Posted by:
Heidi GWOTR
(
)
Date: October 13, 2010 12:24PM
First of all, thanks to everyone for their input. I sent in my letter, but couldn't get it notarized, so I'm expecting to see the bishop at my door. I'm NOT good at verbal fencing, so I've prepared the statements/questions I think he might use and figured out my answers to them. Now I just have to practice them. Here they are for your enjoyment and consideration. Comments and suggestions are welcome.
Bishop: Calls me “Sister Newbold”
Me: Pardon my correcting you, but my ecclesiastical title is Reverend Mother. You may address me as Mother. How may I help you child?
Bishop: Of what are you Reverend Mother?
Me: Of the Wildwood Coven of the Amber Moon and have been so for the last 14 years.
Bishop: Did you write this letter?
Me: Yes, of course I did. I assume you brought the letter of acknowledgement I requested?
Bishop: Yes
Me: Thank you for your courtesy
Bishop: No… I had to make sure …
Me: I see. Well, I guess then you’ll have to go back and prepare one. You will remember that in my letter I requested no contact, so I’ll expect you to mail it to me at the address provided.
Bishop: May I come in?
Me: I’m sorry, but no. I don’t allow strangers into my home.
Bishop: May I speak to you and your husband?
Me: You don’t need to speak to my husband. He’s never been a member of your church, and I can answer quite well for myself, thank you.
Bishop: What doctrinal questions do you have?
Me: I no longer have any doctrinal questions. I have already found the answers.
Bishop: May I ask why you are leaving?
Me: I’m sorry; I presumed you had actually read my letter. I’m leaving for doctrinal reasons.
Bishop: Which doctrines?
Me: Forgive my bluntness, but I don’t discuss private matters with strangers. It’s rather crass, don’t you think?
Bishop: Have you prayed about it?
Me: Of course! And used the brain that God gave me for just this sort of thing.
Bishop: You know this will cancel baptism, endowment, yada yada
Me: As for baptism, a child of 8 cannot legally enter into a contract. As for the endowments: it is also illegal to coerce someone to sign a contract, but not allow her to read it before hand. Be that as it may, since I do not worship your god, I wish to have no contract with him anyway. So, you may do as you wish in that regard.
Bishop: Do you have any unconfessed sins?
Me: No.
Bishop: Were you offended… yada yada
Me: The person who offended me was Joseph Smith and his lying, sociopathic, narcissistic, sexual predator ways. And, all of your so-called prophets since.
Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 10/13/2010 12:28PM by Heidi GWOTR.