I have only been to one Mormon wedding, but I was not inside for the ceremony. I always thought that it was just like a traditional wedding where people are sitting in the pews, the bride walks up with her father, the Bishop or whatever performs the wedding vows and they say "I do," kiss, and everyone's happy. But it recently occurred to me that this is probably not the case. What is the actual ceremony like?

Don't know never been to one but the receptions are nothing to write home about

You get dressed up in your temple garb, which totally covers your wedding dress (see link below). You sit in chairs together while any attendees sit in chairs. Someone you don't know is the sealer (unless you have a relative who can do this - most of us just take our chances). He talks about marriage and/or give advice. Then he asks you to approach the alter and kneel. You and your future spouse kneel on opposite sides of the alter and take each other by the right hand in the patriarchal grip across the alter (see link below). The sealer basically just asks if you both agree to take each other for eternity - you answer yes and then he says "by the power of the priesthood ..." and you are married (link to actual ceremony below). You stand, exchange rings but no vows. Then you stand to the side while your family files out and hugs you or shakes your hand. That's it.

No walking down the aisle, no music, no flowers, the bride doesn't carry her bouquet or wear her veil, no exchange of vows, no lighting a candle together or pouring two separate glasses of wine into one or anything cute, personal or meaningful. The reception can be how you want it but you know what that's like. The ceremony is gruesome.

Like this but with a green apron on your wedding day: http://www.i4m.com/think/jpeg/temple_endowment_ceremony.jpg

Patriarchal grip: http://www.dwnomad.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/wpid-2012-03-10_23-08-23_116.jpg

Here are the actual words (thanks Deconstructor) http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon127.htm



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2014 10:48PM by CA girl.

The man vows to "take" the woman and the woman vows to "give" herself to the man.

I posted a link to the exact words.

Are you talking Temple wedding? Because it is basically the endowment ceremony on the internet with the bride and groom not seeing one another hardly at all and making their VOWS TO THE CHURCH not to one another.
A non-Temple wedding is pretty much like any other wedding except more boring.
The receptions ARE VERY PATHETIC - you get a little sacrament sized cup of those little butter mints mixed with 3-4 peanuts. Then to drink you will have some kind of lemon lime soda mixed with lime sherbet....UGH!
The refreshments on short cheap airline flights are better.

> A non-Temple wedding is pretty much like any other wedding except more boring.


MUCH more boring...

Even worse. I have seen bishops say, sneeringly, "for time ONLY". There is no walking down the aisle in chapel weddings and not even "for better or worse, in sickness and in health..." Such weddings are intentionally lousy because TSCC must stress the importance of "THE TEMPLE".

I can't tell you all how many Mormon receptions I've been to where the "refreshments" are just like a previous poster said: a little cup with a few nuts, maybe some mints, and a small glass of slush. Oh, and sometimes a larger mint with a picture of the temple embossed on it.

Before that, you wait to go through the reception line, then shake the hands of at least half a dozen bridesmaids in tacky matching dresses before you get to the bride and groom. So often, I've seen a couple look like they're going to drop from exhaustion; probably those who did the endowment and marriage in one day. What's worse, these receptions are often held in the cultural hall (gym) of their local ward, which is nothing more than a basketball court. Imagine standing in "the key" right under the hoop waiting in line until you can finally get that nut cup and glass of slush.

Mormon receptions can be the worst, most tacky occasions I've personally ever attended.

Mormon weddings are boring as hell, incredibly stupid, cult-like, and waaaay overpriced. I wish I would have put all that tithing money toward an elaborate wedding at a beautiful reception center instead; especially considering our entire family could have attended-- not just those who fork over so much money to the church.

Fatiguing. You just can't put on your silly clothes, then head to the ceiling room, no everyone has to take out their endowments first. Even if they have all already done so, they still have to sit through the temple movie, and place dress up. If either bride or groom has not previously done so, they have to do the washings on top of everything as well. This can be an all day affair, just to get to the end of the thing, where you sit around the altar in silly cult costumes, to take out your endowment.

