So, there is a God because he blesses me! My wife, a former TBM and increasingly quite the doubter is finally beginning to really enjoy sex. It is great. Anyway, she recently admitted that even she masturbated when she was a teenager, although not that often. Now any man who says he did not do it, I deem a liar. My wife, however, grew up in a very active mormon rural community, she has never had alcohol, and is about as straight-laced as they come. But even she masturbated. Clearly even women do this a lot. Is that true that pretty much all women at some point in adolescence do this? If so, it clearly shows how controlling and manipulative such inquiries are from church leaders.

Not all, but a good portion of all women have masturbated at some point in their lives, even if they had no idea what they were doing.

Itzpapalotl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Not all, but a good portion of all women have
> masturbated at some point in their lives, even if
> they had no idea what they were doing.

Excellent---and accurate---response, Itzpapalotl.

You shouldn't be sorry for asking a question.

No, you should not.

All right listen dawg...I am not lieing. I have produced 8 chilluns. This hunk of man flesh did not M before the age of 40, and it's because of the doctrine. Why would I lie? I realize I can't spell, but why would I lie?

It is not uncommon for both men and women to start as children before they even know what it is, let alone that it is "wrong." Trust me on this. Then in some interview they get asked if the "masturbate" and they don't even know what the word means. It is often the case that girls aren't asked, especially very straight-laced girls. I was never ever asked. I didn't know it was wrong for a long time. By that time I had read a lot of medical books that taught that it wasn't wrong. Most of the church information was directed toward boys and men. Very confusing. I wasn't going to ask.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/28/2014 06:06PM by The other Sofia.

^^^ This exactly.

I didn't even know what it meant when my bishop first asked me if I was masturbating so I said no. When I eventually figured out what it meant and that it was "wrong" I said to myself "ooooh, yeah I've been doing that for a while now, it's a sin???"

Then one of my p-hood teachers, who was also a seminary teacher, kept pleading one Sunday afternoon with us Aaronic priesthood holders to quit "abusing ourselves". Took me a little bit to figure out wtf he was talking about. Once I did I thought "abuse? But myself rather likes it"

The church is such a mind f-ck, I'm glad I took the red pill.

I think it is possible that some people never masterbated. I, however did as a young girl. I didn't really know what I was doing at first. I knew it was sexually arousing. I started young, because I can remember thinking that I had to make sure I stopped doing it before I started my period, or I might get pregnant! hahah. Yes the church made me hate myself because of it. for some reason I set two weeks as my goal for going without it. I don't think I ever made it the full two weeks, until my mission. I did go a full 3 months then. that was the longest. Now days I don't think I have nearly half the sex drive that I used to. :( I'm only 35.

I know a very conservative Christian young mom who admitted that she never had and never wanted to. She even said that she didn't think she'd actually had an orgasm, but didn't want to try because it was sex and sex was only supposed to be with her husband. Poor thing.

I'm female and I didn't masterbate until I had been married a few years. Pretty sad because I didn't know my own anatomy and didn't orgasm until I learned.

^^ Me too - exactly this. I did not grow up LDS, or even conservative christian. I just really didn't know girls did that.

Lol..I did a lot before I knew what it was...never stopped because nobody asked me! Now...I'm 40 and I wonder if there's something wrong with me, or I just overused my "clicker" because it doesn't work like it used too!!! Maybe I'm just old now!! At least it was fun while it lasted!!

Before I got out of the church it seemed that the morg had taken more of a dont ask dont tell approach to masturbation. In fact I really do believe that a good share of my bishops dreaded having to ask the question in youth interviews and it seemed to be asked less as I got older. The church has had a long standing practice of suppressing both male and female sexuality.

This subject of female masturbation is not generally talked about within the mormon sphere. Yes, preteen females have the same urges as preteen males.This is nothing new, except the bishop that gained more detail than he thought he would..from a miamaid within the ward..mind boggling..I know. Female sexuality develops just as males..

I did -- at a very young age before I knew what it was -- before I'd even converted. I started maybe around 9 or 10? I don't remember hearing the church leaders banging the don't masturbate drum much and even if I did, I'm sure I ignored it because how were these people going to know what I did in my bedroom at night with the door closed and the lights off? In one ear and out the other.

I'd say, for girls, it's probably more like 50-60% than with boys, where it's more like 90-100%. Often, it doesn't start until we're older and that could mean into your 20s or 30s even.

