The first year we moved to southern Idaho, someone secret santa my family. We think it was their ward. Could the same thing happen again in the wake of my Moms passing?
don't worry if it does. It is okay to be weary, as your TBM dad and brother have been using you mom's passing into guilting you to come back to church.
You can't control another person's intentions. So enjoy their present no matter what.
In one my early years in the ward where I met DH, there was a collection of items and money for a family who had been robbed and they were in truly desperate need. (At holiday time.)
We knew them fairly well and while the dad was a decent guy, I knew that the mom was an absolute WITCH when her fangs weren't showing. I, personally, wouldn't have given her a bent penny.
But the entire family was in a dreadful situation. Dad had lost his job, mom (of course) didn't work, and they had numerous children. We contributed $100 anonymously to what turned out to be a huge basket that helped them survive the Christmas season.
Maybe the ward's need to GIVE is even stronger than your need not to get ANYTHING from them. Try to give them credit for that decent impulse, anyway.
And you and Poncho keep on looking after each other, OK?
You probably deal with your share of annoying contacts. I know that I do. If something positive should result from your one-time affiliation with COJCOLDS, consider it the gift horse in whose mouth you don't really need to look.
And try to have a merry Christmas, happy holidays, or however you choose to think of the upcoming season, as much as you can under your family's present difficult circumstances.
I know it's difficult, but try not to worry about things that haven't happened yet.
I sometimes find myself worrying about all kinds of things that end up never happening. It wears me out, and it was all for nothing.
If you find yourself worrying about things that haven't happened, or you can't control, try to make yourself stop. Listen to some music or play with your dog.
It's amazing all the things people worry about. Then, later we find out we didn't need to worry at all. Things turn out ok.
You are a good son. Your dad is lucky to have you. Especially because he probably needs help staying on track with his illness. He needs to learn to let go of the whole Mormon thing though. Especially when he's trying to get you to go back. He's worrying about something he has no control over. See how it works? Hopefully he will be able to let go of that someday and just be happy that you are there for him. Mormonism is very hard on families.