I found exmormon.org several years ago and have been visiting the site very often although I've only started posting within the last few months. I'm fearful to continue posting for fear that the church will somehow be able to find out how who I am via the computer I use or maybe look at the personal information I've shared. Is this a possibility that the church will find out who I am or am I free to post as often as I'd like? Thank you for any responses as I am not that computer literate.

No way can they find that out unless you reveal information about yourself that gives it away.

Through your personal computer, no (unless you are on a BYU network.) A member might be able to identify you through personal details that you choose to share. That's why it's best to keep things a bit vague. Feel free to fudge details where it doesn't matter (number of kids you have, where you live, etc.)

This also begs the question has anyone ever been outed prematurely because of TBM lurkers finding them here and reporting them to the bishop?

Not really. In the seven years I have been here the only "outings" I have heard of come from family members and maybe fellow ward members who have recognized a persons writing style,personal details or username, or maybe somebody left a computer unsecured and a spouse may have found the site through reviewing the computers history.

I think the consensus is that your biggest threat comes from people who know you and have access to your computer. The church itself is lurking here, but their interest so far seems to be the overall "chatter" of what is being discussed. Some conference talks and Ensign articles have been about recent topics we have discussed, but no, it doesn't look like they currently have an interest in who individuals who post here are.

I have heard of Bishops finding out,but like anything else Mormon, your Bishop may or may not care.Usually it is just something they will tell you not to do.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/16/2014 12:27PM by whiskeytango.

I wish

Me too! Bring on the Excommunication!

That would be fun.

Thank you everyone for your replies! I appreciate the help and support that we all give each other -- this really puts my mind at ease. Talk about being paranoid, but when it comes to the church, I put NOTHING past them!

since you mentioned not being computer literate - Do you know about- computer, browser window, under tools, clear history ?

Teach him how to go incognito.

A few folks have been outed by revealing personal details or the tenor of their posts. But that's easily preventable -- don't post details that personally identify you.

On the technical side, RfM doesn't require registration. So there's no RfM link between a username and something like, say, an email address or actual name.

RfM does track IP addresses of where posts come from. If somebody wanted to pursue a legal case against you, they could subpoena RfM for the IP records, then subpoena your ISP for their IP issuance at the time of the post. That would give them a physical address, from which they can in turn extrapolate names. However, for a forum like this, such action is virtually unheard of.

Additionally, RfM does not use HTTPS. So anything you post can be read in cleartext by whomever's running your network. Post at home, and you're fine. If you're on BYU's network (to name just one example), whatever you post can be tracked back to an individual MAC address if they're recording traffic, a MAC address than can be used to pinpoint the user at time of use if you're subject to their access control policies (ie, not on one of their guest networks).

So, to keep safe:
-- Don't use personally identifying information
-- To keep extra safe, don't use networks you don't trust.

On that note, use a VPN and the Inprivate browsing option in IE and you're covered from over zealous network admins or snooping through your internet history.

VPN will help if you've got something setup to connect to.

InPrivate won't help in the case of a wary network admin, though. InPrivate just prevents cookies and does not log browser history -- network transactions function as they normally would.

VPN is probably the best bet for people that are very security-conscious, and is definitely a point worth making.

And I just reread your post and realized you're right on both counts, so my apologies if I sounded like I was disagreeing with you.

It was poorly worded the first time :)

I should have been more specific. VPN for network admins (like on a BYU network), Inprivate for snooping family/spouse.

No.

But why are you so afraid?

The Mormon church has no power to compel you to do anything.

Being a Mormon does not mean you gave up your legal rights as an American citizen.
Exercise them.

You know something is wrong when this is a common fear. What non-dangerous organization would have people fearful that they would be found out for being not completely loyal?