Did that man rent a tuxedo for the special day? Doesn't matter, because he will be wearing a white dress shirt, cheap white temple slacks, a bakers cap, a green felt apron, and a toga that looks like he's going to a frat party with Jim Belushi. Wife-to-be bought a special wedding dress? Well this is even more fun. Prepare to add fake, ugly ass sleeves to the dress (God really hates looking at women, and prefers they cover up in his house), the same green felt apron and robe, plus a really horrible looking vail that she must cover her face with, because again, God is really afraid of cooties.

All this, the the ceiling rooms are really small, so not only can your parents not attend if they are not worthy, neither can all your friends and family, even if they are TBM temple recommend holders. But that's okay, who wants to have any of those people at their wedding anyway? I mean, it isn't like weddings and marriages are a traditional way of publicly professing your love for each other in both western and eastern cultures.

You then take out a bunch of vowels together, about God, and serving him, but nothing really about serving each other, because it is really God's special day, not yours. I mean, according to Mormon doctrine, you could and should just marry any random other person, provided they are of the opposite gender, and a card carrying Mormon, but you only have one God, from all the thousands of other Gods people believe/have believed in, that you have chosen to give your life to.

After that, there is normally an alcohol free reception in a dirty basketball gym, that smells horrible because the person who was supposed to empty the garbage that morning, and clean up the place, forgot it was their turn. Mormons will then turn out, to eat by the numbers, including lots of Mormons you don't know, just long enough to eat the free food your are providing, maybe leave a crappy gift you didn't register for (if they are generous) then take off in a flash so they can go home in order to get ready for church the very next day, because it is Sunday, and they have to learn to be better people, by hearing the same exact lesson they have heard a hundred times over.

Then after it is all done, the new happy couple gets to either experience the joys of sexual disappointment that comes from neither knowing what the hell they are doing, and over imagining just how great sex is going to be their first time, or they get to live in shame for the next several years, because they secretly lied to everyone about being virgins, and they now think God is going to punish them for going into his house all nasty and stuff.

Really? I thought that it was now common to do the endowment ahead of time so you can just do the "pull her through the veil" thing and get on with the sealing.

If the bride or groom have not had their endowments before (and the bride very often has not), they dress up in the costumes before and go through an endowment. The woman wears her wedding dress, but the old biddies who volunteer to judge the woman's outfit for decency often make her wear dickies and sleeve extensions if they find her wedding garb offensive. She is also not allowed to wear the veil, because women's temple costumes come with a veil of sorts. So many of the brides start out under a cloud by dealing with the cranky biddies in the bride room.

They to through the endowment, and when the woman goes through, her husband is the guy at the veil on the other side, and she gets to pass him the super-secret "new name" that they are never to forget, or else he can't call her forth to be his bride in the hereafter. (This is one of the most stupid aspects of what's left of the temple doctrine, if you ask me.)

All fatigued by the stupid endowment ceremony, they go to the sealing room. If many of their friends are pronounced "worthy" (they pay tithing and gain admittance to the temple), they will have an audience. Some temples allow guests to not go through an endowment or dress up, so often they will be in suits and dress and wearing the white booties. The couple kneel across from each other at the veil, take their hands in the "patriarchal grip" ("Second Token of the Melch. Priesthood," or "Sure Sign of the Nail"), and the officiator pronounces the magical words. Afterward, the officiator, if he is in a good mood, will say some kind words and they always do that thing of having you stand and look in the repeating mirrors which makes you look like your going off into eternity, and then they give a thing about being married for eternity.

The event lasts about 10-15 minutes, depending on how long it takes to wrangle and corral all the attendees, and you go back and change. This is the point where the bride can put on all her stuff and greet the whole party outside, whereupon the wedding photos start. They make it look like you were all dressed in your wedding garb while in the temple and that the temple is a nice place. Then you go off for luncheon or whatever, as normal. But Mormon receptions differ in that people often have them in the chapel gym where they hang balloons from the basketball hoops. Utah Mormons like to spread out every gift the bride has received, no matter how cheap, and otherwise assist in the event's tackiness. If there are what Mormons call "refreshments" or a luncheon, it will always involve Jell-O dishes with fruit and veg cut up in them, thereby really capping off the tackiness. Catered Mormon weddings are rare, because the culture is one of being on the cheap.

