Well folks, we're almost seeing a new record as the mishies rang the old door bell the 5th week in a row-and it was pouring rain outside!!!!

I saw a truck pull up in front of the house, peeked thru the shutters, must be the neighbor, a couple of minutes later I could see them walking up to the front door.

Quick, lights, TV and living room were abandoned. TBM DH was home from work early and he even went into the back bedroom. I suggested to him that we simply leave a note stating we don't want to be visited. He poo pooed the idea, but if he is working next Saturday, I will definitely do it.

That is the end to my news update. Leave us the freak alone!!!

You have been very patient with the intrusions. The mishies would have gotten a tongue-lashing by me at this point. They should not be hounding you and disturbing your peace. You should not have to hide within your own home. Talk to them the next time they knock and let them see your anger at being constantly disturbed. You might tell them that they can expect a bucket of water over them if they bother you again. What arrogant pests!

I love how your a lady with that username! Tell the mishies the only place they are invited is in the bedroom. Then they'll never show up again.

Thanks! Yeah some readers/postesr think I'm a "he." I love Monty Python and the Dennis Moore sketch.

I highly recommend the "Upper Class Twit of The Year" sketch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSqkdcT25ss

Call the local bishop and tell him if he sends his agents to your door again you will sue them for harrassment and trespassing.

Tell him you know where he lives and where his kids go to school. (Don't actually look up this info. That is being naughty.)

This should stop the intrusions and also help feed the bishop's persecution complex that he so cultivates and treasures.

The bishop is a physician at a local hospital. We just received an invite to his daughter's wedding reception (you know the type where everyone is the ward gets an invite).

I have to say "no" to contacting him. This would just open a can of worms you can't put back in the can.

...yeah, don't go. You'll just end up buying her a gift that she'll return for store credit.

NO! Buy her something from a store she'd be too embarrassed to set foot in ;)

File harassment charges. Give the punk kids a criminal record. Serves them right for hawking a scam.

Hey, that would be an interesting note.

Missionaries: Take a hint. Go hawk your scam somewhere else. We're not interested.

you should give them Lupins!!

You guys are like, so lucky! Have them inside and tell them the mysteries of the Gospel. I would. After hearing the so-called "mysteries of the Gospel," they will know why you left and they might leave as well.

Won't work. Anything you tell TBMs that is unflattering--even when most of it came right from the mouths of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young--is you telling a bunch of lies to harm "The Church." Might plant a seed, I guess.

You need to take a firm stand and put an end to this.

I had a similar problem with unwatned mishie visits this year. One day, one of those "surprise" visits caused an uproar in my home on a happy Saturday with my family at home. Totally fed up, I called their Bishop the next day and told him to Never do that again or I will call my local Sheriff.

They keep coming back because you are too nice and too polite.

This simply does not work with obnoxious salesmen or cultists.

This was my experience and what I did. This was with men of the ward, not missionaries.
It was later in the evening before 9PM. Three men from the ward (one was Elder's Quorum Pres) rang the doorbell. I had to get up at 4am so I was in bed. I was a little freaked out and went to the door. There they were smiling and greeting me. I did not open the door. They wanted to know if a man was there and gave his name. I went off on them and yelled to leave that I was sleeping. They apologized, stated they have the wrong address and walked away, but the stood outside by their car and looked at a map. So I went out there in my nightgown with no robe and preceded to chew them out loudly. I asked why they would even think that someone would be at my house, that evidently they were trying ambush someone, and get away from my house. Two neighbors came out and asked if they needed to call the police. I looked at them and asked if I should say yes.They got into the care and left.
No one has been by in 3 months

They actually hung around your property at that late hour, talking after you sent them away and said you had been sleeping. Rude, double, and triple rude!

I'd answer the door and invite them in.

Then I'd share facts with them.

They never come back after that.

I have never experienced this phenomena. I therefore lack perception as to resolution. However it is mystifying to me why the missionaries would so doggedly pursure this methodology. Perhaps they have so little to do otherwise that this is actually a "make work" project.

Part of the issue may be that you are trying to do the impossible.That is attempting to deal rationally with an irrational person. That is something that is not doable.

I sympahtize with your dilema.

Dennis Moore Wrote:
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> Quick, lights, TV and living room were abandoned.
> TBM DH was home from work early and he even went
> into the back bedroom.

You and your DH are far more polite than I would be. I would leave the lights and TV on, the drapes open, and I would remain visible in the living room, allowing them to knock and ring the doorbell, all the while ignoring every knock and ring.

Most doorbells work the same way. The push-button at you door is simply to pieces of metal. One on the base of the switch and on the cover (part you push) When you push this in it makes contact with the metal on the base allowing the current to run through to the "bell" itself. Drill a small hole in the center of the button and screw in a small metal screw in the hole so that it makes contact with the metal inside of the button cover. When pushed in the two metals meet, which is now contacting the screw which is being pushed by a finger. the current will flow right to the finger. Shocking them. Most doorbells are low voltage so want kill or anything, but will give a little jolt. Not saying to do this, but it has been done and is quite entertaining.

Hiding in the back room seems not very effective. Try something else.

I suggest answer the door, tell them to go away and not come back. Crazy, I know, but it might just work.

I thought we all agreed that you were going to put the CES Letter in an envelope and write, "for the LDS missionaries" and leave it on your porch for them.

Please do this!

I've found success with polite but firm discourse. I had an encounter with the missionaries a little more than a month ago, and I think it went pretty well. I wrote about it for RfM: http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1068609

That being said, with the missionary program straining under the weight of so many young elders and sisters, harassing less-actives seems like the kind of tedious busywork that will keep the kids from misbehaving as a result of intolerable boredom. So they may come back even if you reject them to their faces.

It appears that you're trying to avoid confrontation. Unfortunately, Mormonism doesn't espouse a respect for privacy, and I foresee them coming back over and over and over again until you bat them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and explain to them that what they're doing is wrong and unwelcome.

Keep the stuff easily accessible so when you see them coming you can quickly don it and greet them in style.

But don't forget the bottle of booze as an extra accessory.

They should be so freaked out they'll never return, and likely never be able to forget you.

Things to do when unwanted Mormons are at your door.
1. have a bucket of water on your porch. Go outside onto your porch, calmly pick up the bucket and drench them without warning. then calmly go back inside. They will not return again.
2. If you have been through the temple endowment, you will recognize this as your greeting at the veil. Do it to your visitors and they will be so shocked they won't return.
You open your door a few inches, extend your hand and say "What is wanted?"
3. Resign from the church, and your name will be removed from the church rolls. This is the ultimate way to stop their visits.

Squeebee shared a response that she got out in the mission field that you can use.

When a guy opened the door to their knock, they told the guy they had a message from god, and he said, no thanks, that he was god already.

You guys rock! Where else could I go to get some much appreciated advice and suggestions?

I love you all! And if TBM DH works on Saturday, I will put the CES letter on the porch with a note to bug off.

Dennis

Was there a sixth Saturday visit?

Offer them a cold beer while standing naked at the door. Thatll teach them