When I was nine years old a flier was passed around to all local elementary schools that a man was parking along the path of children walking to school and masterbating when he saw them.

My mom's solution was to have me and my 6 year-old brother walk one block to meet a friend who's mom would walk all of us to school. Well unfortunately that one block was where Pervert parked.

Here I am 9 years old walking with my little brother. I look over my shoulder to tell my brother to hurry up. I see in the parked car next to us a man's pen is. I have no idea what it looked like I blocked the image. Terror sprang in my heart. I reached for my little brother symontaniously yelling, "run, Name, run."

We ran like we never ran before. I felt horror slicing to my core. It was when our feet were running up the driveway Pervert knew we were getting help. He sped off like the coward he was. My young traumatized mind had the presence to look at the license plate number. I remembered the first two numbers.

*** Fast forward to Dad's reaction**

I am standing in the kitchen. I feel smaller than a person has ever been. I am confused. I am scared. Dad walks into kitchen. My mom is telling him what happened.

___
Does my dad hug me?
Does my dad say he is sorry that he was not there?
Does he express anger that someone did that to his precious daughter?
______

No my father looks at me face reddening and contorting into a look I know well.It is the look that made us kids' blood run cold. It meant he was angry. If he was angry you would (usually) be hit. The thing was more often then not you had NO IDEA why he was making the look. I think it was partly his version of "going home and kicking the dog."

I digress.

I am standing in the kitchen now terrified of my father and he yells at me "WHY DIDN'T YOU GET THE LICENSE PLATE NUMBER!!!"

I am stunned. I think: 'I got two numbers! I had to get Name to safety.'

*****

Now looking back I have a daughter and a son about the same age. I honestly can't believe I was treated that way. WTF.

My fathers reaction was way more damaging long term than Perverts actions.

Perhaps your Dad was never heard in his family unless he got rip roaring mad and explosive.

I'm so sorry you were traumatized and treated unfairly.
You did nothing wrong and everything right!


Another irony, since I've had to know a few flashers...they do not grab and harm people. They're really shy.

Assault is not their agenda. They just get their jollies from doing it to shock others. They're stuck in a weird cycle of their own. They love the adrenaline, they do the deed, feel remorse, swear to not do it, things go wrong, they deserve a reward and they scare the bejeebus out of someone else. They have no control over their aberrant behavior, they just think they do. It's horrible and shameful, but they are not the grab the child and run people.

It's the straight, married, groom their victims pedophiles that are so dangerous. The pillars in the society no one suspects or believe their victims when they do come forward...


How does "Name" remember the incident? Do they remember you being in trouble????

Did the pervert ever get caught?


I knew the victim of a flasher. The Cops thought there was more to her story. They pulled her out of school in front of her classmates and took her to the cop station in the squad car. They grilled her for hours telling her he MUST have touched her! She just didn't remember! So they'd make her go over and over her story. She was more traumatized by the cops than the incident. She just saw the flasher as an old dumb pervert.

Her parents had given permission for one interview. The cops made several. Her fellow students started asking her what she had done because the cops were coming every week to take her from school. She didn't talk about it with her parents because the cops lied and said they had her parents permission and they knew all about it!

The parents had to hire a lawyer to get the cops to stop interviewing her while they built the case against the flasher; who was finally put in jail.


Then she later had a Bishop in a new town grill her and church discipline her because she had more sexual thoughts than a 14 year old girl should! She some times couldn't take the sacrament because she thought of what she'd seen of the flasher!!!

Notice everything else around the 'flashing incident' is what traumatizes the victim! Not the flasher! Everyone else s reaction!!! That's why it's hard to come forward and tell what you saw!

"Perhaps your Dad was never heard in his family unless he got rip roaring mad and explosive."

So? It still does not justify his reaction. I spent a good portion of my life trying to see my dad's side and still love him. Sometimes it is more healthy to realize, hey that is messed up I deserve to be treated with love and respect.

"Notice everything else around the 'flashing incident' is what traumatizes the victim! Not the flasher! Everyone else s reaction!!! That's why it's hard to come forward and tell what you saw!"

The flasher is to blame for his actions and the wake it creates. It doesn't matter if they are "shy" or "stuck in a weird cycle." It is still their choice and they can choose to act differently.

True a pedophile that grooms a victim might do more sever damage but that doesn't negate the damage that a flasher may cause. Why minimize what happened to me because it could have been worse?

You reaction in your post is an example of how a person's reaction can cause more damage to a victim.

Oh sure,let's totally minimize physical abuse from a parent and the sexual assault of minors. Maybe I'm alone in the but flashing is not something to poo-poo. It's a serious issue with serious consequences.

Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity. If I had read the above post without yours it would have been difficult for me. Thank you.

After a pervert exposed himself to me.....when I told my Mom she went looking for him. It was in Sutter's Fort....there were other people around but I think I was the only one who saw "it".

When Mom didn't find him, we left.

I don't remember anything else about "it".

Just that I ran.....maybe another kid was with me but I don't remember.

I guess it wasn't reported to authorities or maybe it was. I don't know..and I don't remember if my Dad had anything to say about "it".

I ran/You ran......we were kids. It was the adults responsibility to protect us.....and we weren't.

Your memory is much more painful....and emotional...and fearful.
I'm sorry.
Hugs from AnonyMs KJ

Thanks KJ.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that!

Your mom should have walked you that one block. Your dad should have hugged you and told you that you did such a good thing by running away and keeping your little brother safe.

That was a brilliant action you took!
If my child were to tell me this had happened, I would tell her over and over again how smart and clever she is, and how glad I am that she is safe.

Your dad sounds like huge bully.
(I know the feeling)

I'm sorry.


Thank you so much for sharing with us.

Thank you. I got tears. The validation I needed twenty some years later and from an internet stranger.

When I was 5 I had a similar experience, except I was alone. I never told my parents because I knew it would have been blamed on me.

I look at my 5 year old grandkids, and it breaks my heart to think that they would be more afraid of me or their parents than a pervert.

Having children (and I assume grandkids) sure changes how you view past memories.

When my daughter was molested at a church campout, the church leaders threatened her to not tell me. They said I would get angry and cause a scene, that I wouldn't let her go camping anymore, and probably not let her play with any of her friends anymore. They said I would blame it on my daughter, and probably ground her. Those damn Mormons put words into my mouth, and deliberately put a wedge between my daughter and me. Except for that, my daughter told me absoluetly everything. I never would have punished her. I explained all this later, when she finally told us all at the breakfast table. I told all of my children, then and there, "You never have to go to that church again." They cried, they were so happy. I still believed at the time, but I didn't believe God would excuse these abusers and enablers and liars. My authority as mother was at risk, and the happiness of my children was at risk. Sorry, LDS, too big a price to pay. I was relieved to find out all the lies on RFM. Thanks, guys!