If, in fact, the Book of Mormon gold plates were delivered to Joseph Smith not by an angel but by a white salamander (as Mark Hofmann's eventually exposed. forged Martin Harris letter claimed), then, back when that news broke, the Mormon Church had some big-time explainin' to do.

By the way, here's that magic moment, caught forever on Candid Cult Camera:

http://www.google.com/imgres?biw=1093&bih=438&tbm=isch&tbnid=Rl8TMBjkBIhIAM%3A&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdefendingcontending.com%2F2011%2F01%2F14%2Fmark-hofmanns-parole-board-letter-released%2F&docid=iwoh_QAYz5lkdM&imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdefendingcontending.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F01%2Fmark-hofmann-parole-board-letter-photo.jpg&w=636&h=425&ei=bSsHU52YFYHaoASvuoHgAQ&zoom=1&ved=0CFoQhBwwAg&iact=rc&dur=228&page=1&start=0&ndsp=10
_____


In the meantime, never fear, FARMS is here.

Below are examples of the hilarious attempts by that "research wing" of the Mormon Church to, at all costs, sanctify the Salamander for Smith and his Saints.

The really pathetic part of all this is that FARMS actually believed Hofmann's forgery was, like, true. Seriously. Obviously, their Holy Ghost was on an extended vacation.

Oh, but at the time what a great prophet photo-op, complete with with fake prop, that it was:

http://defendingcontending.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/mark-hofmann-paro...
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First, a brief review is in order of relevant portions of Hofmann's phony "White Salamander" letter--supposedly written by Martin Harris to W. W. Phelps--and which served for a time to snooker the Lord's "prophets, seers and revelators":

"Palmyra Oct 23rd 1830

"Dear Sir

". . . Joseph Smith Jr. first come to my notice in the year 1824 in the summer of that year I contracted with his father to build a fence on my property . . . [Smith's father] . . . says Joseph can see any thing he wishes by looking at a stone Joseph often sees Spirits here with great kettles of coin money it was Spirits who brought up rock because Joseph made no attempt on their money I later dream I converse with spirits which let me count their money when I awake I have in my hand a dollar coin which I take for a sign Joseph describes what I seen in every particular says he the spirits are greived so I through back the dollar In the fall of the year 1827 I hear Joseph found a gold bible I take Joseph aside & he says it is true I found it 4 years ago with my stone but only just got it because of the enchantment the old spirit come to me 3 times in the same dream & says dig up the gold but when I take it up the next morning the spirit transfigured himself from a white salamander in the bottom of the hole and struck me 3 times & held the treasure & would not let me have it because I lay it down Joseph says when can I have it the spirit says one year from today if you obey me look to the stone after a few days he looks the spirit says bring your brother Alvin Joseph says he is dead shall I bring what remains but the spirit is gone Joseph looks but can not see who to bring the spirit says you did not bring your brother you can not have it look to the stone Joseph looks but can not see who to bring the spirit says I tricked you again look to the stone Joseph looks & sees his wife on the 22nd day of Sept 1827 they get the gold bible--" (1)
_____

--To Arms! To Arms! Calling the Boys at FARMS

Oh, my heck!

How to dig the Mormon Cult out of this one--especially in light of the faith-promoting yarn that Joseph Smith got the gold plates from a Book of Mormon prophet-warrior-turned-angel-named-Moroni--not from some flaming toad?

Specializing in the art of the absurd, the FARMS manure ministry of LDS, Inc. offered (with all the due diligence and seriousness that they could bring to bear in their secret underwear) a bizarre hodgepodge of "explanations" as to why Joseph Smith may have really and truly encountered not the Angel Moroni but, rather, a Celestial Salamander.

FARMS did so in a phony-baloney document of its own, entitled "Moses, Moroni and the Salamander," published in completely and deadly seriousness in June 1985. (2)

It stands as the Keystone Cops of their religion--a burning testimony, if you will, of the lengths to which Mormon apologists are willing to go in proving just what toadies they, too, can be.
_____

--Researching Righteous Reptiles

Let the FARMS spin begin:

"Martin Harris's letter of 23 October 1830 to Wm. W. Phelps (published in 'Church News,' 28 April 1985) has dismayed some people. . . .

"We may never know whether this description was an embellishment on the part of Harris, or an allegory employed by Joseph Smith, or whether Moroni somehow chose to appear to Joseph out of, or in the form of, a salamander. But since Phelps joined the Church after reading Harris' letter, he must not have found the allusion to a salamander very disconcerting.

