I consider myself a fairly well mannered person. So is my TBM wife to a fault. I am now more of a biblical christian and I no longer believe in the mormon church. My wife is TBM. Occasionally, I will omit "please" and she gets all upset telling me it sounds like I am ordering her around. I use to enjoy being well mannered, but now as time goes on, I feel compelled and no long find being well mannered natural. This reminds me of how mormonism functions - that is they compel you to obey and make you feel guilty and they use "free agency" as a distraction. It's all crap. Nothing separates me from my wife more than being reminded that I did not say please or thank you.

Since when were Mormons human? I thought they were Gods in embryo. I hear they are brothers and sisters of Satan and believe their skin changes color when they sin or when they do good Mormon things like tell people to be Mormon their skin turns white.

No one is being rude. The issue is about correcting your 60 year old husband because he fogot to say please once in the last three months. It is not a Problem exclusive to Mormons
But it is part of how they operate.

Just because you're 60 doesn't mean you have to let yourself go in looks or manners.

If it means that much to your wife, keep saying please etc
Surely the peace in your marriage is worth that much and it does not cost you anything.

a form of control or subtle way of putting someone down on a technicality.

I think that is what the original poster is talking about.

I certainly don't say please every time I ask someone to do something. I can still ask nicely. But if someone got upset and said 'you didn't say PLEASE', I would be irritated. So, if I then said "please", would they feel all vindicated or something? And I would definitely be pissed. It just sounds nitpicky to me, like someone is in the mood to nag about something.

Popeyes, I'm not actually sure how I would address this with her. Certainly, examine the tone of voice you used and make sure you are asking nicely. But there has got to be a way to say "Wifey, demanding that I use the word 'please' feels like I'm being scolded as if I'm a child. Do you really feel like I'm bossing you around"?

I'm pretty sure I've read, like 100 times in the "Miss Manners" column that correcting the way people say things is a big breach of etiquette.

Below is an online discussion of this very topic, and there are a lot of different viewpoints:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=656326



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/23/2014 12:19AM by imaworkinonit.

Maybe a lifetime in a church where men have authority over her has made her hypersensitive to having a man tell her what to do in other areas of her life. It doesn't seem like much to ask, in any case. Couldn't it also be considered controlling to deny her a small act of courtesy that you know is very important to her?