What was the best way that you have broken the habit of calling people brother and sister so and so?

I also realize for some people that it isn't as big of an issue. This has been my hardest Mormon habit to break since I live in Utah, in the neighborhood where I grew up and learnd everyone's names that way. And I am very close to my mom, who lives next door, and is always telling me about brother Bob who is really sick or sister Judy who just got arrested again.

I'm so immersed in it, that I'm having a hard time not saying it. I end up stuttering and just saying the words anyways.

Anyone in my type of situation who has successfully eliminated this from their vocabulary?

Thanks ahead for the tips :). I'll send cookies later.

Force yourself to call someone "Bob" or "Mr. Smith" a couple of times. The look on their face is priceless. Pretty soon that look is worth the effort and it becomes second nature.

One thing I have to say good about Bishop Jackwagon is I always called him "Bob" and he never flinched, despite his usual demand for respect and following the rules. And he always called me CA girl, not Sister. Bishop Buttercream flinches when I call him by his first name and tries to avoid calling me anything. Well, I've only bumped into him twice in 8 months but both times, that's was how it played out.

Seriously though, call the snotty PTA chick "Mrs." Jones and watch her face. You'll be rewarded.

I've been trying the forcing method, but it just ends in me stuttering. Haha

Fidget,

Don't know if this will help or not but when I need to reprogram something like this I use mental image association. That is every time you see that person or hear their name just repeat in your mind several times their name e.g. Bob Jones or Judy Smith while mentally picturing them so that as time goes by you reprogram yourself to think and associate the mental image of them in terms of their real name in stead of brother or sister. It will take some time but it something is that has worked for me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/10/2013 05:39PM by sanitationengineer.

I just call them by their first names.

I started calling people by their first names before I left Mormonism, thanks in part to a bishop in my youth who refused to go by his title when he wasn't in a church building.

On my mission I shared my first name with anyone who asked, and I didn't correct anyone who preferred to call me by it. Why would I? I am my own person, worthy to be acknowledged as an individual.

I think that it comes down to a recognition of a person's individual worth rather than their relationship to the Mormon organization. To me, if a member tries to engage me as a representative of the church then I have no problem calling them "brother," "sister," "bishop," "president" or "douchenozzle." If we're conversing about something unrelated to their position within the church then I'll probably just call them by their first name.

Some people need physical cues. Have you tried the rubber band around your wrist trick? Every time you catch yourself about to do it or having done it, snap the rubber band.
Especially if you are stuttering, some stutterers snap their fingers or smack their leg as a physical cue to get out of it.

I got out so early that it began sounding weird even while I attended church, but there you are immersed in Utah. My sympathies, it must be everywhere.

That's a good idea. I taught myself to stop biting my nails that way in fifth grade.

That will work if you are trying to overcome a bad habit but if you are nervous about making the change, these are great to help calm the nerves and mind.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=worry+stone

I always found it ODD from when I was very young. My parents never did it. So I never did either.

Even when I was going to church I never used b/s. Like the initials say... b.s. I just couldn't do it. It was just too awkward sounding.

I only called people Bro. or Sis. if I didn't know them well, or in the capacity of being a Primary counselor. I even called one of the SP counselors by his first name at all times, as he was one of my college professors at that time. He prefered that his students call him by his first name, even if they were in the same stake as him.

I moved into the ward I just resigned from in 2005. I was single and an empty nester, so my contact with ward members was almost exclusively with the women and the twelve year olds that I taught in Sunday School. I couldn't tell you the given name of more than five men in this neighborhood.

One thing you learn quickly when you are a divorced mormon woman, is that you do not talk to the men if you want to be friends with the women.

Post of the day.

Not only did I not talk to the men, but it didn't even help.

THe bishop finally told me that no women --as in zero--would allow their husband to be my home teacher.

I had no idea I was that hot--maybe not in California, but man move my miniskirted and suede-booted ass into Utah and I was trouble.

At least I knew where I really stood, as a Dreaded Single Adult, with my "sisters."


Anagrammy

anagrammy Wrote:
>
> At least I knew where I really stood, as a Dreaded
> Single Adult, with my "sisters."
>
>
> Anagrammy

Yep. The married sisters treat the Dreaded Single Sisters like evil, contaminated whores. It has made a world of difference in my life over the last year to NOT have to deal with this anymore.

On fidget's original topic, I agree with those who have advised calling the faux-bros and sisses by their first names. It may take a few months, but then it'll become an ingrained habit.

Why does sister Judy always get arrested.

Assault in front of a minor.

Just change the emphasis and abandon all formality.

"What's up brotha?"

I always liked the "Brother/Sister" thing because I only had to learn ONE name...or none at all!

Before TSCC I was a Catholic. It took me forever to stop my hand from automatically making the sign of the Cross when I prayed. When I "came home" to the RCC, I told that to my priest and he laughed and said he wondered what "leftovers" I'd have from my Mormon decades. Turns out it's the bro/sis thing. I went to a lector meeting and said, "Sister Jones called me to switch masses." Crickets. Then one of them said, "Sister?" And I had to explain the whole dang thing.

The only good thing leftover from TSCC is the ability to speak in public. Got LOTS of practice...

When I read the title I thought it might be some kind of kinky sex thing. Now I realize it is a Pervert thing.

I hate it when people from TSCC show up on my door and expect me to shake hands with them. I never shake their hands anymore and LMAO after they leave.

On the flip side, as a convert I never was comfortable with it. I see it as a designator of being 'part of the club'. I get annoyed if I am around it now. Maybe just remind yourself that you are just perpetuating the culture if you say it.

When I joined the church 10 years ago, the first time I was at the podium, I made it clear that my I wanted to be addressed by my first name.

I was a rebel even from the beginning.

I still sometimes refer to someone as brother or sister, especially when discussing them with other Mormons - here in UT with the prevalence of Mormonism it is often the most socially and cultural correct thing to do - especially when referring to someone significantly older than me and/or where they are a distant acquaintance.