Hi everyone,
I am a lurker here. I was wondering if there are any ex-mormons in AZ (East Valley). I was a convert who left and a year later, I can't get over the hurt or the horror of going through baptism. I am scared to talk about this with my non-mormon friends out of shame of what I did. I feel so pathetic.
I have heard of a few meet ups but I am hesitant to go. I just want someone to talk to who understands leaving the lds church. I was treated badly when I left. I just hurt :(

The reason why I'm hesitant to go to the meet ups is because I don't want to run into any members who were in the ward I attended. I am scared of the stake president.

I understand exactly what you are going through. Please email me, Gary, at garygetsmail@hotmail.com

There is an exmo luncheon tomorrow (Sunday). in Tempe.

Garcias Restaurant, on the Southeast corner of Rural and I 60 in the Embassy Suites Motel. It's quite unlikely your Steak President will be there. It's not a real big restaurant. Look for a group of homeys. I plan on being there with my elderly but attractive Korean wife. You can recognize me because I am short and fat and wrinkled and bald in back and have sort of a hangdog look from my long lifetime of disappointments. As Roseanne Roseannadanna would say "Mr Cactus you sound like a real attractive guy".



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 03/15/2014 02:51PM by Cactus Jim.

Ha ha! I have eaten there when I come visit the parents! Enjoy! Great food!

I live in east mesa. 5th generation morm. e-mail at dshum@cox.net. Be glad to commiserate. No sympathy just empathetic. I got it. Hollar if you need a listening ear.

Thank you for providing your emails. I will get in touch with everyone, soon. I am so grateful for your responses.
I just saw this now and missed the "meet up" at Ray and the 60. Do a lot of people go?
I would love to meet up with you all some time. Btw, I'm a female in my 30s, married (to someone raised in the "Whore church of the earth", ha.).

Is it the baptism itself that bothers you? Or the idea of joining the church?
You may have a phobia about being dunked in water.
I'm not in AZ but I feel for you and wish you the best. Keep posting on here. We will help if possible.

It had nothing to do with being dunked in water. It was just... I knew that the church was false. I went along with it because I was going through rough times and really wanted "friends and family". Everyone was so "loving" to me and I knew that sane people would say "wth are you doing?" My family would have been disappointed in me for joining a cult. These people were so convincing that they loved me and that it's the "right thing to do" because of the difficulties I was encountering in my life at the time. I went along with it for acceptance and friendship.
It sounds really bad, I know. I wasn't in my right mind. I only lasted for a very short time but the way I was treated on my way out and how I was harassed by the SP was just too much for me. A year has gone by and it still bothers me. I am really ashamed about having gotten baptized and everything knowing that this was just false and knowing that their acceptance and "love" was very conditional - join the church and we'll love you and offer you a family.

You made a mistake. It happens. Your reasons don't sound pathetic, they sound human. I'm sorry you were treated badly by those in charge when you left, that is a very common story here.

Look at the positives and congratulate yourself that you saw through the charade and you can now be free. We're here for you.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/17/2014 08:14PM by safetynotguaranteed.

Honey that is nothing to be ashamed of! Do you have any idea what people do for acceptance? Think of all the sex, drugs and bullying people do under peer pressure. You are beating yourself up so much for choosing something you later regret! If anything, you learned a powerful lesson about the church and what NOT to do and you have a story to tell. People have gotten married, had kids, told huge lies and stolen just to feel loved. You joined a church you didn't believe in which, IMO, is nowhere near those bad things. Churches are FOR feeling loved within a community. It makes sense that you chose it! Don't be so sad :( As far as what others think, it is nobody's business! Do you think everyone goes around telling everyone else their worst decision or most embarrassing or painful moment? No! It doesn't define you, especially since you hurt no one but yourself and have since learned from it. Please don't be so hard on yourself :(

People make mistakes. You made a mistake. Now you know better. You don't want to spend the rest of your life beating yourself up about it.
You are a good person who made a mistake. Keep posting and we will keep listening.

I'm in AZ, but I'm about 2 1/2 hours away from Mesa. I would love to have an Ex mormon meetup over here, but I haven't found any in my hometown. The ones who live here are VERY much into the mormon church and are proud of their new temple. It's disheartening.

Please do not feel badly about talking to nonmormon friends about your experience. They will be sympathetic once they know the organization hurt you, lied to you and is nothing but a cult. It would actually help them to stop from doing something so ridiculous. Also they will share with others and it will keep those people away from Mormonism too.

I am nonmormon and believe me when I first heard of all the stuff that goes on I was floored. I felt bad that my daughter- who was letting them into her life- would even consider such nonsense. And after yrs. she converted. I have a grandson now - 4 yrs. old. Feel horrible that he is being brought up with such beliefs.

And yes, they treat you horribly after you leave. WHY? Because you are not one of the flock. In their eyes, you must think and behave like them or you are no good. STAY away from that type of person. Congratulate yourself for being smart and waking up. I wish you all the best.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/17/2014 08:44PM by honestone.

Hi, feel free to hit us (my wife and I) up. We are both in our 30s and live in Chandler.

My ancestors joined the church in 1832 and my wife joined the church right after she graduated high school in 2000. I officially left a few years ago and my wife no longer attends.

bluehonda@gmail.com

exconvertinAZ we have the monthly luncheon Sunday of the month 1PM at Garcia's as I posted before. There is also a Coffe get together first Sunday of the month in Gilbert but I can't tell you where because I never make it.

And other things such as one exmo lady is going to try exmo standup comedy at the Standup on Scottsdale March 27 7PM. http://thecomedyspot.net/open-mic/

Thanks Cactus Jim.
You said "...we have the monthly luncheon Sunday of the month..." would that be the 3rd Sunday of the month?
Thanks again

Right, 3rs Sunday Garcias SW Corner Rural and 60 1PM. I don't know where the coffee thing is. I know it's the first Sunday of the month.

