Posted by:
outsider
(
)
Date: August 31, 2014 10:36AM
Thank you.
I've buried an infant son. I held him in my arms as he took his final breaths. He was born with inoperable birth defects. His his brain wasn't fully developed. Somewhere around five months, the doctors had picked up something on the ultrasound, which they didn't like, and as the pregnancy progressed, the news got worse and worse.
Sometime before his birth, the medical team called us in and laid out the prognosis. It wasn't good. Until he was born, we wouldn't know if he would have 15 minutes, 15 days, or 15 months.
They asked what we wanted. If things didn't look good, should they do everything modern medical science can provide to prolong his life or let him go quietly?
It was an easy decision. If he were to die, let him die in the arms of those who loved him, rather than under the stark lights and sterile bassinet poked with needles and wrapped in monitors.
The labor was hard. Long. Terrible. They said that a natural delivery can sometime provide an extra push for underdeveloped lungs.
After 20 some hours of labor, my wife when into the delivery room and then underwent another 8 hours of hard pushing. His head was huge because of the fluids and my wife is petite. I've never seen anyone work so hard as what she did.
I was there, watching the monitors and helping encourage her to push at the right moment. The pressure would build, I'd keep her from pushing too soon, she would put everything ounce of energy she had. Then she would gasp for a breath and try again to get the tail end of the contraction. Time and time after time. For eight long hours.
Finally, it was obvious that she was losing strength. The pressure on the monitor wasn't reaching as high. She was losing. I almost got into a shouting match with the doctor for force a C-section. Just then, the head slipped enough they could get the forceps in far enough to help pull.
He was born. They put him on my wife's breast for a few minutes. I held him for a moment and then they rushed him off.
A bit later, they came back with the bad news. He was not for this world. They asked if we wanted to change our minds, but we knew what we wanted.
The doctor himself brought back our first child. A son who looked just like he, even with the long toes.
His little breaths were barely audible. His legs, through capable on providing quite the kick to his mother's bladder lacked the strength to move once outside his safe home.
We had him for three or four hours. We gave him a bath. Clipped a few strands of hair. Sang songs and told him stories. I told him of camping trips and Disney Lands. Of playing golf and hunting for Easter eggs. Of birthdays and bikes. How the June wind freezes on your face waterskiing on glacier-fed lakes at dawn, when the water is perfect.
We all held him. My mother had come over to Japan and my wife's sister had flown up from Taiwan. A tiny birthday party for a son who would have no more.
Then his tiny lungs gave out. Just like that, he was gone. There would be silence in our house. Little feet would never run down the halls, excited to see what Santa had brought. No more songs, no more stories. He was gone.
We were fortunate and were able to have two more wonderful children, now 5 and three.
Now, let's reread the scriptures:
From 3 Nephi:
6 And there was also a great and terrible tempest; and there was terrible thunder, insomuch that it did shake the whole earth as if it was about to divide asunder.
7 And there were exceedingly sharp lightnings, such as never had been known in all the land.
8 And the city of Zarahemla did take fire.
9 And the city of Moroni did sink into the depths of the sea, and the inhabitants thereof were drowned.
10 And the earth was carried up upon the city of Moronihah, that in the place of the city there became a great mountain.
11 And there was a great and terrible destruction in the land southward.
12 But behold, there was a more great and terrible destruction in the land northward; for behold, the whole face of the land was changed, because of the tempest and the whirlwinds, and the thunderings and the lightnings, and the exceedingly great quaking of the whole earth;
13 And the highways were broken up, and the level roads were spoiled, and many smooth places became rough.
14 And many great and notable cities were sunk, and many were burned, and many were shaken till the buildings thereof had fallen to the earth, and the inhabitants thereof were slain, and the places were left desolate.
15 And there were some cities which remained; but the damage thereof was exceedingly great, and there were many in them who were slain.
16 And there were some who were carried away in the whirlwind; and whither they went no man knoweth, save they know that they were carried away.
17 And thus the face of the whole earth became deformed, because of the tempests, and the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the quaking of the earth.
18 And behold, the rocks were rent in twain; they were broken up upon the face of the whole earth, insomuch that they were found in broken fragments, and in seams and in cracks, upon all the face of the land.
19 And it came to pass that when the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the storm, and the tempest, and the quakings of the earth did cease—for behold, they did last for about the space of three hours; and it was said by some that the time was greater; nevertheless, all these great and terrible things were done in about the space of three hours—and then behold, there was darkness upon the face of the land.
20 And it came to pass that there was thick darkness upon all the face of the land, insomuch that the inhabitants thereof who had not fallen could feel the vapor of darkness;
21 And there could be no light, because of the darkness, neither candles, neither torches; neither could there be fire kindled with their fine and exceedingly dry wood, so that there could not be any light at all;
22 And there was not any light seen, neither fire, nor glimmer, neither the sun, nor the moon, nor the stars, for so great were the mists of darkness which were upon the face of the land.
23 And it came to pass that it did last for the space of three days that there was no light seen; and there was great mourning and howling and weeping among all the people continually; yea, great were the groanings of the people, because of the darkness and the great destruction which had come upon them.
24 And in one place they were heard to cry, saying: O that we had repented before this great and terrible day, and then would our brethren have been spared, and they would not have been burned in that great city Zarahemla.
25 And in another place they were heard to cry and mourn, saying: O that we had repented before this great and terrible day, and had not killed and stoned the prophets, and cast them out; then would our mothers and our fair daughters, and our children have been spared, and not have been buried up in that great city Moronihah. And thus were the howlings of the people great and terrible.