When the couple retire, it is often the first time for them--it's certainly supposed to be. Bad sex is had by all, but the girl may actually be impregnated, which is what it is all about. The day is considered very productive.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2014 08:53AM by cludgie.

...using our TBM family's recent practices this is the perfect description. And below is a list of reasons why:

1-PHOTOS of the couple taken in full wedding regalia [mind you these are not just portraits of the bride but both husband and wife], taken at least a month before the actual wedding at the temple as if they had just been married.

2-FLOWERS-not used in the temple ceremony-but will be used at the reception and the ones is above stated photos are obviously not the ones used at the reception

3-BRIDE'S MAIDS AND GROOM'S MEN-these too have no place in the temple but photos of the "reception" will typically show there was a full complement

4-family, friends and the wedding party not wearing their "dress-up" clothes to the temple but fully decked out for the "reception"

In the last TBM family wedding the mother of the bride did not even wear the same dress to the wedding that she wore to the reception.

I missed a lot and could go on and on but you get the point.

Don't forget the phony cake. I've been to multiple Mormon weddings where some or all of the wedding cake is frosted Styrofoam. My SIL used to decorated cakes in Utah to put herself through her undergraduate work and this was very common, since at a lot of Mormon receptions, the cake isn't cut til the very end, so all the people at the drop-in reception can see the cake. The top level is usually real, so they can freeze it and often the bottom level is so they can cut it and feed it to each other at the very end of the reception. But the other levels aren't real cake because they would have tons of cake left over, since the guests for the first hour and a half, were served something else - bakery sheet cakes, cheesecake, cream puffs. I had a heck of a tussle with my MIL-to-be because I wanted the cake cut at the beginning of the reception and served and she wanted me to leave it up for display and to serve misc. cakelets. We compromised by cutting it exactly half way through and I specifically assigned one of my friends to watch the time and come get me AND serve out the cake after we cut it.

We still ended up with way too much left over though.

At the temple there is no music, no flowers, no beautiful dress, no personalized vows, no rings, no candles, no ring bearer or flower girls. And (if you are a convert) no mother to help the bride dress, no sister to be the maid of honor, no best man, no father to walk his daughter down the aisle.

You don't have to go through an endowment session before your wedding. I did the endowment a week before because I had seen the look on my sister's face the day she married in the SLC temple and I wasn't going to do that. So--we just showed up at 9:30 and were done about 10 or 10:30

And it is NOTHING special. It is boring.

I don't know if this is still the case, but weddings (not sealings) can't be done in the chapel. There is no pomp, no candles, no ceremony, no readings. You might as well just go to the city clerk and staple your papers together.
The attitude (among the members attending) is sad because you either did not go to the temple or you are doing it as a means to satisfy your mortal existence and non-member family or friends. Its not a man and a woman marriage unless you do it in the temple.

Another thing about Mormon wedding receptions is that they often have more than one, especially if one set of parents lives in another state. My TBM ex was invited to one of these receptions hosted by the groom's family because the actual ceremony was in the SLC temple as the bride was from Utah, while the groom was from California. Obviously, they met at BYU, and since the groom had a job in California, they ended up attending the local ward. As my ex never knew the couple, and barely knew the groom's parents, we skipped that boring reception. The only reason we got an invitation was that the groom's family mailed them to everyone listed in the ward directory.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2014 03:17PM by adoylelb.

The dual reception thing happens sometimes when the couples' hometowns are 20 minutes or so apart. An acquaintance of mine had receptions in Pleasant Grove, UT and Draper, UT.

It'snot just a Utah thing, either. A guy who works at my hospital had the dual reception thing in Ventura, CA, and Santa Barbara, CA, which are well under an hour's driving time apart except in horrendous traffic.

adoylelb Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Another thing about Mormon wedding receptions is
> that they often have more than one, especially if
> one set of parents lives in another state. My TBM
> ex was invited to one of these receptions hosted
> by the groom's family because the actual ceremony
> was in the SLC temple as the bride was from Utah,
> while the groom was from California. Obviously,
> they met at BYU, and since the groom had a job in
> California, they ended up attending the local
> ward. As my ex never knew the couple, and barely
> knew the groom's parents, we skipped that boring
> reception. The only reason we got an invitation
> was that the groom's family mailed them to
> everyone listed in the ward directory.

