Hey everybody. So this is my first time ever using a forum thingamajig, so bear with me.

Here's what's going on. I'm about to leave on a mission for the LDS church. I actually leave in 5 days. State side. And I know for a fact that the Mormon church is not the one and only true church of God here on this earth. In fact, I now know that there isn't a single church that is 'true'. But I do believe in the Bible, and I most certainly know that there is a God, and Jesus is my salvation.

See, I'm 19, and I grew up in the church. And I always thought that what I was being told was true. So lo and behold, I'm absolutely floored when I go through the temple to receive my endowment. That is not of God. So for the next 2 weeks, I get pretty deep into researching the Mormon church. I wasn't going to take it on 'faith', aka that warm fuzzy feeling in my chest. (I figure I thought the church was true, because it had to do with Christ. I didn't question it past that. Oops.)

Well, to my surprise, I dug up a lot of dirt on the church. A whooooole lot. And what I found wasn't just "Anti-Mormon" material. They were cold hard facts, and many came straight from the church's historical records. No wonder we're told not to look at "Anti-Mormon" materials. They prove the church is false!

I mean, we've got Mark Hofmann, the Mountain Meadows Massacre, the death oaths in the pre-1990 endowment ceremony, the Nauvoo Expositor, a complete lack of archaeological evidence to support the Book of Mormon, the inherent racism prevalent throughout, View of the Hebrews, the Kinderhook Plates, etc. The list goes on and on and on! It's disgusting. I've been lied to for 19 years. It was hard enough for me to forgive my mom for leaving me as a kid. How the heck can I ever forgive the church??

And what makes me the most upset is that the teachings of the church contradict what is taught in the Bible. Even as pertaining to our very salvation!! Mormons do so many works, and then believe that after all that we've done, we're saved. No!!!
Christ is our salvation, period! We're saved by faith in Christ. Our works are simply proof of our faith. The sinner on the cross beside Jesus did nothing save it be believe in Christ, even at the last hour, and he was saved. How could the Mormon church so openly mock the sacrifice that Jesus made for us? It makes me sick to my stomach.

So I'm sort of stuck in a moral dilemma. A big one.

Should I go on my mission, to make my family proud?

Or should I call everything off, last minute, and ruin every family tie/friendly relationship I've ever made? (I live in Major Mormonville.)

Personally, I'm leaning towards the mission option. But not for the reasons everyone else goes. I think I really can make a difference in peoples' lives! I can preach and teach about Christ, and the Bible. I won't say anything I don't believe. And maybe I can even get some of my companions to see the truth! Plus, I get the opportunity to leave the house for 2 years and learn how to live as a responsible member of a community. I also get the chance to learn a foreign language. But like I said, the most important opportunity I have here is preaching the true gospel of Christ, as found in the Bible, to people who need to hear it! And yes, I'm sure somewhere along the way my mission president will find out that I just don't believe in what the church says. But I'm hoping that that man has love in his heart, and can understand what I'm doing. Yeah, I may not be spreading his cult's message and baptizing members into the 'covenant' or whatever. But I am sharing the single most important message that ever existed, and that people need to hear! So maybe he'll understand, and let me carry out my work. Because it's not really my work - It's the work of God. Any decent man should understand that.

So on the other option, I could bail. If I do this, though, my life will forever be changed. My family will cut me off, my friends and neighbors will shun me, and the girl that I love more than anything except Jesus and God themselves will think I've lost my mind, and want nothing to do with me. If you think I'm being overly dramatic, I'm not. I've seen this same thing happen with 2 of my high school buddies. They must have been in the same spot I am, except they didn't have their calls. They just called it quits with the church, and they were left destitute on the side of the street. One moved to California to get away from it all, and the other is in his parent's basement, alone and forgotten.

What do I do??



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2014 05:24PM by Susan I/S.

Do you really want to be a member of a religion where your family, friends, and neighbors would feel compelled to treat you in that manner merely for disagreeing with them? Would you want to raise your children in such a religion?

If you insist on going on the mission, I would go for just enough time to formulate a plan to get away. What would you want to be doing if you were not going on a mission?

You are at an ideal point in your life in which to leave the Mormon church. Better now than after you are married in the temple and with one or more children.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2014 12:06AM by summer.

Hmmmm.

You all make great points. But I think with my personality, with who I am, I'm just going to give it a go! Why not? I've got nothing to lose. If I am ousted, then that's cool. No harm done.

And like you said, man. Service. I'd love if my mission was 100% service. That's not going to happen though.

And yeah, I know next to nothing about the roots of Christianity. I'm discovering a lot about myself, and what I believe right now.

The problem is, I can't spout the 'party line'. My conscience simply won't let me do it. So anytime I'm asked to give my testimony, I'll be picking my words very carefully.

