I know it's been a while since I last posted something other than my Sunday threads.

I won't bore you with the details of my amazing life just now that have kept me so busy as to keep me away from sharing how dramatic, hilarious, and ironic the storyline of my life is. I'll do that later.

Anyspooge, I've been reading "Devil's Gate" for a little bit each day at work. And this post needs a book review for the story of lunchtime contention to make sense. Because the internal conflict of this story hinges upon said book. And me reading it.

So, "Devil's Gate" The Reviewening:

If I were to have a thesis statement for the book in question, I could summarize it into the simple, imperative sentence, "Fuck that book!"

However, the rest of the review would be to support and clarify that thesis statement as a good essay should.

There's nothing mostly wrong with the writing. There's nothing wrong with the research. All of that is mostly solid.

No, that's not what I would implore the reader to forcefully fornicate with. It's the stupid fucking goddamn bullshit that's inside the book that should be crossly copulated with.

David Roberts fills the book with journal entries that are just so fucking infuriating. But, as anyone who has been mistreated and/or verbally abused by Mormon leaders, the journal entries bring this historical perspective that Mormon leaders have been fucking abusive assholes for almost 200 years now.

This victim blaming, superiority complex, entitled douchebaggery runs deep.

So deep.

So deep; put your ass to sleep.

The leaders of the handcart companies literally wrote in their journals the spiritual deficits that the dead pioneers had in order to justify the reasons why god murdered them.

So, if you were Sister Maryweather, a poor spinster from England who sold all her meager possessions just for the chance of joining a group of so-called saints in order to build up a utopia on earth that glorified your god of love, and you froze to death mostly starving on the plains only to have your broken corpse ravaged by wolves....

Guess what?

Fuck you, you didn't have enough faith.

That's right. That's what the journal entry would be about. It would be read something along the lines of, "Sister Maryweather, the grumbling quim not fit to build God's Kingdom, finally unburdened the rest of us with her useless mortal carriage and gave up her pitiful ghost to be judged as inferior by the Almighty. Praise, Jesus, she was such a bitch."

And don't think that the living faired any better. If you said ANYTHING

ANYTHING!!!!!

That even hinted on criticism. Even if it was totally fucking valid. Even if it was super fucking obvious.

Even if it was, "Hey guys, I'm all for going to Zion, and I'm sure that Jesus loves us for all the sacrifices that we have made and are about to make, but we are clear over here in Iowa, and Zion is clear over there, and it's like late September, and maybe we should really just leave in the Spring because winter comes up soon, and we have to pull our own handcarts, and Hitler hasn't invented the highway system yet - so maybe we build God's Kingdom next Spring.....?"

Oh, fuck you!

Take your Old Testament Moses wandering the desert for forty fucking years because of murmuring, and shove it up your filthy apostate ass.

The people who suggested this were chastised publicly and frequently.

AND ONE OF THEM HAD SEEN THE AFTER EFFECTS OF THE DONNER PARTY!

All he fucking said was, "Hey, guys, I love you - and part of that love involves not eating your naturally refrigerated corpses. Let's go in the Spring to avoid having to munch on each other when times get rough."

And this guy was shit upon thoroughly.

Multiple journal entries from Mormon leaders said shit like, "Jesus. Today I met the, 'Hey I don't want to eat you,' guy. What a dick. Asshole doesn't get that he should just do what everyone above him says and everything will be great. And if we all do end up dying horribly, then good for us. Jesus really respects that kind of idiocy."

And today I just got to the part where a handcart party is still about to cross the worst of the plains. Winter will be coming. They already don't have enough food. They are stopped at one of the last places they can buy more food. But they don't have any money.

And they meet the Mormon missionaries who are going to Europe....

And the missionaries say, "Hey! That's a great looking meat calf you got.

Kill it. So WE can eat it. And we'll catch you guys later."

....And they do!

But the journal entry mentions that the missionaries started with talks about sacrifice, and gratitude for having jack shit, and other kinds of manipulative bullshit.

Now, I have been on this board for years now. And I have seen a LOT of threads that talk about being a missionary, and having the general authorities come to shit all over your faces and work, and after they beat you down with their words, end the meeting with, "Well, let's all line up, so you can all kiss my ass."

Guess where that fucking shit comes from????

That's right!!! The same place where YOU saying, "Uh, maybe we should be nice to homosexuals" gets you a resounding, "YOU ARE A SATANIC MEAT PUPPET!"



