Posted by:
Has to be anon. Sorry
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Date: October 23, 2014 11:51AM
This is definitely off topic, but I need to off load and I do have some affinity with you guys and gals, even though I've never met you.
Bit of background - army veteran, special forces. Got to do a lot of nasty stuff in green ops (conventional warfare) and black ops (government denying any knowledge or culpability) - first combat tour and first kill was when I was aged 17 years. I was BIC with nutty parents, but always saw TSCC for the utter b*****t it represented and formally resigned quite a few years ago.
Had a big social event last week, with my girl's very well to do family - christening (my girl's sister's baby) at a catholic church - which went well until the reception. That is, until I completely f****d everything up. I completely freaked out; my girl thought I was having a heart attack as I was all pale and sweaty. I felt naked 'cos I wasn't armed and I hadn't got my buddies covering my back. I felt under imminent threat and couldn't shake that thought.
Now my girl thinks I'm a complete idiot and will hardly speak to me and her sister has ignored me completely, despite my attempts at apology.
It was stupid politicians who sent me to fight, where I almost ended up a forgettable statistic on many occasions, but where are they when I have to pick up the pieces of my shattered mind?
The ridiculous gaudy medallions they pinned to my chest as a consolation are just a mockery and pathetic insult.
Nobody understands. Nobody can understand. Most of my boys are dead due to combat or suicide.
Just venting. No response expected, especially as this post is long and boring.