After all, what can they do to you? It's not like they're going to cut your throat open, or send out a secret society of vigilantes to hunt you down. Okay... maybe that's not so funny. I once had the same fears that prevented me from saying what I really think. The point is that if you want to heal up, you're going to have to get past that fear. I started here, and eventually got to where I'll spill the religion's dirty laundry to anyone who wants to know. In person, I'll say anything I believe to anyone. On the www, I stay anonymous. There's no need to provide the church with searchable, electronic information about you. Besides, they probably don't care so much about you and I. It's guys like Benson and Phillips who are inflicting the cult's mortal wounds (just kidding guys). And you don't have to outrun the bear. You just have to outrun the other campers (just kidding again). The truth is that yes, it's scarry... at first, and not so much as you heal. But life is full of risks. At whatever the cost, I refuse to live under oppression. You can't refuse to fight back out of the hope that the bully won't harm you so long as you don't fight back. More power to people like Benson and Phillips who are fully committed.

I had these same fears when I first came here and I also worried when I first posted and thought about changing information so that no one would know who I was and then reality hit me. I don't care!! Out me, so what, I just don't care anymore. I am so tired of being worried about what others think of me. This clarity has shown me so much of what is wrong with the church. Normal people shouldn't be so fearful and many of us are, that speaks volumes about the control of the church. I am just so sick of it. I am so happy to be free. So happy that I went out today with my friend and drank coffee, fricken baby steps.

Much love to you all, you have given me the strength to break my chains. I wish well to all those still struggling. You will be okay, yo really will.

Gradually, you realize that even if they DO figure out who you are, (especially if you have already resigned!) THEY CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!!!

If you are a U S citizen, you're covered by this little number in the Constitution called "Freedom of Speech." Contrary to what the church might suggest, it does NOT have more authority than constitutional law!

Enjoy your freedom. It's wonderful!

They can pray about it and the Spirit will give them a burning bosom. Do you believe in burning bosoms?

Thank you, again, for your continuing posts.

The only reason I was worried is that I didn't want my family knowing that I had my name removed from church records. I'm trying to be as respectful of my family's feelings as possible -- they're all TBM.

And I will keep personal things vague. But at least I feel free to express my opinions and feelings when dealing with the church. What "squeebee' said up above about 'You know something is wrong when this is a common fear..." is absolutely right -- sometimes you think YOU'RE crazy for all of the paranoia regarding the church but the more I read on this board the more I realize it's actually NOT paranoia -- all (or most) of the things that have happened to us are the TRUTH when it comes to the church...

As long as you are reasonably discreet on this board, you should be fine. However when your parents go to tithing settlement, they will see your name at the bottom of the readout with no ordinance dates for you. Some parents are able to figure it out from there.

A good way to keep the browser history free of coming here is to download a different internet browser program (like Chrome) for private browsing, and then clear its history after each use and/or use a new "Incognito Window".

Clearing Chrome's history won't clear your other browser's history. This keeps your regular browser history intact so it does not look like you're clearing the history which could look suspicious in and of itself.

"The only reason I was worried is that I didn't want my family knowing that I had my name removed from church records. I'm trying to be as respectful of my family's feelings as possible -- they're all TBM."

I don't see that as showing respect - I see it as being afraid of how they'll react to you choosing your own path. Are you dependent on them for survival?

Essentially they are control freaks, with no respect for you, but you feel required to show respect for them.

If parents truly loved their children, they would be happy when their children are happy. Otherwise they are using you to fulfill their own needs (status, etc). That is selfishness.

So, maybe it is time for your family members to grow up and take care of their own needs and let you take care of yours.

So remember, they really don't care about you.

Church virtual thugs do lurk here, but it's mainly to track what we talk about and how to try to counter or mitigate it. I also think that when a BYU student or LDS missionary gets on here and gripes about the church, that they are in danger of exposing themselves and doing themselves some danger. But as a rule, the church can't do anything about the rest of us. I once made my identity known here, and a local LDS leader who was the subject of an investigation used some of the stuff I posted here on RfM against me, and I had to attend a deposition because of it. So it is best to be more discrete than I was.

Or if you reveal too much real life information when you post.

If you post your membership number I should be able to answer you....