OK. I found where the Phoenix area events are listed on postmormon.org. from that:

Arizona PostM Talk:
We meet on the third Sunday of the month, 1PM at Garcia's in Tempe. It is on the west side of Rural Road just south of the Superstition freeway inside the Embassy Suites Hotel.

Ex-mo Coffee and Un-Testimony Meeting:
We meet on the first Sunday of the month, 9 - 11:30 AM at Coffee Rush in Gilbert. SE Corner Baseline & Gilbert. Come in, enjoy, drink whatever you want.

Karaoke:
We meet every second Saturday of the month, 9pm to midnight at Simpleton's Bar 2639 East Broadway Road (SW Corner at Lindsay Rd) Mesa.

How will I know where do find you? How will I know which is you? I'd hate to walk up to a table and say "hi, are you exmormons?" haha

I was nervous when I first went. I didn't even know if anyone was there. I just got up the nerve and asked the hostess if their was a group meeting, meaning a bunch of people who are not family related. I think the staff pretty much knows the regulars.

I want to go. I didn't have the courage to go last month but I need to get out more.
I guess I'll just suck it up and start asking people "are you with the exmormon group?" Knowing my luck I'll probably walk up to a table full of people on LSD.. I mean LDS people and ask them if they're exmos.

I completely understand and would also love to talk. Don't know how to put myself out there without publishing my email addy though. :-)

....and I wish my son- in- law and daughter attended one of these exmo meetings. They live in Gilbert. I keep hoping.
I can always dream, can't I?

Are they TBMs? If they're not, bring them along... if they are, bring them along anyway :)

So the 20th at 1pm at Garcia's in Tempe.

If I remember I will wear a red tshirt. It's been a while since Ive been, and need to just get out more.

My email address is PallasAthena_79@yahoo.com
Feel free to send me an email. Let's plan on meeting on the 20th at 1 PM in Garcia's.
I'll wear a yellow top.
Looking forward to it.

I just want to thank everyone for your comments. As I reflect on what I said to the missionaries, what makes me chuckle a little is "I'm not even from AZ! I didn't even know what a Mormon was before I moved here." I guess that was an attempt to drive the point home that the mormon religion is insignificant - especially outside of the morridor.

I hope to meet some of you on the 20th. I might even go to Karaoke Saturday night if I'm still feeling brave. I'm just hesitant just in case there are any Mormon lurkers on this board who will be "waiting" for me. It's not that hard to figure out who I am... or perhaps it's me being paranoid.

I appreciate the support. I need to put this chapter behind me. I need to move past this embarrassment I feel regarding the baptism. I know people have done worse. Just to let you know, I converted at a time when I was going through a very, very, very difficult situation in my personal life. I moved to AZ to start a new life all by myself. Let me tell you this has been the hardest thing I have ever done... much harder than my divorce a few years ago. Like I told the mishies, someone at work masqueraded as a "friend" and got close to me... hindsight tells me now that this was just so that I would convert. I am mad at myself for allowing myself to be fooled by someone who would pretend to offer me their friendship.

This person's wife came to my door with a tray of cupcakes and tears in her eyes about a year ago. I told her that I decided to return to my former church. She told me that my church was established by satan in order to confound me. I was floored. I never had anyone say something like that to me with a straight face. She also proceeded to use very personal things I told her about myself against me in order to guilt me into returning to church.

What a nice, legitimate organization (as I told the missionaries, today). Manipulating for the Messiah (I just made that up. Can I copyright it?)

I still have this awful shame in me... embarrassment that I would do this just to earn friends. It's a little complicated. I moved here years ago and the friends I made moved away. Arizona is a very transient place. Two more friends told me yesterday that they, too, are moving away this summer. Because of my fragile state last year and the difficulties I encountered, I just wanted nice friends and when this individual and his bat shit crazy wife got close to me, I thought the genuinely wanted to be my friends. I guess a big red flag was when one of their bazillion children aged 7 came up to me and said "you must be so lonely!" Wow... just, wow...

I just wanted to echo some of the other posters here and say that you shouldn't be embarrassed about becoming a member of the church. Yeah, it may seem crazy to someone who is not familiar with the church, but you have totally understandable reasons for wanting to join.

I have to say that of course there was no other reason why any normal, sane, non-Mormon would think that a person trying to be friends was being disingenuous for sinister reasons like getting a baptism. There are stories on here of people getting dropped right after they join, which I'm guessing is the same or similar to what you went through. Unfortunately, Mormons have ulterior motives when it comes to...well....anything really. It's all about the church, and you can't fault yourself for not knowing that upfront. In the real world, if someone acts like they want to be your friend, they probably do! Unlike in Mormonism where "friends" are dependent on how involved in the church you are.

So take a deep breath and tell yourself that it's not your fault. You did what you thought you needed at the time. Now you've realized your mistake and you've corrected it by no longer being active in the church. Be proud of yourself that at least you reacted in a good way by no longer attending a church that you don't believe in, and do your best to keep moving forward. Hopefully someday you can look back at this with less shame and embarrassment in the future.

I live in north phoenix. I havnt been to a meetup either but read this board often. I would be interested in going sometime. The last time i Attended was about four years ago, but i still struggle at times with the hurt and with family members who are active. Im still pretty young-in my 20's. Most of the people i am close to are still active or are never mormons. That makes it difficult at times when needing support. Feel free to contact me: Msheaw146@hotmail.com

exconvertinAZ,

I'm WAY more embarrassed than you should be -- I actually BELIEVED the bs at one point in my life!