The thing is, as soon as I get back home, I'm going to be hitting the road, looking for a job. My parents will probably give me 2 months tops before they kick me out. They won't want me sharing my heresy with my siblings. Which means I lose all chances of getting help with college. I'll be scraping the bucket for a long while. And that's fine. I'm not afraid of going out there and making a name for myself, and shedding some blood, sweat, and tears in the process. It's just going to be pretty tough. Hopefully just as rewarding.

What sucks is I worked during and after high school, since I was 16. And most of that money went to tithing, car repairs and gas, and buying mission clothes, luggage, and the mission itself. The mission itself part is in my parents' bank account. There's no way I'm seeing that money again. So I don't have a whole lot of cash left to just move out. And I don't have any friends except the one in Cali who could help me out, because they're all on missions! It's a pretty crappy situation, now that I think about it.

I figure that if I'm on my mission for a while, then get sent home, I can just BS my parents into thinking it was worthiness or something like that. Then I'll have their sympathy for a while longer, until I can get some solid footing in life. Then it's adios! Not really that honorable of a tactic, but I don't have many choices here.

I think using this time to figure out what I really want to do is great. I could definitely do that. I know what I want my career to be (teaching. I know, I know. Bad pay and all that. But our future generation, my posterity, needs some smarts hammered into those skulls of theirs. Otherwise, you'll have more and more people joining cults like Mormonism! :D ) But I need to figure out exactly how I'm going to make that happen.

So I don't know. These are all great responses, and sound advice. But knowing me, I think I'm just going to wing it and see what happens. I'm a gambling man, no doubt! And it will be quite the story to tell to my grand-kids. Hahah.

What do you guys think? Stupid? Risky? Worth it in the end?

You say that you have nothing to lose, but what about two years of your life? And two very prime years at that. As far as the money, if you earned it, what is it doing in your parents' bank account? Is there some way that you could finesse getting it into an account of your own? That's your freedom right there. If it's a custodial account (under your name *and* your parents' names,) then just get their names taken off of the account. I did it when I turned 18. It isn't difficult.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2014 09:05AM by summer.

The question is do you really want to waste 2 years essentially locked up. A mission may as well be called young adult prison.

Now the question is how to get out of going on mission. For myself, I would have stated that I am too scared to go door to door and that I would be sure I could handle it. I'm not sure how well it would work since I was able to make an exit without trouble. I suppose there are other claims that can be used to at least try to stall for time going on a mission so that you have extra time to make your exit.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2014 01:01AM by Anon Dunn.

You are gonna hate going on a mission and wasting every minute of everday trying to find someone to believe you.

Then when you find out the Bible is fictional....you are really going to regret going on a mission.

Quite simply, you make the choice that you think you can live with. But I wouldn't expect a terribly sympathetic MP. And if I were you, and was going on the mission, you will have to walk the LDS line the whole time. Teaching anything else won't be acceptable and your companion may be the person to rat you out, so you need to be careful.

You are a little idealistic and young and have a lot of living left to do, and only you can decide what path is right for you.

If you think you can make a go of the mission for two years, and you think your life will be better for it, then go. But just be careful because from what you have said, if you get found out and kicked off your mission, you may not be in any better of a place than you would be by not going.

I have a TBM son on a mission right now. I left Mormonism and rejoined my Mainline Protestant church. I'll tell you the same thing I told my son...

If you go on your mission, do so to serve others, not seek converts. Service will not ever hurt or disappoint, seeking for converts will do both.

Your last paragraph is rather telling...when I joined the LDS church my family threatened to disown me...yes, you read correctly. Unintentionally, they pushed me deeper into
Mormonism. I can not, recommend that you put yourself in a position of harm, if you parents are going to go apeshit.

Please do some soul searching about your relationship with your parents. Afterwards, if your decision is to go, do so with service only in mind.

Very best wishes! The Boner.

You're kinda in a pickle Bro.

But from my own Mission experience let me just remind you of one little flaw in your plan.

The only thing that i knew less of than the origins of the LDS Church i was forced to grow up in...were the origins of orthodox Christianity itself.

Food for thought perhaps if you have the courage and integrity to investigate it (Christianity) as thoroughly as you claim you have your congenital religion.

I'm still waiting for someone to write the "CES-Letter" on Christianity.

Personally i think you will be miserable on your Mission with your intended game-plan in addition to not getting very far with it. If you're not walking and talking and spewing the "party line" you will stick out like a sore thumb and your companions will make your "up-line" Elders aware of it (DL's & ZL's & AP's).

But what the heck...maybe give it a college-try and let us all know how long you were able to "fake it". Might be worth having a fantastic story to tell your Grand-kids someday!

Or so it seems to me...

You can always say the temple startled you so much that you need more time.
Then go to college and move on.

I hope you can exercise that option instead of wasting two years of your life recruiting others to work for a cult.

Good luck !

+ Stall for time! Like recommended above! Have heard some suggestions on stalling at forum.newordermormon (.org)

Life is not about fantastic stories. It is about living the life you were meant to live.

I don't think you were meant to mimic the ethics of religious liars that tricked you your whole life. Why would you want to walk in their footsteps, only being your own man in secret?