Ok, so review time is mostly over. But I just wanted you to know what was swirling in my head today during lunch time.

One of my coworkers made a bad joke about not being able to go to Missouri. Another nevermo was incredibly confused by that. So, this first coworker mentions the extermination order against Mormons.

Normally during lunch, I'm busy thinking about what I'm going to binge watch on Netflix - so I let Mormon shit slide off my back like a sewer duck.

But today. Before I could even think about what I was saying, my mouth spat out, "There was a reason for that!"

This took a lot of people off guard. I have NEVER commented on this kind of shit before.

Most of my Utah coworkers think of me as a clueless nevermo. Usually my interaction with Mormonspeak sounds like, "Duhhhhhhhhhhhh! SteakPreSIdeNT??? Is that the guy at Sizzler that makes sure your meat is medium rare??????"

And I don't have a problem with this specific Mormon coworker. I actually really like him.

But I fucking reacted. And my hackles were raised.

Raised enough that when he said, "The reason was because Mormons moved there," I forcefully responded, "NO! The Danites were MURDERING PEOPLE!"

This coworker is a History guy, and even though I do like him, I was seriously going to nail him to the wall if he tried to weasel out of this.

Which he did by trying to start with a "Haun's Mill," and I said again. "There was a reason for that too!"

And before he could say anything, I rudely interrupted him by arguing, "I'm not saying that the extermination order was justified. But the Danites were a Mormon terrorist organization assassinating people.

People don't get to kill Mormons. But MORMONS DON'T GET TO KILL PEOPLE!

And the extermination order and Haun's Mill didn't happen for 'NO REASON.'"

My coworker sheepishly agreed.

I got up and left. I was angrier than I should have been. I heard him say, "I just made a dumb joke." And it's true. He just made a dumb joke.

I probably shouldn't have even reacted. If I had been a better person, I would have kept my original train of thought of, "Good god, Karate Kids 2, 3, and that Hilary Swank shit was a mess. But what the fuck am I going to watch now?"

Except I reacted. And like Terry Silver's "Quicksilver" techniques, I went straight for the nose, ribs, and knees.

It's just hard when History comes alive. When the ghosts of the past and ghosts of your own past come to make sweet love right in front of your fucking eyes.

Those journal entries were EXACTLY the things I heard during and after my mission.

It was like Quantum Leap. I saw those journal entries of those people who went through hell just to get shit on, and felt trapped in the lives of the past. With the multiple journal entries, it was as if I was leaping from body to body, trying to right the wrongs of the past - hoping that my next leap - would be the leap home.

And maybe part of why I was so sensitive was because this co-worker was a History guy. Perhaps, I just snapped because this guy of all guys should have KNOWN better than to make that dumb of a joke.

I will be honest in saying that I have personal criticisms against David Roberts. Sometimes in his book he uses labels on people who left the church, and their subsequent writings. There are times that he calls them, "angry, bitter, apostates" without any clarification.

Trying to be objective, he uses the same labels that church leaders used to smear their characters without any sort of defense.

So, sometimes when he calls a particular apostate, "angry" or "bitter," I can't help but think, "Fuck you, David.

I know you are an Historian. And therefore, you should be as objective as possible. But these were real people. They either died, or nearly died. And the church desecrated their lives and sacrifices by labeling them with pejoratives.

Try it sometime.

Come be a Mormon, and at your weakest either physically or emotionally be betrayed by the ones whom you've given your sacred trust.

Then, during that grieving process be stamped so negatively."

And I know that that is kind of sensitive. But sometimes that History comes alive again, and I can't help but think, "You put ONE journal entry from this guy and called him an 'angry apostate.'"

One.

One!!!

Maybe most of his life, he didn't give a flying rat's fuck about Mormonism. But he was really and truly justifiably pissed off about the handcart company that was out to rob him and treat him as a commodity.

Because that's exactly what Brigham Young thought of these converts. They were numbers that would inflate an army to intimidate the United States Forces that fucking with the law-scoffing child-bride fuckers in Deseret wasn't worth the trouble.

Maybe if this "angry, bitter apostate" had Netflix, his "sensationalist" "anti-Mormon" journal entry would have stated, "Fuck Brigham Young, Willy, and Martin and their dumb as shit handcart clusterfuck fiasco. I'm going to re-watch X-Files now for the ninth time."

