What is the worst event that happened as a result of you coming out as an apostate? Then what was the best event that occured as a result? It might make me feel better about my coming out (no homo)
OK - the worst part was telling the bishop and getting yelled at and belittled, in his misguided attempt to scare me straight. It could not have backfired more completely and only taught me that staying Mormon because of the people and their high standards was a BIG mistake.
Conversely, this is also the best thing that happened because it gave me the push to get all the way out, instead of wading around in the shallow waters of Mormonism. I had been planning to stay because even though there were problems, I thought it was a good way to raise children. My kids were 12 and 10 when we left and right on the edge of prime brainwashing years. Thankfully I got them out and taught them to think critically before the Mormons got to them. If I hadn't got them out when I did, it might have been impossible and I'm grateful every time I think of it. Also, our family life in general has improved a lot. No unrealistic expectations between DH and I, less pressure, more family time, more money. We've done more fun vacations and last year, my son went on a tour of South America with his Spanish club - the monthly payment for several months was the exact amount we used to pay in tithing. Giving my son that great opportunity instead of buying a mall was terrific.
I've also enjoyed re-connecting with my non-LDS friends. I like how I'm more appreciative of humanity in general and don't judge them by LDS standards. I didn't think I did that as a Mormon but I'm even better at being accepting now. I like being able to think for myself. I love Starbucks. Sundays watching football are much better than Sacrament meeting. So are Sundays at the lake.
I have to admit, it was creepy the way not one, single Mormon asked me why I quit going to church and infuriating to hear second hand their speculations. It was like watching one of those horror movies where all the nice, wholesome, clean cut people you know rip off their masks and turn out to be evil space aliens. I still get anxiety going into a Mormon church, especially the one we left. I won't hang out with Mormon women in groups of more than 2. But that's my choice, wanting to be with people who are genuine and not brainwashed.
My advice to you would be "don't talk to your bishop" and "be prepared for people to act more stupidly than you can imagine." However, it's worth it to just be able to relax and enjoy life. It's worth it to have real friends you trust. It's worth it to trust your own mind, heart and soul. And I still avoid stupid conversations about the church with people who can't be reasoned with. If they can talk to me nicely about other things, we are good. When they start spouting B.S. (and sometimes before), then the friendship is over.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/16/2014 09:50PM by CA girl.