The men we admire in history, like Sir Thomas More, kept their values in the face of tremendou pressure, even to the point of death. You are considering abandoning yours just because your parents and girlfriend would disapprove.

You only have one life on earth, why not be noble and life an authentic life trading honor and integrity to no one for anything?

If you start your life with two years of conditioning as a professional liar, do you honestly think you will come back an honest man? Will Jesus be proud of you? Remember he sees into your heart and knows that you know the Mormon church is not of him.

Focus on becoming the best man you can be and act on your own values, those are what's real--not the lying for the lord skills you learned from evil man who do not follow or know Christ. Do not ally yourself with such as these.

To thine own self be true. You will have no regrets if you live by this.


Kathleen Waters

Kathleen, isn't there any alternative, though? Can't I go, but go with the knowledge that I'm only trying to help others, not spread a lie? I don't intend whatsoever to endorse or support Mormonism. My talks will be from the Bible. My message will be about Christ, as found in the Bible. I plan in no way to associate myself with Mormonism. I'm simply trying to take advantage of this situation. It provides me with the opportunity to learn who I really am, to test me. I feel I have more to gain from going - on my own terms - than calling it off last minute, and essentially pushing the self-destruct button on my life. There is honor yet in going for the cause which I seek to endorse, right?

You wouldn't be selling mainstream Christianity, though. You would be selling Mormonism.

Summer is correct. You will be selling Mormonism, not Christianity. Do you even know what orthodox Christianity teaches? You have been reading the Bible through a distorting Mormon lense for 19 years. It is quite different to read the Bible in a modern translation without the Mormon lense.

If you want to learn about Christianity and convert, than learn from a priest/pastor of a real Christian church.

My advice is to bite the bullet and not go on a mission. It will be difficult for you to be honest but it will be easier now than it will be after you marry your nice Mormon girlfriend in the temple. What are you going to tell her when you come out as a Christian post mission and she is expecting a temple marriage? Look at the lives of the martyred saints such as Thomas More and countless others. They were honest and had integrity.

Trust me, it is difficult to deal with the fall out from Mormon family but it is easier to deal with it sooner rather than later. I was naive when I came out to my family. I thought they would listen to me and leave Mormonism with me. Yeah, that didn't happen. But I do not regret for one day that I was honest with them and myself.

Only you can decide what is best for you. You know your situation in your fully, not us. But going on a mission to keep the folks happy has consequences. What about yourself? Why is it your job to make them happy with your life choices? What about your feelings? What about your integrity?

I'm not sure where you get the idea of service on a mission. Your service is selling the church. If you are TBM, you believe this is the greatest gift ever. If not, you know what a curse it is.

Do you want to lie to people? You will be expected to bear your testimony about how much you love the church. How would you feel if a missionary came and lied to you about his intimate feelings towards his church?

If you want service, go Teach for America. Volunteer at your local library. There are lots of service opportunities in your neighborhood and you will have almost no time for service on your mission.

Do missionaries do service? Once in a while, but it is for marketing purposes, not to help the community.

You are kinda in denial here. You will be perceived by the people you come in contact with that you are promoting Mormonism. You may think you are doing them a service, but you are not. If they join the Mormon church because of you,that is no service to anyone. Lying and lack of integrity will do you in. Why go there just to please the people in your life?

I definitely wouldn't go if I were you. Two years is a long time to be representing something falsely. I couldn't wait to go home by the end of the two years, and I was a TBM the entire time. There are so many more productive things you can do with your time!

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

I love the idea of a Mormon missionary whose goal is to never give out a single Book of Mormon throughout his entire mission.

Christianity is true. Mormonism is false. Don"t go.

You got to make a plan, you know the church has been covering up and white washing their history. You can decline your mission and risk being shunned. You can be honest and go on your mission and tell the whole truth to everyone you meet, the mission president will get mad and send you home.

Maybe if you don't go, Mormons will shun you, but if your family still loves you for being a Christian, then I'd say decline your mission and go find some new friends.

I'm a Christian now. In fact a stranger from the ward I live in called and invited me to their relief society craft day. I said I have nothing to do with Mormonism. I said that I'm a Christian, and the woman on the other end said "oh, I'm sorry". I said that I was not sorry. !!!! Crazy

clark Wrote:
-----------------------------------
>
> Personally, I'm leaning towards the mission
> option. But not for the reasons everyone else
> goes. I think I really can make a difference in
> peoples' lives! I can preach and teach about
> Christ, and the Bible. I won't say anything I
> don't believe. And maybe I can even get some of my
> companions to see the truth! Plus, I get the
> opportunity to leave the house for 2 years and
> learn how to live as a responsible member of a
> community. I also get the chance to learn a
> foreign language. But like I said, the most
> important opportunity I have here is preaching the
> true gospel of Christ, as found in the Bible, to
> people who need to hear it! And yes, I'm sure
> somewhere along the way my mission president will
> find out that I just don't believe in what the
> church says. But I'm hoping that that man has love
> in his heart, and can understand what I'm doing.
> Yeah, I may not be spreading his cult's message
> and baptizing members into the 'covenant' or
> whatever. But I am sharing the single most
> important message that ever existed, and that
> people need to hear! So maybe he'll understand,
> and let me carry out my work. Because it's not
> really my work - It's the work of God. Any decent
> man should understand that.