And this would have given us perspective on that guy who's totally dead now that Mormonism sucked, but he still led a normal life after leaving.

However, with all this said, and because I was raised Mormon, I completely understand that the only reason I have a criticism with David Roberts and his book is the same reason I lashed out at this coworker. There's a personal issue with me.

I have issues with the Mormon Persecution Complex that allows for carte blanche criticism without allowing for any in return.

Nevertheless, because I was raised Mormon, I completely understand that the only reason why David Roberts will place labels on certain apostates is because the exMormon readership is a niche within a niche market.

He would like both Mormons and exMormons to read this book.

And I agree with him.

I think that everyone who wants to understand Mormonism should read this book.

It really encapsulates the culture of Mormonism - over 100 years after the incidents.

But, David...those times that you omit an "understandably" after you call a journal entry or an apostate, "angry" or "bitter," puts a knife tip under my sternum and presses until I can feel it in my spinal column.

The victim blaming journal entries you put in the book, I heard personally in 2001 - even though they were originally from the 1850s.

So, perhaps, you'll forgive me for writing about Mormonism with some vitriol. However, most of the time in my day - I'm actually thinking about quite mundane things. Because I have shit to do.

I understand that you are an Historian. And I am a writer. A chronicler of my own experience - hoping that somehow it resonates with selections of humanity.

I was labelled by Mormons before I even left Mormonism. Perhaps I shouldn't be so sensitive about being labelled by non-Mormons. But somehow it feels different.

And please don't mistake me, David.

It's difficult to put your book down. As difficult as it is to NOT throw it across the room at times.

You put in a journal entry from a distant relative of mine, and the similarities in style and diction made me want to vomit in a horrified sense of disturbing familiarity.

But I want you to understand that the words, "angry," "bitter," and "apostate" are loaded. Furthermore, there is nuance to my particular angry, bitter, apostateness as opposed to anothers'.

"Devil's Gate" was real to me. I knew what those people had been through even though the details were different. But it made me hypersensitive to the the Mormon Persecution Complex. I think mostly, because it is a projection onto everyone else that Mormons persecute.

Often, I'm not even thinking about Mormonism. It only creeps up if there's something within my writing that necessitates the topic.

Usually, I'm just reliving the specific triteness that makes Ice Cube's "It was a Good Day" a classic. But sometimes, something digs up a shallow grave and predator ravaged specter disturbs my soul's peace, and I have to document that shit.

So, David Roberts, forgive me for being such an angry, bitter apostate - writing about my experiences with Mormonism with such hate filled mordancy. And I'll forgive you for labeling those who had the courage to leave with the same terms their abusers used against them.

Now, if you all will excuse me. All this reflection has made me feel that I should queue up Quantum Leap. So, I now have something to binge watch anytime I've got free-time in which I'm too tired to think.

God, I hope Sam and Al can get Ziggy to figure out a way for Sam to get back home.

that you didn't even know was raw. Until someone touches it.

As you know, I regularly hook up with that guy Roberts called "the sharpest thorn in the side of the Mormon establishment," and honest Lamanite, he's got a lot more information than what he shared with David Roberts.

We can easily fit you into our lunch schedule on short notice.

Come to think of it, check your e-mail...

The Mormon Persecution Complex -

This is a central tenant of the faith. This is why the pioneer stock claim royalty status -- see what my ancestors had to endure.

I once spoke to a Rabbi and asked him why the Jews have been so persecuted throughout history. He had not idea.

Ask a Mormon why they were driven from state to state and eventually came to Utah - why the persecution? No idea.

-------------

persecution complex:

One of the top fifteen factors that can transform a reasonable, amiable, friendly person with reasonable, friendly beliefs and ideas into a ranting, screaming, judgemental zealot with poisonous, nauseating, self-righteous dreck for beliefs.

Persecution complex can strike anyone, regardless of belief, creed or religion, or whether they disagree with you or not. Once you start believing that the whole world is against you, you begin to justify your abominable actions by the presumed hostility of the world. Mind you, it's a great way to not only make enemies, but also an excellent way of making people reject your beliefs and idealogy.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=persecution%20complex

If it's any consolation, I rather enjoyed your profanity-filled rant.
Seriously.
And being of "pioneer stock," I can also relate. Big time.

