Posted by:
atouchscreendarkly
(
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Date: September 01, 2014 09:58AM
I was, honestly, disappointed. My understanding of what was to take place was so much grander than it turned out.
They've done away with the fully-nude-under-a-barber's-cape initiatory session now, but that's how it was when I went through. In my head there was supposed to be a bald-headed priest and an escort walking me nude twixt lines of torches, washing me head to toe from a brass basin, oil mixed with myrrh (per the Old Testament).
Then I went to a locker to change into my new underwear. The same bald-headed priest was supposed to clad me in scarlet and azure, and lead me to secret, incense-billowing chambers where deepest arcanae would be whispered me. Instead I got sent up some stairs, and seated in another chapel.
The presentation was in movie form, with a guy standing, bored, pretending to be saying it. Worse, I was in a huge crowd of people. At least, I thought, we are all in the same, meaningful-looking garb. This must be deeply important and solemn.
I am still afraid to reveal more than this, even to a huge group of people who already know it. So I guess that part of the solemnization worked. I thought secret signs &c. We're awesome, and was sure any names that may or may not have been given to me were specifically and carefully for me.
Lastly, I was so excited for the end of the ceremony, that I was sure I'd see Father, or angels, ...or something. It was crushing when there was just an old man in a line of old men I greet me just like everybody else.
Then I discovered they'd removed pieces; pieces of how to get back to heaven, and I was astounded. I asked my dad about them, and we had to go back to the temple to get answers, all of which were deeply insufficient. ("Swear unto me by thy throat, and if thou tell it, thou shalt die..." Came to mind more than once)
And years later, I saw what the masons did, and learned about having the "true masonry" (JOD, so it doesn't count, right?) and it hurts even worse. I wanted a secret and magical initiation, not the fast food version of an ancient ritual.
I'm actually really sad now. *sigh*