Personally, I think you are being a bit delusional. I'll state upfront I have never been on a mission but how long do you think you are going to be able tof serve without being expected to push the bom? I don't think your mp will understand. If you end up being honest with him you may be put through the ringer and probably decide for yourself to go home. Especially after you get smothered by rules and study and prayer with a constant companion. Retired missionaries on the board can give you more insight.

Two weeks is a very short time and five days will be here in a breath. I would imagine it would be tough to sort through all of your feelings so quickly. If you don't want to go don't set your expectations on what you have seen of others. You are 19. That mission money is coming from somewhere. I was blown away by how supportive my parents and family have been of me since leaving. It took time but set your own example. Nothing is stopping you from becoming a member of society and preaching the bible and learning a language on your own terms and in your comfort zone.

My advise would be don't go. It's your life and you get to call the shots. If you want to be an adult start making adult decisions based on what you honestly believe. Going on a mission obviously gives the impression to everyone that you are a mormon. Your parents will be proud of you for your future achievements that you worked hard and strived for because of your passions. The praise may not be right now though.

My assumption is that you will end up going and that is perfectly okay too. Some lessons you have to learn and experience yourself. Remember that it is absolutely okay to come home early. You can get there and get a feel for it and if you are miserable you are under no obligation to stick it out. You can always go home, deal with ramifications, pick yourself up, and move on with your life.

Whether you don't go, leave early, serve the two years, this point is just a bump in the road of your life. Don't regret your decision. Remember how you feel and what you know now and don't let them suck you back in on the mission or after if you don't want to. Hold on to your true self, whatever it is.

You'll have to teach that Joseph Smith was a prophet. There's no getting around that one while on a mission.

+1

We had a list on here of people that have volunteered shelter and aid for persons looking to escape their mission.

I hope someone can find a link for it.

If you do go, find something, such as a clandestine smartphone or iPad, that will allow you unrestricted internet access.

I understand the family pressure thing, but have some backup insurance.

I did not go on a mission, but we al continue to hear horror stories about how bad conditions can get.

Jesus is just as fake as mormonism little one.

Keep going, you're on the right path, you will dispel all the evil of religion as soon as you recognize it.

You'll be required to bear your testimony frequently, starting in the hellhole known as the MTC. Those testimonies will have to be "correct" also, witnessing of the truthfulness of the church, Joseph Smith and the BOM. If you don't or can't, everyone will notice and bring down the hammers. In order to get by, you will have to lie about your belief, and there will be nowhere to hide. Good luck.

Clark, you are being very naive. You will not be able to have your own agenda while on your mission. You haven't been able to think for yourself for 19 years, what makes you think you will be able to on a tightly monitored and structured mission? Also, you are at the start of what may be a very long and painful grieving process.

You are overestimating how much faith the Mormons put in Jesus. You said yourself, they think they can save themselves. So your plan to preach about Jesus is just plain naive. To Mormons, Jesus can only take you halfway, the other half is up to you and Joseph Smith.

I also know how terrible it is to reveal your findings to your family, and I personally wouldn't do it just yet, considering everything is so raw. I would just make up some excuse about how you are not ready.

PS - you'll have to forgive those on this forum who would try and tear your beliefs apart all at once. It's super inconsiderate but you'll find that some here just don't want to accept beliefs other than their own, which is probably a result of the Mormon upbringing.

Think of your MP as your HS football coach. He may mentor you and care about you, but his goal is to win games. He will assign you a role to play on your team, and expect you to prepare and coordinate with your team to execute. If you have your own agenda, he will bench you and eventually cut you from the team. That means going home in disgrace, which defeats the whole purpose of serving to make your parents happy.

If you want to do your own thing, leave the church. The church has no room for people who don't follow their agenda, and the mission is the crucible for transforming young Mormon boys into LDS, Inc. material.

I understand you want to find a happy medium. Wouldn't it be great to make your family happy and be true to yourself too? Unfortunately you will end up being shunned if you are true to yourself. It will only be worse after you go on your mission and you "should know better" than to leave the church.

The awesome plus side is...you are young and you have your whole life ahead of you. As a RM and a member for 35 years I can say that if there is anything I have learned is that I am happiest when I follow my heart. If there is a tiny voice inside of you that is uncomfortable with lying for the lord then perhaps you shouldn't.

I would urge you to stay true to yourself and do what is right for you. You know it is all a lie so why would you put yourself out there and represent the lie? It will hurt your soul and cut at your self-esteem. Stand up for yourself and move out. Go to school and get a job. Be your own person. You will be much happier and proud of yourself as you do what is truly right in your heart.

