

Again, hugs.

Weepingwillow it's really fun to read about your progress and also that you were able to convert a friend! I was able to convert my own wife, was much easier than I thought. She was already secretly doubting though. I look forward to your future posts!

I was floored too! The whole church is made up! Blew me away. The keystone of Mormonism is 19th century fiction.

I am laughing one minute crying the next. So funny I believed it all and then the tears it's not true. And then my rational mind give me my tithing back I gave it to help to poor and not to build a shopping center. If you are in TX we should meet and talk about our hard core online findings.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/12/2013 09:53PM by subeam.

One word I have come to hate is "truth". TBMs think they have it, and then exmo's think they have it, and everyone is trying to convert the other to "the truth".

Weird, really. People can squabble endlessly over "the truth".

I finally came to realize it doesn't matter if the church is true.

If it is true, and you don't like doing church stuff, why would you want to be faithful and be punished doing that stuff for eternity?

If it isn't true, but you enjoy playing church, why not do it? Does football have to be true?

If I say I like cherry pie better than apple, how can someone argue that I am wrong, and apple pie is the true flavor? Likewise, why should everyone prefer the celestial world to the terrestrial or telestial? Are those living in trailer parks or suburbia wrong? Should we beg them to all live in mansions?

I have found that it is harder for people to argue with me when I say I just don't like sitting in church hearing the same thing over and over, and I don't like missionary and temple work and home teaching, and I don't want to do polygamy and I don't want to live where the streets are paved with gold.

If I prefer to stay home and garden, why wouldn't god be okay with that? I would want my children to do what they love, not spend eternity praising my name.

I like a lot of what you are saying with your approach.

However, even if it doesn't matter if the church is true, it does matter if it is harmful.

I submit that it is a harmful, hurtful, controlling organization. It actively spends significant money and resources to discriminate against gays and women. It has a long history of racism.

It creates a cycle of abuse where the abused become the abusers.

The truthfulness of the church may not matter. They harm it causes does matter. There are certainly reasons someone may stay involved for family reasons, and there is nothing wrong with attending for a time as you figure things out.

However, I disagree that hey its cool to go if you enjoy it - the same could be said for the KKK or al queda.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/12/2013 10:29PM by The Oncoming Storm - bc.

OK, first of all, football IS true.

But I see your point. When I was a vegetarian, I got tired of people telling me not to worry about animal rights or how it wasn't necessarily healthier than eating meat or whatever moral argument they had for eating animal flesh. So when asked why I was a vegetarian, I would reply "I don't like the taste." No one could argue with that and at the time, it was true enough. Same goes for Mormonism. If you don't like the taste, don't partake. Or, as I like to say "the church might be true for you but it isn't true for me."

Yeah, I am a noob too. I am past the initial shock, the sickness, the anger, the I need to crusade against the morg to just Now what do I do/who do I go to/and what's my future? It's all part of the process since you have chosen the red pill.