If you get a chance, watch the movie, Hysteria.

It is pretty well done and addresses your question. It is true that victorian doctors used to treat hysteria in women in this way.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1435513/

I started as a little girl around the age of 4. had no idea what I was doing. Just knew it felt good and that my family wouldn't approve so I didn't ever do it in front of them. Don't know how regularly I did it, but around the age of 11 or 12 I was a at a friend's house and she had a sex education book for girls and in there I learned the name for what I was doing was "masturbation." I was born and raised a TBM, so I felt so guilty and dirty. I was able to stop 100% but even after stopping for a couple years, the guilt consumed me and I went and talked to my bishop. He was a great guy and told me the Lord had already forgiven me and that I needed to forgive myself. Felt a lot better after that. But, I always felt like I was the only girl in the world who does this until my best friend, who was catholic, said she did it.

I had my first orgasm at 5 by pressing my legs together, Didn't figure out the hand technique until I was 12. Masturbated nearly every night.

I did so long before I had ever heard of the word masturbation. Still do occasionally, though not that often.


So, is my nose suppose to fall off my face or something?

BTW, I'm a female BIC (though I have never lived anywhere near the Morridor).


And at no time in my life do I ever remember being asked if I masturbated. I wouldn't have told my bishop if I had been asked, but the fact of the matter is that I was never asked.

I was raised as a Catholic, and my conservative Catholic mother told me that it was normal for men to do it....but women who did it were filthy, sex-hungry wh()res. (Her words, not mine.)

Interestingly, this conservative Catholic mother of mine had six children by five different fathers. Three of us were out of wedlock, all six of us were born and fed on the welfare dime. (She bragged that I was conceived on a church-donated mattress.)

I think masturbation would have done her some good.

I had so deeply internalized her messages, that I wouldn't even look at myself, let alone touch, until college.

In college, years before I converted to Mormonism, I lost my virginity. I looked at the first guy I slept with (kind of a loser, but not as bad as my mother's men), then thought about my mother and all the worthless pieces of sh!t she allowed herself to sleep with...and even have children by.

Then I thought, "why am I afraid to touch myself, but just put myself at risk for pregnancy and disease by sleeping with a guy?"

Then I bought a vibrator...and buzzed through college, grad school, and through the LDS church.

During my baptismal interview, I was never asked about masturbation...maybe because the young man who interviewed me felt uncomfortable asking a woman only a few years older than him such questions.

When a bishop did ask me, I stood up, and said "The only three men who can ask me those kinds of questions are my therapist, my gynecologist, and my future husband!"

And I walked out of the room. That was the beginning of the end of my Mormon existence.

> When a bishop did ask me, I stood up, and said
> "The only three men who can ask me those kinds of
> questions are my therapist, my gynecologist, and
> my future husband!"


That's a part of the problem. Most of those "in authority" who do ask interviewees are convinced that they have been given a special form of Authority (with a capital "A") from God to ask. Some kind of special dispensation to intrude, in the most personal of ways, into others' lives.

Very unhealthy dynamics are let loose in such attitudes.

Women don't get blue balls, so I doubt many do it a lot.
Ladies, what is blue balls? Okay, that is when a guy has semen in his ball sack, and it just lays in there, and it starts to "turn" like milk in the hot sun. Don't release it, and it starts to HURT. Kind of like cramps, but 10 trillion times worse. That's WHY guys spank it.

Blue clit. The clitoris engorges with blood and we get a nasty, dull ache that takes waaay to long to dissippate if there's no release. It's just as uncomfortable as blue balls.

I don't think you can compare menstrual cramps to blue balls, especially when so many women have deal with issues like PCOS, endometriosis, dysmenorrhea, fibroids...and you deal with cramps for more than an hour and/or a day. FYI, ladies, double clicking the mouse helps with cramps to some degree.

So, yeah, definitely flog your bishop, but please understand that women deal with something similar to blue balls as well.

RE: Blue Balls. Please believe me when I say that there is no such thing. Given that this is a term used predominantly by adolescents, it is more likely that that the "ache" is a form of priapism (a persistent and painful erection of the penis). Since adolescent males are usually erect from the greeting "hello", after two or three hours of making out, (and the girl saying no) it can get a little achy down there. Trust me, it is neither terminal, nor will it cause any lasting or permanent effects. If he says that he is getting "blue ball" and you do not intend to have sex with him, be it vaginal, oral, or manual, then ladies... It is time to say goodnight. Leave, or let him go home. Some time without an erection will clear the problem right up.