Your family may come around or not.

That said it makes me angry that you are manipulated to go on the mission when you are so young! What a crummy place to put our youth in. "go on your mission or get kicked out"!!?? Mormons suck.

You are better off NOT going in the first place, than to go and come home EARLY!

You cannot just preach Christianity on your mission -- you MUST teach Mormonism, including the importance and necessity of Mormon TEMPLE worship (which you despise)!

There is NOTHING in between!

Better to make up an excuse now and not go. That will be far easier for you then having to explain later why you came back early!

Talk heart-to-heart to a good non-Mormon doctor about the mental problems this is causing you. Depression, for instance, is a valid reason to not go, but it doesn't have to be a public matter if you don't want it to be.

The doctor could contact the church medical people and let them know their liability if they take you and require them to keep your medical condition private. Doctor-to-doctor information can fall under the HIPAA privacy laws.

A "medical" matter is your business alone. The church would have to accept it, and you could tell your friends anything you want to get them off your back.

I haven't read all of the other comments, but how are you going to feel, lying to people all the time? And how will you feel if you convert someone?

As for what else you have to lose- take it from me, it can get tricky explaining that time on resumes and in interviews. Either you tell them truth, and they come to 1,000 conclusions about you based on it, or you dance around it, being as vague as possible while trying to put a positive spin on it. Granted, my gap was larger (I gave 4 years of my life to a cult called YWAM), but still. It sucks.

If you can get a copy, read the book "Unveiling Grace" by Lynn Wilder. She was a professor at BYU whose son, Micah, converted to Biblical Christianity while on his mission after reading through the New Testament. He completed his mission in a manner that you are proposing for the whole time.

Micah Wilder and several other RMs formed a Christian band called "Adam's Road". Perhaps you could contact them for some advice.

http://adamsroadband.com/

Please try to find a way to back out of your mission gracefully without alarming your family too much. Two years of swimming against the current will take a tremendous toll on your psyche.

Integrity.

In the long run, if you do things that don't compromise your integrity you will be happier and more successful in life and a benefit to mankind.

Think about your integrity.

One of the people in the church I admire the most was a kid who went out, realized it was a fraud while in the MTC and called his parents to come and get him. He was done. He couldn't go out and lie about the church.

He came home, immediately moved out and went to college. I truly admired that kid. It made me feel bad about how long it had taken me to admit the truth and leave.

A part of life is making big mistakes, regretting them and working for years to let go of the regret. Go on the mission.

clark,

I live in Alpine so I understand the culture.

First of all, you have made some nice discoveries. Props to you. Personally, I think you haven't quite followed things thoroughly enough. The Old Testament, for example, is equally as bogus as anything in Mormonism -- absolute myth and fable all the way through. The New Testament hardly stands up to scrutiny, either. But I digress.

My son did not go on a mission. Everything is cool. In fact, I think people respect him for not buying into all the crap.

You should definitely not go on a mission to please family members. What a mistake you would be making! Now is the time to put your foot down and say that you don't intend on serving. You can word it however you want -- "I don't feel prepared at this moment to serve," "I need time right now to do some soul-searching," "I need to be sincere in my beliefs, etc."

Good luck to you as you develop into manhood!

I never went on a mission but discovered the Mormon church was false at BYU and was shunned by my family for marrying a non-Mormon two years after graduating. While it was hard on them at the time they actually respect me more than my 4 other siblings and they even tolerate that I am Christian. Best decision I ever made!!! Trust God to help you with this.

Congratulations clark, god has just called you to stay home from your mission, as revealed to you by me, his holy invisible green potato. God has something even more important for you to do at home, which thing He will reveal to you in due course. Isn't personal revelation a wonderful thing? Thank god you were brought up in the one true church, the only church with modern revelation. If anyone "disagrees" with your revelation then tell them to stop tempting you. If they persist, tell them "get thee behind me Satan", but not in a gay way or anything.

I am not sure that you could convince anyone that the promptings of the spirit told you not to go on a mission, because noone really believes in personal revelation. It might be worth a try though.

I won't tell you what you should do, but I can only say that the older I get, the more I discover that true peace of mind comes from being true to yourself.

It can tear you apart trying to live your life pleasing everyone else. When you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one.

So do what is right for you and no one else.

+10000000000000

There are other ways to be of service. I know the LDS Church makes you think that you can use the gospel and the church to turn people away from self-destructive conditions like alcoholism, domestic abuse, and other things. But it really takes a great deal of training and knowledge to deal with these types of situations, and the church just gives you a lesson book with a bunch of irrelevant material. The first time you encounter a hard situation with people in trouble, asking people to pray and read their scriptures ain't likely to work!

I grew up in Davis County, so I get it. Everyone else is going, and it seems normal. But there's a whole big world out there, and Mormons are not the only people doing good. In fact, the LDS Church institution (read corporation) is doing a great deal of harm to its members, who don't fit the mold--especially Packer's favorite trio of "enemies" (gays, feminists, and intellectuals).