"In fact, as new research is showing, the salamander has been thought for millennia to have supernatural and extraordinary powers." (3)
_____

--Not to Worry: People Actually Once Thought Salamanders Lived in Fire.

The FARMS crew then offered the following "facts" to the faithful:

"Well into the 19th century, it was commonly believed that salamanders 'lived in, or were able to endure, fire.' . . . Long before, even Aristotle--of all people--reported [that the] '. . . salamander shows that certain animals are naturally proof against fires, for it is said to extinguish a flame by passing through it.' . . ." (4)
_____

--Fanning the Flames: The Birthplace of the Salamander

FARMS' faithfully-fabulous fiction continued:

". . . [S]alamanders were thought to be 'generated in fire.' The great Rabbi Akiba held to this view . . . Other rabbis, including the noted Rashi, debated whether the fire had to be heated for seven days, seven years or seventy years to produce a salamander that would appear walking and flying in the midst of the fire. . . ." (5)
_____

--I See Salamander Spirits

It got even better:

". . . [S]alamanders were often associated with spirits. In Germany, salamanders were thought to be . . . weather-prophets . . . and house-protector spirits. . . . In the Middle Ages, the salamander denoted 'a being possessing the shape of a man, whose element was the fire, or who at least could live in that element. . . . Earth, air, fire and water, each had a spirit--for fire, it was the salamander." (6)
_____

--The Still Small Salamander's Voice to Earth: This Is God Calling

Please, tell us more:

". . . [S]alamanders were associated with the voice of God and with the Holy Ghost! . . . [W]e find that the rabbis of the 9th Century A.D. and before believed that . . .

"[O]ne of these things God showed Moses on Mt. Sinai was the salamander . . . ' In 1841, the baptistry of Winchester Cathedral in England bore the figure of a salamander, alluding to the words, 'He shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost, and with fire.' . . ." (7)
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--Salamander Garments as Fire Insurance

Can you feel the burning in the bosom?:

"Since the salamander was said to endure fire, it was thought to protect others against burning, including hell-fire. The rabbis remarked that hell could not harm scribes . . . [and] flames cannot hurt one who is anointed with salamander blood . . . ' A similar popular belief seems to stand behind Austrian lore relating the salamander to the atoning suffering of Christ. The Zohar . . . mentions protective garments of salamander skin." (8)
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--Holy Flying Toad, Batman! You Mean Jesus Was a Salamander?

Now the FARMS fantastic voyage really took off:

"Not far removed from these ideas . . . are [those] depicted by the biblical phrase 'fiery flying serpents.' Were they 'salamanders'? A brass model of this reptile symbolized Jesus himself, who commanded Moses to put it up on a pole, so the people who had been bitten could look to it and live . . . ." (9)
_____

--Behold, I Am the Resurrection and the Salamander

As man is now, God once was; As God is now, man may likewise become a salamander:

"Eternal life and resurrection were also symbolized by the salamander. The Arabic word for both the salamander and the phoenix, which could die and rise again out of its own ashes, was samandal. . . ." (10)
_____

--Remember, People Are Salamanders, Too

FARMS then tried to give salamanders a human face:

"People too were sometimes called salamanders. Shakespeare calls a fiery-red face a 'salamander.' . . .

"[S]oldiers who courageously exposed themselves to fire in battle [were also called salamanders]. Thomas Brooks in 1670 wrote, 'God's people are true salamanders, that live best in the fire of afflictions.' . . ." (11)
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--The Good, the Bad and the Salamanders

FARMS nevertheless then cautioned against reckless trusting of toads:

"Not all salamanders were good, however. The ['spectacularly colored'] poisonous ones . . . were linked with evil spirits. But the non-poisonous good ones were white or grey-brown." (12)
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--I Saw A Salamander Flying in the Midst of Heaven

FARMS finally tried to make a purse out of an amphibian's ear, in a valiant flame-out attempt to throw a positive light on the notion of heavenly messengers descending to Earth as Kolobic reptilians bringing tidings of great joy:

"Some of us may wince at the suggestion that an angel of God should be associated with, or described as, a salamander.

"But to people then, no image or description would beter fit the apearnce of a brilliant white spiritual being, once a valiant soldier, now dwelling in a blazing pillar of light, shockingly pure and glorious, speaking with the voice of God while flying through the midst of Heaven, than the salamander! Moroni should be flattered. . . ." (13)
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--Spinning for Salamanders: Stay Tuned, There's More to Come

FARMS researchers promised even more exciting discoveries:

"Further research is underway. . . . In the end, [it] may lead to a a less 'modern' view of many symbolically meaningfully events: a burning bush; a talking ass; a flaming sword; a tempting snake; the Lord with seven horns and seven eyes; a descending dove; and a salamandrine angel." (14)
_____

--I Would Like to Bury You, My Salamander

What a beautiful thing the Mormon gospel is.