Well, when I got married in the IF temple in 1970, there was NO exchanging of rings. After it was all over, the sealer told us we could go off in the corner and give each other our rings...how romantic.

And, I have been to more than one wedding reception that was held the night or two BEFORE the actual wedding! The first one I went to I was just astonished! I asked someone what the heck was that all about and was told that it was a popular thing now so that the wedding day wouldn't be so stressful and the bride and groom could get on their way to the honeymoon right after the pictures were taken. Seriously??

Or, if you're already sealed to your husband and you're marrying someone new, you get to be married in the RS room in the same exact spot where your husband just held a funeral for his last wife.

a larger mint with a picture of the temple embossed on it - now that would make me GAG. I haven't had the displeasure.

"and otherwise assist in the event's tackiness. If there are what Mormons call "refreshments" or a luncheon, it will always involve Jell-O dishes with fruit and veg cut up in them, thereby really capping off the tackiness. Catered Mormon weddings are rare, because the culture is one of being on the cheap." -
and 9 times out of 10, the jello is green jello. This is no joke - Utah sells more green jello than anyplace on earth. Much of it is for Mo weddings or funerals. The worst is green jello with carrots in it. GAG! At my uncle's funeral, there were no less than 5 separate dishes (brought by members of the RS) made with green jello as the base. One was actually sweet with Cool Whip and pineapples. It actually tasted OK.

"at least half a dozen bridesmaids in tacky matching dresses" - in all fairness, this in NOT just a Mo thing. I work in the wedding industry and bridesmaids in all kinds of religious and non-religious weddings are often in tacky matching horrible dresses. I have seen a few quite pretty bridesmaids dresses but only a FEW.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2014 05:19PM by verilyverily.

Only two receptions? Why, when some of our children got married, there were at least THREE. Yes, the first near the temple. the second where one spouse came from and a third where the other spouse's family lived. BTW, about the receptions. I refused even for our children to spend hours in a receiving line. We had several with sitdown dinners. Very non-LDS. And even some dancing with live music. Why do mos have receptions on the cheap and torture the families?

This. When my oldest nephew got married they had a reception in her hometown, his hometown and in Provo for their college friends.

As others mentioned, you're marrying the Church more than you're marrying each other.

An old man speaks about making sure you read scriptures together.

You shake your soon to be wife's/husband's hand when you make your vows/covenants in a special grip.

Then you kiss.

Lots and lots of mirrors around, supposed to represent eternity. Some tears. Very solemn and quiet occasion.

Oh, and the best part, the part that made me laugh so hard inside when I heard it, was when the temple worker told people not to do the "slap on the back" when hugging/congratulating the couple on the way out. It's just too loud. Lol.

About the reception: the wedding I went to had a quite nice reception, I thought. There were a lot of good refreshments, including a chocolate fountain where you could dip lots of fruit in. I don't know, maybe Canadians just do it better :P

I am an exmormon and I am all about getting the truth out about what Mormons are really like but if you have never actually been a mormon or experienced things like a wedding yourself please don't comment. Some of you on here are way off. I was actually married in the temple and CAgirl has the most accurate description, except exchanging rings is not actually part of the ceremony and can be completely left out. As far as the reception some of you talk as if mints and nuts are mandatory when actually. The reception depends on the amount of money they have to spend on it. Mormons do not usually spend tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars on weddings typically it is around $5000. As far as the sex is concerned nobody knows what they are doing their first time. Why is it so bad to learn to have great sex with the person you love the most in the whole world? Don't you have to perfect sex in any relationship because everyone likes different stuff?

I don't know what a Mormon wedding is like; I've never been and even if I had been invited, I would have had to sit outside with the rest of the unwashed "gentiles" and unworthy "members."

When I was at the temple marriage of friends, some exchanged rings at the altar, after they were pronounced married and others saved it for a ring ceremony afterwards, although I don't think they have those now.