It will be hard, but I urge you to rethink what you are about to do. Like Greyfot just posted, it's most important to be true to yourself--but that doesn't mean that always is the easiest thing to do. Good luck to you whatever you decide.

"Here's what's going on. I'm about to leave on a mission for the LDS church. I actually leave in 5 days.

Should I go on my mission, to make my family proud?

Or should I call everything off, last minute, and ruin every family tie/friendly relationship I've ever made?"

For the young men having to stick out going to church because they live at home, just to keep their parents purse-strings to go to college, I advise that they stick it out, suck it up, go to church to live at home and get college paid for...

For those who HAVE to go on a mission though, I advise differently...

You are a man now (technically, though your ability to get around in the world may be hampered). Your choices are YOURS to make. Are you ready to possibly lose your family unit because that may be what happens. Can you go to college on your own? I know various mission places are different. Are the Marshall Islands different from places in Brazil/So. America?? Meaning can you suck it up for 2 yrs?? You shouldn't have to but be prepared to not have the one major support system you grew up with..


As a parent I would N E V E R put this expectation on my kids. Parents who do, are and have been mentally abusing their kids IMO.

Good luck with whatever you do..

"But I'm hoping that that man has love in his heart, and can understand what I'm doing."

He will send you home ASAP and you will not get an honorably release. Probably your family will be more embarrassed about it than if you wouldn't have left.

Missionaries are sells people they are selling religion. They go door to door like for example kirby does. Well if you think a Kirby vacuum doesn't work would you want to sell it to people anyway? Now a Kirby only costs what $200 -$1000 so big deal they loose some cash for a vacuum that doesn't work and is over prized. The lds religion wants 10% OF GROSS INCOME FOR A LIFETIME and wants EVERY THING even your own life for the building up of the kingdom!!!!
Holy cow why when you know it is false lie to people make them was so much time and money so that the top can get rich. Research what they do with the tithing money the build malls, grandkids get free BYU.....
We have spend over 30K in tithing that I wish we would have given to the poor or kept ourselves. And I know from this board and for example my mom spend every month over 1K in tithing that's 12k per year! My mom has spend over 100K in this cult sick!!! All because one missionary knocked during Brigham Youngs time on their door the tradition of believing lies was passed down from generation to generation.

If you post to this board, and you are not a self-righteous troll, then the answer to going to BYU or on a mission is an absolute "no!"

If you have enough doubts to seek out an exmormon group, then dedicating yourself to a mission will be utter hell for you.

Will the mission strengthen your testimony? Perhaps, but I found out things about the way LDS, Inc. operates that damaged my faith. "But I'm hoping that that man has love in his heart, and can understand what I'm doing." This made me ROTFL. Mission Presidents are CEOs, not your dad. They don't really care about you, they care about numbers. If you don't produce, they will ride your ass. They hate individuals and want to break your personality. Missionaries are automatons, not free agents to follow their own agenda. If you go out there with the idea that a loving, caring fatherly MP will look after you, you are going to either be broken or sent home in disgrace.

Remember that you will be Siamese twins with an ultra chipper TBM 24/7 for 2-3 months, and then he will be replaced with another Pollyanna. If you are seen as a rebel missionary, then you will get the biggest hardass the MP can find for you. Your days will be long and hard. You will live in poverty like most middle class Americans will never know. You will have no time to yourself, and no matter how much you give, they will use guilt to extract more.

What about your family? Well, they are spending a lot of money to support you (if not, screw them and don't go!). How will they feel when you come back and say, "Hey! I hate the church and now I'm quitting"? Do you think they will feel better about you leaving after your mission?

If you say you don't want to go, they will pressure you because they think it will tie you to the church. The compromise of going and then quitting is worse than just not going. It certainly is a waste of your life and their money.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2014 09:54AM by axeldc.

This is my rub. I was a concert to the church at 20. I have real issue with the fact that the church lied to me and did not fully give an accounting of their history, namely Joseph Smith having 33 plus wives. I did not find out till I had been a member 13 years and another 7 for me to piece all the lies together. 20 years of total bullshit only to pad the coffers of the church. 19 years of temple recommend interviews determining my worthiness and yet they cannot even be truthful themselves. Roping me in and trying to put a wedge in my marriage and my kids lives, all for a bunch of hooey? Even more, not allowing my nevermo parents to attend their own daughter's wedding g because they were deemed unworthy. Sorry to be blunt, but how in the hell can you even maintain a sense of integrity knowing the dirt you know? Why go ruin people's lives?

The two years between 19 and 20 are where you spread your wings and fly and become who you really are. They are the years of self discovery. Many of us were robbed of them to go and tell lies because we were indoctrinated, duped, and brainwashed. You are none of those things.

Do not live a lie.

And c'mon man. You afraid of jumpstarting your life? Even after the mission I came home to dirt poor. I never got one cent from my parents except for a broken down junk of an old car. I got a job, got roommates, worked my ass of to get a scholarship and get through university. I have had an amazing life that I built myself. I highly recommend it.

