My niece is serving her mission in a far-off land. A recent email included this inspiring tidbit:

"Last night our zone leader called to basically tell me that everything I'm doing isn't good enough. He just went off about stuff that he doesn't even know about (that had to do with the Hermanas in my group). He said a lot of things that weren't true and sounded like one of those mean girls in high school. I didn't say anything, just listened to everything he had to tell me. And then I said thanks for the advice. Hung up and cried to my companion. Haha it was all a little sad and dramatic but I tried to handle everything like Christ."

I wish I had been on the line when this call happened. It would have turned out much differently. :) I'm a bit upset because of the zone leader's actions toward my niece, but also because of her reaction to just take it. Unless this young priesthood leader is confronted, he will probably continue his demeaning tirades. My niece just learned to be submissive to abusive males and think her quiet suffering is appropriate and righteous. Grrrr.

You nailed this. This 18 year old boy has now been empowered by a faithful young sister in the church to use his fake priesthood to control and abuse others.

"...thanks for the advice. Hung up and cried to my companion"

And the young sister missionary has begun learning the TBM pattern of passive-aggressive behavior.

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/10/2014 08:10PM by Doubting Thomas.

Brain washing at it's best. Another morbotess convinced she should just 'bow her head and say yes' to anything the church or priesthood holder wants to dish out. This brainwashing works great. Men who would do as little as possible now will do a lot more in the church if they feel they have 'power' over people ----- which they have little in the real work world. And women ------ well they are just assuring themselves that the church/priesthood will be there for them ----- it's so impressive!

Families who fail to teach their daughters to stand up for themselves, fail their daughters.

Oh man it reminds of the time my District Leader, an native of Britain, bawled me out for not wanting to give a talk in an upcoming baptism. I called him every name in the book. I said, "you piece of f*q3ing shiz...I outa kick your brit ass right now..f'ing bloody ass wipe..(and on and on I went). He was crying for his mommy by the time I got done with him. I didn't even get in trouble. he watched what he said to me. I didn't put up with shit.

GIVE SOMEONE POWER, even if it is [peer pressure] arbitrary, add Mormonism, ad nauseum and our-these young missionaries are used by their (own) naive, arrogant, egotistical, deluded and illinformed (if "well meaning") MPs, ZLs, APs, companions; Bishops, "leaders", (profits & apostles) and 'councilors'; 'friends' & peers, parents, (primary on up) 'teachers', missionaries, and the ward-branch & stake members, to criticize, judge, hate, despise, ruin, tear down, belittle, tattle on, snoop on and gossip about, rather than uplift, help along the way, serve and behold.

It comes up often. Mormons learn by (BAD) example(s). Look at who some (still) look up to and who they look down upon. Most have it mixed up, obviously, by how they treat others according to rank, education-wisdom, wealth-class or percieved connection, brotherhood, title or authority.

Missions are ripe for/ with abuse and sinister powertrips and perversions of authority and spiritual excessives (or lack thereof) or deserts. People are looking for meaning (many places it doesn't exist) and when they can't find it the easy thing is to blame it [not] on the spirit but the person that does or doesn't contain this spirit or that 'manifestation'.

Where are the Saints in all this? Oh yea, they don't know or hear anything about it.

Young missionaries are low hanging fruit on the tree. This might ripen her a little.

You got it. She just learned her lesson. Sad.

I would remind her that she is a hard-working volunteer, and not a military conscript. As a volunteer, her efforts need to be treated with dignity and respect. She needs to be gently coached to stand up for herself. Otherwise she faces a lifetime of being a doormat.

Zone Leaders - part of trickle down rants !! They get chewed out so they chew out their group.
Dumb Dumb Dumb. Never has a positive result.

The gal needs to learn to not take this crapola personally and knock off the emotional drama. He's just a prick in a whole like of pricks.
She is not grown up yet, doesn't know how to own herself and her emotions.
The LDS Church is sending basically children out on missions - 18 years old is not old enough to handle it.
I don't know how the church leaders can be that ignorant.

I like Hugh's way of handling it. LOLOLOLOL He's right. No sense in letting some snooty little bastard run all over you.

At least she voiced some distress about it! My SIL is on a mission and everything is WONDERFUL MARVELOUS BLESSINGS. She even got seriously ill out there for awhile and it was such a BLESSING! Ugh really? I hate her emails with a passion. So fake.

To me, the worst part of the story is that she cried to her companion after she got off of the phone. It's one thing to come up with a strategy of how to deal with an authority figure who is unjustly--he didn't know what he was taking about--chewing you out (listen). That might not be the best strategy, Hugh's of chewing back might be better--but not one a sister missionary would try to pull. But it's even worse to break down and cry--self-pityingly--with another powerless person commiserating with you. This engrains learned helplessness, which becomes passive aggression. She neither stood up to authority, or took authority (as one would in the military). Instead she took on the passive role of helpless, crying, complainer about the injustice of the world. The signature Mormon female response to everything: gossip, complaint, and self-pity.

It's absurd to accuse someone of self-pity when someone abuses them and they actually HURT. It's normal to feel pain in that situation. You need to look at your own hostility toward other people here. The only time I hear someone accusing a victim who is showing a totally normal response of self-pity is when the speaker is an abuser himself and wants to justify his own bad behavior.

I agree with Good Grief. Crying is often a good outlet and somehow it often takes away the tension in the body. Sometimes you just have to have a good cry before you get to the point where it's time to kick some butt.

deleted...in the wrong place.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/11/2014 05:36PM by formermollymormon.

" (that had to do with the Hermanas in my group). He said a lot of things that weren't true and sounded like one of those mean girls in high school." This gave me the willies. What if her companion is bearing false reports to the zone leader?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/11/2014 05:42PM by me.

Sad. My sisters would have ripped him a new one.

The Zone Leader may have done your niece a huge favor, the fruits of which may ripen in the future.
Still...a shltty thing to have to endure!

that ZL will become a successful SP someday, that pattern will continue on and on and on...unfortunately.

Mormonism rewards the hardliner dickheads, and tramples the sincere.

20 years from now he will be lecturing a sacrament meeting audience for their lackluster performance in cleaning the building. They will all go home with a renewed determination to do better, he will go home with his priesthood ego stroked again.