Posted by:
anonforthisone
(
)
Date: October 20, 2014 12:00AM
As you pointed out, habits or occasional indulgences aren't addiction. Addiction happens when the behavior takes over, to the detriment of one's relationships, job, and whatever else. The addiction dominates the addict's mental landscape and everything else becomes a distraction.
There's also a component of secrecy, isolation, guilt, and often denial ("I don't have a problem. I can stop any time I want," or "I did that once or twice, but I don't anymore" when the last time was the previous day). The addict may try to quit dozens of times, but it never lasts.
Ex-DH had sexual addictions, including porn. He denied it, but spent hours locked in the bathroom, even when kids were pounding on the door to use the facilities. This was pre-smartphone, so there were magazines, videos, DVDs, and computer downloads everywhere, but he always insisted they weren't his. Near the end of our relationship, he was visiting 30-50 websites every day and spending several hours a day whacking off -- so much so that he had visible injuries (and, I heard, later had to have surgery so he could still function after he got remarried). He lost more than one job due to his problem. He's been diagnosed more than once as bipolar, with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder and adult ADHD.
I doubt your friends have these kinds of issues going on. Not everybody who gambles, drinks, shops, or masturbates will become addicted. But some will -- and do.