You cannot go on a mission and not lie. The whole premise is a lie. Do not do this to yourself and do not do it to others.

Your girl will dump you. Someday you will fall in love and it will be the real deal. She will be something special. Do you really want to tell her what you did?

I really get how you feel, and you are right. It is an ugly spot to be in, all decisions lead to heart ache, but one decision comes with a side of integrity.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2014 10:58AM by blueorchid.

One of the biggest problems of Mormonism is misrepresenting your real intentions. From Joseph Smith to today it's a huge problem!

You will be doing exactly that by going on a mission with your own agenda. You'll be lying to your family and friends. You'll be lying to your investigators. Essentially you'll be living a huge lie.

You claim to be a Christian. Ask yourself if Christ would have lived a lie...

Mormonism is big on making decisions based on feelings - burning in the bosom and all that. . . . You tell investigators that if you get a good feeling reading the BOM and praying about it, that means it's true and you should join the church.

But . . . this can work in your favor, too. You tell your parents you've been praying and HF is telling you NOT to go on a mission at this time. How can they argue that the prompting you feel isn't true? You've got an out that preserves your standing in the family.

You can use this time to work as much as you can and save up to move out of the house.

I live in a small town that is part of the Spokane mission (I think).

If you do go on the mission, and have problems, or just need a place to take a break, put out a call here for Heathen. I check the board daily and will see it.

Personally, I'd recommend not going. You already know it's false...you need to do what's right for you, not for your family and friends.

One more thing - you said you were thinking about going into teaching. As a public school teacher, I'd strongly recommend aiming for the community college or university level. There was a big thread on here recently about teaching as a career. Read it. It may help you make a decision.

That's awesome! He may well need someone who he can be honest with, even if he never says anything at all negative.

MISSIONARY-to-be READ THIS!!!!

I went back and read your post and I am going to encourage you to use the option underneath to EDIT. Take out your mission, hometown, and the language you will learn. Last winter an unbeliever about to leave posted identifying info like that on a similar website, and he was identified by someone and turned into his Stake President, and not allowed to go in a very humiliating manner. I think people do watch these boards. He was a lot more cynical than you so your treatment may be less harsh but please remove the info!!!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2014 12:23PM by vh65.

Clark, if you are not registered then the 'edit' option will not be available. Instead, "report" your own post and ask the moderators to edit out your identifying information.

For what it's worth, I'm familiar with Spokane, and it is NOT a place I would want to waste two years of my life.

I'm glad Heathen has given you a place to go for help.

I think it may be interesting when you get to the MTC. I hear NOTHING but bad about it. One of my neighbor's sons didn't get his visa and had to spend a little longer in the MTC before going stateside and he was NOT HAPPY. From what I've heard and read, it is like living in prison.

One of my kids' friends packed up and walked out of the MTC after a week and disappeared for a month.

As others have said, what will your mormon girlfriend think when you come back and leave the lds church? Read on here more and see how many marriages are broken up over loss of belief. AND I hate to point it out, how many girls actually do wait? One of my friends actually did wait. They divorced about 10 years later. There are no guarantees.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2014 11:49AM by cl2.

The minute you put on your missionary name tag you're lying to the world.

Don't go - break the mold.

Wow, you are bright (figured it out fast after the temple!) brave (dared to research and face the truth) and optimistic. Those are all wonderful qualities that will serve you well no matter what you do. And you have so little time to either make this big announcement or just go on that mission. (The timing of the first endowment right before a mission or marriage is surely a deliberate way to keep people from bolting)

I do think its viewed more positively to back out now than come home early. I think you will find you are required to push that first vision story and eternal families (which makes me want to vomit after reading D&C 132 carefully, knowing Smith's history). Christianity and the bible are the next thing many of us scrutinize and lose faith in - yours may not last your mission, though I still think a lot of New Testament philosophy is good. You may luck out with an MP that will let you push service, but chances are you will be constantly rejected by people who see Mormonism as a wierd cult (perspective is quite different outside Utah) and trying to reactivate folks like us. It's not gonna involve a lot of fun, but you may be able to help a few people in some way.

I would suggest you seek advice on several exMo and NOM groups - some are more popular with recent missionaries than this one and they have had some good advice for people in your situation. I remember a great thread about ways to survive your mission as an unbeliever, though I think they talked him into not going.

Please also take note of this resource:
Sorry friend. The mods here have for some unfathomable reason made it impossible to post this link.

A group on another site put together a list of people willing to help unhappy missionaries as well as info on scholarships, job options/housing help for people cut off by their families, etc. I can't link it, but know there is an undergrond railroad for unhappy Mormon missionaries and if you look you should be able to find it.