And women and men get it when there's not sexual release, but not all experience it. Blue balls and blue clit are simply euphemisms.

No sweetie. We get just as desperate for orgasm. I feel bad for any woman you have sex with.

As a youth, I would define myself as South Utah County mormon, very sheltered and naive, hypersexual, curious young woman, but I had no idea how to touch myself/bring myself to orgasm until I was 20. At that time, I watched my first porn and basically mimicked what I saw (masturbation). Whoa. It was like fireworks on the 4th of July!!! I honestly didn't have any idea about masturbation up to that point. My girlfriends/sisters never spoke of it... Nothing. As I said before, I was hypersexual and curious, losing my virginity when I was 18, but even so, unfortunately I never had a guy even try to "help me" when intimate or ask me if he could "please" me in that regard, mormon or non mormon.

This is TMI, but the only way I can orgasm is by oral sex/masturbation, so it's kind of a big deal to me!
The Bishops never asked, as I was inactive by the time I even knew how to dial 1-800-GODDESS.

I never did and I did not grow up Mormon.i didn't have my first O until I was married and got a vibrator....

I did, but didn't know how, so it wasn't fulfilling, ya'know? And I never had an orgasm with my first husband, so, before I married husband #2, I told him I needed to confess something to him--that I was "frigid," which is the word that was used then to describe a pre-orgasmic woman. He laughed so suddenly and so hard that hot tea spurted out of his nose and he choked. I was insulted, and said, "It's not funny!" He hugged me and said, "Sweetheart, it's not true." I said I had been married 7 years and had slept with 4 other men, and...zip. He kissed me on the end of my nose and said, "You've had a lot of sex, but nobody has ever made love to you. Don't worry. I have held you in my arms and kissed you and felt the way your body reacts to mine, and it's going to be fine." So I decided against "waiting until we are married to have sex" and said I was ready to do it that night. So we did, and wowzer! I had been so wrong, and he was so right that it took him 15 minutes to scrape me off the ceiling with a putty knife afterward. Holy crap! I had never DREAMED of anything so intense. This is why I am glad my kids/grandkids had the information they needed as tweens and young teens about learning about their own bodies and what felt good to them. I was molested at 7, raped at 16, married at 18, had my son at 21, had sex with 4 other men, and met husband #2 at 25, when I finally had my first orgasm. If I had only known! I sometimes think of all the enjoyment I missed--but then again...if I had known all along, I might not ever have met my #2 and had my daughter and my grandkids. So...? I think parents do their sons and daughters a disservice by not introducing them to the pleasures of masturbation. It would prevent a lot of mis-matched marriages, STDs, and pregnancies!

I find it so disturbing (disgusting) that tscc teaches young people that masturbating is a sin. That, in itself, is the sin, IMHO.

Mrs. Boner once confessed to me that she pleasured herself, often, during her mission. It brought release from homesickness.

WhateverJoe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So, there is a God because he blesses me! My
> wife, a former TBM and increasingly quite the
> doubter is finally beginning to really enjoy sex.
> It is great.

When you say this, do you mean she has been open to trying new things?

Blue clit? You made that up. Never heard of it. LOL

Nope. First time I came across it was in a book by Julie Klausner, "I Don't Care About Your Band: Lessons Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated."

I knew about vasocongestion, experienced in more times than I can count, but never really heard any slang for it in regards girls and women. I've heard blue bean now, too, so I encourage other women to come up with their own slang.

As I've said several times, it doesn't mean every women experiences blue bean just as not every man experiences blue balls, but vasocongestion is a very real biological function, but it's NOT deadly (that I know of. There's some weird stuff out there.)

https://www.google.com/#q=blue+clit
https://www.google.com/#q=vasocongestion+in+the+genitals



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2017 10:16AM by Itzpapalotl.

You just think that because society hates talking about female sexuality.

https://www.google.com/amp/elitedaily.com/dating/do-women-get-blue-balls-clit/1321496/amp/?client=ms-android-verizon

Welcome to sex ed- sorry if your uninformed. Young adolescents, male and female have a tendency to masturbate. Those parts are super sensitive and kids figure it out. The guilt factor from their environment decides what is moral and what is not.