I don't understand why you are criticizing yourself about correcting your co-worker. Sure, it's fun to play dumb. I loved the Sizzler comment. But if you're going to have friends, sooner or later, those people around you, like a co-worker, need to know the real you.

Because you are deeply empathetic, and feel for those despised people being abused by the arrogant, it is natural to be intolerant of arrogant ignorance that perpetrates the abuse. When I was young, black jokes and polack jokes and homo jokes were all hilarious and openly told. Gradually, and then in a flood, they were, and now are, rejected by society (thankfully, my own mother was one of the first to put a stop to those).

That your co-worker sheepishly admitted you were right locates the zeitgeist in your office. And that's good for you and your natural sincerity. That your co-worker whined, "It was just a joke," is not an indictment of you; it's a weak attempt to save face. And, as the clear victor in the discussion, it's good sportsmanship to magnanimously let the comment pass. Let him get the last word. His tail's still between his legs.

You've got nothing to feel bad about. You've got everything to feel good about. You just made a friend, and on your terms.

Raptor, I was a convert so I pretty much ignored the pioneer stuff. I don't mean offence, but I got pretty tied of all the faith-promoting sh!t being force fed into me.

So here's another story of more recent memory when a GA face-fucked a member--I was invited to the Bountiful temple dedication because President Hunter (the only member of the Morg I will use that title with) felt that every member of the church, regardless of activity, should be invited to the dedication.

By the time of the dedication, he had died. That fucker Gordo, aka The Salamander, was now top prophet-prick. Gordo told about how his missionary companion--and he named the man!--fell away from the church. He called him a covenant breaker. Most of his talk was spent dissing the man! That's what our prophet-fucker did.

My TBM wife tried that on me...a covenant breaker! She learned of my large and effective command of vulgar English that day. So, my friend, I trace my fuck-laden speech back to the fucking Salamander! The Boner.

very good rant!

I didn't notice some of the stuff you are talking about, but probably because I was caught up in the abuse that the church heaped on these people. I had a relative in the group, too. It has been a while since I read it (on recommendation of SL Cabbie on this web site).

I was sickened by so many things in that book. One of the biggest being the people like John Taylor coming through in buggies and wagons and eating THEIR FOOD. It was a very difficult book to read.

As for your coworker, this subject is never something you should joke about.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/12/2014 04:40PM by cl2.

Be prepared to be really, really angry...

And I'd be happy to share some off-board stuff with you if you want to drop me a line...

SL_Cabbie@yahoo.com

Wait, Quantum Leap is on Netflix???!!!

This is what you took from that?!?

;)

Does the book mention Brigham Young's Steam Engine?

Briggy wanted to have boat rides on Utah and Great Sale Lakes.
He ordered a huge steam engine to power the boat. It was stuck
in route to Salt Lake City at the same time that the Martin and
Willie parties were dying.

Briggy sent orders to divert some of the people sent to rescue
the Martin and Willie parties and have them make SURE the steam
engine and other provisions (including booze) made it to Salt
Lake City.

Priorities, boys, priorities!

Hey, I just noticed you posted this on the anniversary of the MMM.

I have another booklet that is a kind of "traveler's guide" called "Fruits of Mormonism" Compiled by N. Slater, A. M

It is a compilation of accounts of what happened to travelers through Utah. Dealings with BY's Mormons could turn deadly or disastrous pretty easily. The super nice never do wrong put upon pious mormon image sure has a lot of tarnishes when you start looking at the actual records.

Basically it is a list of warnings about avoiding Utah if you could help it. Kind of like yelp reviews or something. Mormons and Utah had really shitty ratings but I guess most of us already know that around here.

Brilliant! Thanks for posting this.

I feel like this post needs more exposure. The church's emotional exploitation of its members and detractors is built into its foundation, and it is absolutely sickening.

I was sent on a mission for the church, assured that Jesus would heal the trauma of my mother's suicide attempts. Her well-being and my own were my responsibility: if I was a good missionary we would thrive, but if I failed my family would suffer.

I got horribly ill while I was serving. I was told not to seek medical aid, and the mission president accused me of being lazy and unfaithful. Clearly it was MY fault I got sick!

And now, my faithful family and former friends point to my anger at the church as evidence of my pride and susceptibility to the enticings of Satan. My negative emotions toward the organization that used and abused me have been used against me to confirm their own biases.

Seriously, fuck Mormonism. Families First my ass.

*slow clap*