Whatever you do, I think that 5-10 years from now it will all seem like ancient history and with your personality, I think you will be happy and living with integrity. Not serving, coming home early, or mission memories will all be a blur. Just try to stay true to yourself and maintain as much integrity as you can - that's going to be tough just because you know things your friends and family don't, yet. The Internet is a wonderful thing, though, and you may come home to a lot of people who have learned the truth while you were gone.

I wish you luck with all of this. Remember: you are not to blame here. The fault lies with Smith, Young and the leaders who came after them and covered up the truth.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2014 12:05PM by vh65.

The other posters are right about integrity. Here's a couple more thoughts:

1. The deeper into the church you get, the harder it'll be to dig out and the greater fallout you'll get from loved ones and others.

2. If you know your girl will leave you over a change in your beliefs (i.e. you discovering the truth about TSCC), then she loves TSCC more than you. Better to know that now than later.

3. Many of the Big 15, including Monson, didn't go on missions.

4. You don't seem to have a reality-based idea of what a mission really is. You will NOT be able to teach your own personal beliefs. Every word you speak has been written for you by a committee in Salt Lake. If you vary one bit, you will get ratted out and raked over the coals. Talk to RMs for a better picture.

5. "God's message" is NOT the Mormon message. Think about how much doctrine you now know is contradictory to the bible.
Misleading people into Mormonism won't help them find God. You'll actually be HURTING them instead of helping. Do you want innocent investigators to get trapped into the same hellish, false Mormon life that you want to escape -- because you knowingly lied to them?

It's YOUR LIFE. Your parents and church leaders can't control you if you refuse to let them. Stall for time:
-- I thought I was ready, but I'm just not.
-- I need to study and ponder more.
-- God told me to wait six months. He let me know he has something very important for me and it will be made clear if I'm obedient to his promptings.
-- I'm going to join the Peace Corps, Teach for America, ATD, or Volunteers of America instead.

Start applying for jobs/volunteer opportunities the same day, or better yet, go to college. You can get financial aid almost immediately and start taking block classes. Or do both. At the college where I teach, many (if not most) of the students work while in school. It's not ideal, but they are making it and you can, too.

Your life may be tough for a while, but it's way better than living lies to placate people who would, in a hearbeat, abandon you for not sharing their beliefs.

“We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.”

-- Oscar Wilde

You can continue in the traditions of your religious family and learn from it.You just know more then the usual bloke.
I say: do it. You have an attitude that will carry you through and help you deal with all the nonsense that you'll be dealing with. The chance of actually finding anyone to join the LDS Church is likely extremely low.
Make it an adventure. Integrity is doing what you want to do not what someone else tells you integrity is.

Please don't go! I almost cried when I saw that you were considering going. It is a HUGE waste of time and you'll hate every minute of it not believing what you're supposed to teach. PLEASE DON'T GO!

I was in a similar position as you. I hadn't researched it like you were, but I was beginning to question. I had all the same fears. I regret every day I lost two years of my life. Not just any years, my younger years. Your family will shun you at first, but they will come around. Don't go!!!

Clark:

Take out your mission, departure and hometown. Someone may identify you and give a copy of your posts to your stake president or the MTC. This happened to a (more cynical) soon-to-be missionary on another board with a similar post last December. He was hauled in and "fired" before he made it to the mission field. There are church members who monitor exMo websites, crazy as it sounds, and turn in rebel missionaries and BYU students.

The edit button is just below your post. Change it now. Luckily this board has been down a lot of the morning.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2014 03:43PM by vh65.

So you are one who believes in the CHRISTIAN God instead of the Mormon one?

It's up to you, but if I were in your shoes here's what I'd do:

I'd go through the motions at MTC, sucking in all that endowment stuff while deep inside chuckling as well as thinking about devotion to the real Jesus Christ (not the mascot LD$ seems to portray Him) and simply tough it out until that time you arrive at your mission destination.

Once there, LET IT ALL OUT!!!
If there are Christian churches there that are close to what you believe, contact the pastor(s) there and explain your whole predicament. You're certain to get "sent home" once you start preaching Biblical Christianity comes in......but that's why those of us "on the outside" are willing to help.

Many of us who grew up outside the Morridor know hardly anything about the Morg, or what it's all about. We need to know the whole story. Remember this, once you get kicked out......there's always Jesus there to be by your side! You'll possibly have issues regarding TBM friends and family members, but that's why you need to tell everything to non-LDS Christian pastors and churchgoers so they can help you. They'll be friends with you.

There's this Mark Cares guy, you might of heard of, and there's also some former elder from the early 90s who has his own family and believes in the Bible and all that. Plus there's the Adam's Road musical group.....the list goes on.

Many here say you shouldn't go in the first place, but if you'd didn't, you'd be denying people the opportunity to know what LD$ is really about. How would they know? People not with any connections to LD$ don't go to RfM or any other "anti" sites. They think LD$ is just another legitimate Christian denomination with a past problem with polygamy.

Imagine, them seeing someone with a stereotypical elder suit and church nametag......he really IS a part of it, so why would he pass up the chance to publicize the fact that it is a cult? Can't do that by just staying home!