I did it all the time. I knew guys did it and the boys were always told not to do it. I thought I was the only girl who did it. I felt evil and that I was a disgusting person. Even now as a single, and ex mormon, when I masterbate, I ocassionally get the guilt. Crazy how deep the conditioning is!

cftexan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I did it all the time.

Yes, that's pretty much normal and natural.


> I felt evil and that I was a disgusting person.

That is NOT normal, nor is it natural. That comes from society's (in general) ignorance; a nasty little hangover from the 19th century, when they genuinely thought masturbation was damaging, physically as well as mentally.

Thankfully, we now live in far better-illuminated times.


> Even now as a single, and ex mormon, when I masterbate, I ocassionally get the guilt.


Sorry to hear that. Sorry always whenever I hear anyone - male or female, young or old - experiences that. We know now, on a rational basis that not only is there no reason to feel that way, but also masturbation has positive benefits.


> Crazy how deep the conditioning is!

Believe me, I know how bad and deep and nasty conditioning can get; and that it can be difficult to get over.

But it does happen.

Be masturbation-positive, if you can be :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2017 04:18PM by quatermass2.

I don't know if my now-ex masturbated before we got married. To me, it didn't matter. I know she masturbated after we got married for two reasons: I walked in on her when she was just finishing up. I thought it was good of her. The second is she used my manhood as her "toy" to masturbate with. I really didn't think of her doing that until just recently. Considering where she is now with TSCC, it is likely she has ran off to the BP and confessed her "sins" of masturbating.

Your "manhood?"

Why can't you just type penis?

You're poking at something here, and I'd like to take it in, but I find euphemisms way too much fun.:)

And penis. Yes, don't be afraid to say penis. Even my tablet had to be trained. It autocorrected first to punishment, then to pends, and then to Pennsylvania.

OK...my penis. Do I get a gold star on my head?

Now a Gentile Wrote:
The second is she
> used my manhood as her "toy" to masturbate with. I
> really didn't think of her doing that until just
> recently.

You mean rubbing your penis against her clitoris? I wouldn't call that masturbation, I would call that sex. You do realize that the majority of women can't have an orgasm from strictly PIV alone? And our clitoris is the main source of an orgasm?

Although researchers now know the clitoris can extend 6 inches internally and that's most likely what is a "vaginal orgasm" and the elusive G-spot.

I should add, that aside from the religious and cultural pressures placed on women, this is a reason so many are not into casual sex. If their mates don't even understand how the female sexual pleasure works, why would some rando guy know how to do it right? It's a waste of time and effort, not to mention the risks. Women can enjoy sex as much as, if not more, than men, but bad sex is at best... a bore. I've done the field research as a highly orgasmic woman with a strong sex drive.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2017 05:28PM by Itzpapalotl.

> Although researchers now know the clitoris can
> extend 6 inches internally and that's most likely
> what is a "vaginal orgasm" and the elusive
> G-spot.


This is interesting - do you by any chance have any links to articles on this?

Thanks :)

http://www.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/
https://mic.com/articles/112172/here-s-what-the-clitoris-actually-is-and-what-it-isn-t
http://bust.com/sex/10347-your-clitoris-is-ginormous-and-internal-and-no-one-knew-that-until-2009.html
http://rawattractionmagazine.com/the-internal-clitoris/
http://boingboing.net/2013/08/12/internal-anatomy-of-the-clitor.html

I don't know that I can link any original research articles since they would be linked to my student account, but look for anything with edu in it. EVERYONE should be reading this information IMNSHO.

I didn't finish my last thought, that the reason the internal part of the clitoris should be discussed and more well known (aside from people should understand anatomy) is because women who underwent brutal FGM as adolescents can sometimes have an orgasm from internal stimulation.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2017 05:59PM by Itzpapalotl.

Didn't take you long to come up with the links, I'm impressed, thanks.

Plus, this was a subject that absolutely fascinated me when the results of the study came out, same thing with female ejaculation. That's not something you're likely to forget where you found it, teehee!

When fetuses are developing, the tissue that develops into a penis is what the clitoris is for women and effectively turns inwards. Men and women really are more similar than different. If you look at anatomical diagrams, you can see the similarities in shape despite the differing placement of the organs.

