"We've had a lot of mentions that people don't feel welcome or feel excluded or unimportant in their wards. Requests for help have been met judgmentally, unkindly or without response.

I know for me, when I reached out for help, I got a response, but it wasn't what I asked for or needed. I also felt somewhat disconnected from my ward, in large part because of the way they would schedule activities (during the day or early evening, when I was at work).

So... do you feel disconnected from your ward? How do we fix it?"

http://community.babycenter.com/post/a45264532/so_do_you_feel_excluded_or_unimportant_in_your_ward_with_poll

The ward that I (subeam) left was very cliquish.

The gay club at my university is talking next week about how to make church more welcoming for LGBT people. My honest first thought was that church is not inherently welcoming for anyone, and that's the point. It's designed to make everyone feel like they aren't good enough, that they aren't doing enough, and to guilt them into doing more. Requests for help are only met appropriately if meeting them fulfills the requisite "make someone else feel badly about themselves."

Is babycenter a Mormon site?

No it is not a Mormon site but the have a discussion group.

"Latter-day Saints Families - Visitors Welcome Meet with other members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints here to discuss parenting and lifestyle issues. Share your insights and advice! This group is filled with members as interesting as they are diverse. From women to men, veteran moms to the newly pregnant, pioneer decendants to not-members, we've got it all, and we enjoy being this way! This board is a great place to meet friends, get advice, and share the complexities of LDS life. Please join us in creating an envirionment that is fun, loving, and supportive."

I used to think I was the only one who felt that her ward was unfriendly and kind of cold, but here are responses from active lds people and some have the same experiences I had.

"sockballs
Posted 1 hr ago
our ward is the WORST. there are the rich and the poor. the rich always have the big callings and the poor have the filler callings. the rich do the fun activities and the social groups and dinner groups and host the activities at their BIG lush houses. the swim parties in the summer for the teens/tweens/girls activity days in the summer , the rich members houses. the FHE activities and dinner socials, other socials, the rich members houses. the missionarie dinners, the rich members houses. the other activities rich members houses. some of the scout campouts, rich members backyards! relief society activitys in rich members houses. so do you think a regular middle class member would host anything, HE$$ no they would be embarrassed to let us even suggest it. and they are all in high school clicks together and the couples all go bowling, and activities together on the weekends. they all have endless money and kids go to private schools costing over $10K per year. ugh. they plan the callings/releases so someone gets released and called to another calling on the same day magically. (really, like get realeased from rs 2nd counselor and called to yw 1st counselor) they dont know us poor peons exist. the better churches here for social events are the baptist and 12 stone. they are so much more social. my dd (12) hates the lds girls her age. they are mean girls and talk about the others and are really MEAN. she does not want to go to church at all right now. i am not forcing her. she has been planning sleepovers instead. i cant blame her there are some bullies in her age group. they are the yw beehive leaders too and the moms dont care. the girls her age in the other religions here are so much nicer. it is sad. i am sure she would choose another religion if i let her if it was based on people. my sons friends (14) in the other religions are nicer too. the mormon kids here are like the parents so mean and judgmental. ugh. no wonder noone wants to go to the mormon church. why does everyone want to outdo each other and relive high school. it is pathetic and mean."

I don't think I know the woman who wrote it or her ward I grew up outside the usa but it sounds so familiar.

"relive high school." Ha! That's a great point. I'll bet most exmos disliked high school. I know I did. A typical Mormon ward does resemble the culture of high school, right down to the Gym and the meetings (rallies).

I hope you suggested the poster of that message leave the church if it makes her and her family so miserable.

Here's an idea that the Morg won't implement. You let people attend when and where they want to with people they are comfortable with. It might also help if people had a life outside church.

Wow, look at those poll results. Fascinating. I would like to hear more exmo experiences with this!