And, now, thanks to this kind of restoration research, so much more believable, too!
_____

--Endnotes

(1) "Typescript of Letter of Martin Harris to William W. Phelps, 23 October 1830," Attachment 1, in "Preliminary Report: Why Might a Person in 1830 Connect An Angel with a Salanmander?," STF-85b, FARMS Staff, Foundation for Ancient Research & Mormon Studies, P.O. Box 7113, University Station, Provo, Utah 84602, copyright 1985

(2) "Moses, Moroni, and the Salamander," FARMS Staff, in FARMS "UPDATE," transcript, copyright June 1985, p. 1. "The 'Preliminary Report'" (noted above in endnote #1), followed the UPDATE document.

(3) "UPDATE," p. 1

(4) ibid.

(5) ibid.

(6) ibid.

(7) ibid.

(8) ibid.

(9) ibid.

(10) ibid., p. 2

(11) ibid.

(12) ibid.

(13) ibid.

(14) ibid.



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2014 05:47AM by steve benson.

The whole salamander thing was my first introduction to Mopolgetics.

I recall visiting my folks in So. Cal., sitting down at the kitchen table, and thumbing through the L.A. Times. I happened to turn to the Religion section and saw a picture of Dallin Oaks. It was next to an article that he had written. In the article he was justifying how a salamander made sense. He was saying something to the effect that a salamander could live in fire...therefore it made sense that it could be Moroni...blah, blah, blah. I don't remember the whole article content, but I do remember thinking, "WTF!?!? Are you shitting me!?!? Moroni is now a talking amphibian?? Next they are going to tell me that a talking gecko can sell insurance" (I was a little ahead of my time).

I never listened to a thing Oaks ever said after that. I guess I should thank Dallin. He raised a red flag for me that if the church could justify a talking salamander, they could justify just about anything.

... were expressing their doubts about the document from the beginning:

"'At the outset we should state that we have some reservations concerning the authenticity of the ["White Salamander"] letter, and at the present time we are not prepared to say that it was actually penned by Martin Harris. The serious implications of this whole matter, however, cry out for discussion. If the letter is authentic, it is one of the greatest evidences against the divine origin of the Book of Mormon. If, on the other hand, it is a forgery, it needs to be exposed as such so that millions of people will not be mislead [sic]. We will give the reasons for our skepticism as we proceed with this article.'"

(Tanner, Jerald and Sandra, "Tracking the White Salamander: The Story of Mark Hofmann, Murder and Forged Mormon Documents (The Mormon Church and the McLellin Collection)", Chapter 1: The Salamander Murders--ULM'S Investigation, Utah Lighthouse Ministry, 1993; found at: http://www.utlm.org/onlinebooks/trackingch1.htm#ULM%27S%20INVESTIGATION )

steve benson Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>

>
> --Behold, I Am the Resurrection and the
> Salamander
>
> As man is now, God once was; As God is now, man
> may likewise become a salamander:
>


That's it.
I'm convinced.
I'm going back to church..

Can't wait to become the plural wife of a celestial salamander!

hahahahhahahahahahahahhahahaha

What an absolute farce.

And now TRUTH from an official APOSTLE on the matter! lol


Elder Dallin H. Oaks.
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
CES (Church Education System) Symposium on the Doctrine and Covenants and Church History - 16 August 1985 - Brigham Young University.


"As members of the Church, we have the gift of the Holy Ghost. If we will use our spiritual POWERS of DISCERNMENT, WE WILL NOT BE MISLED by the lies and half-truths Satan will circulate in his attempts to deceive us and to thwart the work of God.'

AND JUST A FEW PARAGRAPHS LATER HE EXPLAINS ALL ABOUT THE HOAX SALAMANDER LETTER OF FRAUDSTER MARK HOFFMAN (LDS Mopolgetics style).

"Another source of differences in the accounts of different witnesses is the different meanings that different persons attach to words. We have a vivid illustration of this in the recent media excitement about the word salamander in a letter Martin Harris is supposed to have sent to W. W. Phelps over 150 years ago. All of the scores of media stories on that subject apparently assume that the author of that letter used the word salamander in the modern sense of a 'tailed amphibian.'"