I've never known a single woman who didn't. Many do it even more than young men. Some women don't know they are doing it because societally we still don't discuss female anatomy as much. Others are taught to be more private or ashamed. But yep. We do it. A lot. I started at 3.

"Sorry a masturbation question for women"

Actually, that's a surprisingly revealing opening line. Masturbation has been a topic openly asked about in this forum on a few ccasions before. The (semi-unwritten) assumption here has been that it applies to males: well, masturbation applies to males according to many LDS attitudes!. Perhaps this is partially as a result of the publication of that poisonous little "To Young Men Only" pamphlet by Packer.

In his opening remarks in that nasty little piece of garbage, Packer states that his remarks could only be addressed to a male audience. This attitude is typical of the "sweet sisters would never do anything as disgusting as masturbating" mentality exhibited in Mormonism and by Packer's likes in the Heirarchy.

Well, the facts indicate otherwise (surprise, surpise!).

The Author Nancy Friday collected together many works on female sexual fantasies and masturbation fantasies. Female masturbation really is not at all 'unusual'.

We shouldn't be at all surprised by such 'revelations' (and I use the word advisedly, given the Mormon context). Masturbation amongst both females and males has been universally observed and documented amongst pretty much all higher-primate species.

In the second decade of the twenty-first century this really shouldn't even be an issue. Masturbation has many documented positive benefits, for both sexes.

And yet, within the LDS world the persecution continues. I can positively *guarantee* that as you read this, some poor Mormon girl, or boy (or, indeed, woman or man), is being shamed by this form of mental abuse.

It's morally unconscionable behaviour from the Hierarchy - but when did that ever worry them!

Finally, on a masturbation-positive note, I have heard very good things about author Betty Dodson's book "Sex For One".

Basically, do it, enjoy it, embrace it.

PS: be good to yourself - buy a vibrator and two sets of rechargeable batteries!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2017 05:46PM by quatermass2.

I didn't, but wish I'd figured it out because I would have satisfied myself a lot more instead of thinking I had to find men to do that for me. I also would not have suffered from vasocongestion nearly as much. The ache and the crampy sensation were real. Sometimes they lasted for days.

Hmm. And they say that asexuals don't exist. I can't relate to any of these sort of urges. I could masturbate, if I wanted to. I've never thought there was anything wrong with it, even when the Church told me there was.

But it would just be something to do. Hmm. I'm bored. Well, I could listen to music. Nah. I could go out and buy some chocolate. Nah. I could masturbate. Nah. Then I guess I'll just take a nap.

When I said, "You made that up," I was just being funny. But in 58 years worth of girl talk with my friends, nothing like that ever came up.

Because people really are pretty clueless about feminine sexuality. I also took into account that you're asexual and you're probably not quite so concerned with some of this stuff.

I've heard women say they had "blue balls" since there wasn't a popular slang for female vasocongestion. After reading the first two books in the Delphi Woman Series, I kinda like the idea of naming it a "blue pearl" as that body part is referred to as The Goddess' Pearl by the protagonists (they're not trashy romance novels). It sounds nicer. ;)

ETA: I'm sure it sounds like I'm obsessed with this issue, but considering I want to go into sexology and sex research, you have to have an above average interest (and mature) in human sexuality. I want people to be better educated about it so we can move past all the ridiculous notions about sexuality that people like to spout as truth.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/18/2017 12:21PM by Itzpapalotl.

Itzpapalotl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I also took into account that
> you're asexual and you're probably not quite so
> concerned with some of this stuff.

Yeah, it's kind of weird living in a world where everyone is obsessed with the subject of something that you just don't get at all and can't relate to. I think it's a normal human function, but it doesn't seem to involve me.

Anyway, carry on. LOL



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/18/2017 12:28PM by Greyfort.

I didn't start masturbating until I was 26 and 3 years into my marriage. I only started because the other women at work were discussing it (and how much they enjoyed it) and so I went home and tried it. I never looked back. Such a natural and pleasurable experience, but I always felt guilty during my next 27 years of marriage because I could find pleasure in that, but not in having sex with my husband. My new husband is also an exmormon and we both find joy and pleasure in masturbating (either alone or together). Damn the church for making people feel guilty about this!

°<===== 0:(^[{*+*}]^):0 =====>°



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/19/2017 01:11AM by readwrite.

Women masturbate as much as men but the lds church doesn't seem to realize that. Seems like all the writing about tying hands to bed and other talks on the subject are directed at men.