One wonders why so many writers neglected to reveal to their readers that there is another meaning of salamander, which may even have been the primary meaning in this context in the eighteen twenties. That meaning is listed second in a current edition of Webster's' New World Dictionary is a "spirit supposed to live in fire" (2d College ed. 1982, s.v. "salamander'). Modern and ancient literature contain many examples of this usage.

A spirit that is able to live in fire is a good approximation of the description Joseph Smith gave of the angel Moroni: a personage in the midst of a light, whose countenance was 'truly like lightning" and whose overall appearance "was glorious beyond description" (Joseph SmithÑHistory 1:32). As Joseph Smith wrote later, "The first sight [of this personage] was as though the house was filled with consuming fire" (History of the Church - 4:536). Since the letter purports only to be Martin Harris's interpretation of what he had heard about Joseph's experience, the use of the words white salamander and old spirit seem understandable."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2014 06:57AM by zeezrom.

specialist, Dallin H Oaks has been officially called as the patron saint of The Salamander Society with his likeness in the header of that web site.

Thank you Dallin for years of public masturbating mentally with Mormonism as your stimulant. Mormonism = spiritual pornography.

The more Dallin speaks the more he reeks.

I love how FARMS quoted Shakespeare. A author who wrote fiction gives strength to their claims? Sheesh.

How can anyone take them seriously.

I honestly think they push more people over the fence who are questioning than anything else does.

Hell's Bells ... if these people only realized how farcical the whole damn thing is . All of it hinges on a magic rock for God's sake . Kool Aid drinkers indeed .

They all seem to have an idiotic look on their faces...and if you look close enough, you can see the Dollar Signs in Hoffmans eyes!

I was a convert of just a few years then and freshly married in the SLC when this letter came out. I still have the Ensign with that photo of Hofmann and of the other various letters. The temple freaked me out enough and caused me to have some serious concerns, but then came the ridiculous explanations of the salamander letter. I couldn't believe what I was hearing from my wife, her family, and others at church, or rather what I wasn't hearing. Everyone just shrugged it off. Later I found out my very TBM wife had the very same concerns as I did but "doubted her doubts." I really felt like I was in the Twilight Zone since I was the only person outwardly questioning the magical mystery fire creature. I thought for sure that JS and the apologists all must have been on shrooms to believe this crap. I'm surprised this issue doesn't get much attention - it sure got mine!

"I still have the Ensign with that photo of Hofmann and of the other various letters."

I have that too, up in my attic. I think it's the June 1980 issue. One article in it was Hofmann's own story of "finding" the Lucy Mack Smith letter inside an old Smith family Bible.

When lds.org put the content from all the old "Ensigns" on their website, they conveniently omitted the article written by Hofmann. Can't have an article written by a convicted forger and murderer in the Lord's one true monthly magazine.

I was a gospel doctrine teacher at the time this all happened. There were already too many unbelievable things on my mental shelf- there just wasn't any room for left for this onerous piece of crap. Luckily, no one brought it up in GD class because I would have gone off on the whole thing. I told my DH at the time that something was amiss.... little did we know.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/22/2014 12:39PM by polly.

Meanwhile, members like me in the UK didn't know anything about Hoffman. Not faith-promoting and so not for my delicate little ears, apparently.

Every week, all the wards in the church would get a packet of mail from church HQ that included a weekly "Priesthood Bulletin." Being the clerk, I faithfully read the one-or-two page bulletin to see if there were any changes we needed tom implement etc.

This one bulletin, circa 1983 or so, carried a summary of Oaks' nonsensical remarks about the "salamander was a creature who lived in fire" blah blah. Even though I was a TBM at the time, I remember feeling that there was something not quite right about it. It just didn't ring true or make much sense to me. And just a couple of years later, the whole Hoffman case exploded, and Oaks was exposed as a lying fool.

A couple of years before that, I was EQP, when the first Hoffman letter, the Lucy Mack Smith one, made the news. Because it was "faith-promoting," the Church News made a big deal of it. I subscribed to the CN at the time, and that story was so big, that I pre-empted my EQ lesson that Sunday to talk about it. "1828 Lucy Mack Smith letter supports the Joseph Smith story," or something like that.

The church made such a big deal out of it because no pre-BOM era documents were known of which supported Smith's story of the angel and golden plates, etc. All legitimate pre-BOM publications had depicted Smith as a fraud. So when the Lucy letter was exposed as a hoax too, that put the Joseph Smith story right back where it had been before--totally bogus.