I watched this.

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/entertainment2/58514075-223/church-movie-meet-mormons.html.csp

And now I wonder if I should go back to church? I really felt the spirit when I saw Freddy Kruger and learned that back before he became a frightening monster on Elms Street he gave people non-nutritional sugary treats when they needed food. What a guy.

And then there was that boxing woman. Like wow! I felt like I could kick some ass myself if I went back and had The Holy Ghost in my corner.

And the Utah Mormon woman? That voice! I heard the Utah lazy vowel mouth sounds and it was like an angel speaking directly to me and I wanted the peace she found!

It was so thrilling to have my heart touched by Heartsell done righteously.

I'm right there with you Elder! In fact, I'll go back with you. I'm so glad that the Morg now allows us to:

-Think outside the box and question authority
-Wear jeans and t-shirts to church with boxer-briefs(sometimes commando) underneath.
-Drink coffee before priesthood meeting to stay awake
-Enjoy craft beers with a few neighbors while shooting the bull
-Cuss like we're on RfM
-Love our non-member neighbors

What's that, these aren't allowed!?! I think I'll pass.

Brother Boner

byuboner Wrote:
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> -Think outside the box and question authority
> -Wear jeans and t-shirts to church with
> boxer-briefs(sometimes commando) underneath.
> -Drink coffee before priesthood meeting to stay
> awake
> -Enjoy craft beers with a few neighbors while
> shooting the bull
> -Cuss like we're on RfM
> -Love our non-member neighbors

All of these things don't preclude being a good person. Jesus hung out with sinners. Duh! But even these things aren't sins. Jesus didn't say don't drink or swear, wear comfortable clothing or not to drink stimulants.

And LDS Inc. is supposed to be a restoration of Jesus.

When Jesus said it didn't matter what one put in one's body, but rather it's what comes out of one's heart that defiles the body,he used an Aramaic expression that has been translated as "comes out of the sewer pipe", "cometh out of the body," and other polite expressions.

Biblical scholars have noted that the Aramaic was in the common language of the people and that the most accurate translation would be "comes out the shithole."

As to the swearing, he did say not to swear but let speech be yes and no. In my rationalization, I nit-pick that saying bad words is cussing, not swearing. Having been called on this, I have resolved to use my Anglo-Saxon words more carefully and only on special occasions.

You, Elder, may be called upon to pick up the slack! Boner.

Dave, Elder, and Boner--a threesome at church? Just kidding!

byuboner Wrote:
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> to the swearing, he did say not to swear but
> let speech be yes and no. In my rationalization, I
> nit-pick that saying bad words is cussing, not
> swearing. Having been called on this, I have
> resolved to use my Anglo-Saxon words more
> carefully and only on special occasions.

My bad.

> You, Elder, may be called upon to pick up the
> slack! Boner.

It has been awhile since I have been called or chosen.

Well, flip, Elder we're going to have to work on that! Boner

I think one of my family members is about to try to get me to go to church for three hours with him this Sunday. I am thinking about striking a deal with him. If he will spend three hours studying something like the CES letter with me, I will go to church for three hours with him. Church would do nothing to change me, but the CES letter might turn him into an entirely different person.<br>
<br>
I am sure that if "Meet the Mormons" was playing at the local theater this weekend, he would try to drag me there.

I hope you do that. I wish every person would strike the same deal every time a Mormon asks us to do anything church related. Its only fair.

When my nevermo kids were in elementary school, they were individually asked by Mormon friends to attend church with them. After my kids asked my permission, I suggested that they tell their friends, "Sure, I'll go to church with you, if you come to my church the next Sunday" (we went to the Unitarian Universalist church).

Their friends declined the exchange, and my kids were never asked again to go to the Mormon church, but maintained their friendships.

You can probably get an accurate membership count based on number of tickets sold.

You'll have to deduct SOME because unmarried young adults are sure to be especially inspired by it and will just HAVE to see it multiple times so they can show how worthy, wholesome and marriageable they are.

you might as well return.
you know you want to.

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
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> you know you want to.

Yeah, but there is that temple dead desecration stuff. I never really agreed to in in doing my work for myself. I bowed my head and said yes physically but mentally I was screaming no at the top of my lungs.

Yeah... but did you cross your fingers behind your back?

I did before I had to put one of them in front of me in a cupping shape.

Funny, I'm the great great great grandson of the man who came up with all that nonsense and I am a vehement opponent to granddaddy's rituals.

And where and why exactly, Elder, did you put the cupping shape? Sorry, I guess I'm still the Boner!

I wish I had cupped myself and told them to suck an oath out of me. That is at least how irked I was at being told to do such and such no questions asked.

You're being to see already!

Me being good and faithful has recieved further light and knowledge from boner.

Elder Berry Wrote:
------------------------------------------------------
> I really felt the spirit when I saw Freddy Kruger
> and learned that back before he became a
> frightening monster on Elms Street he gave people
> non-nutritional sugary treats when they needed
> food. What a guy.

Speaking of which, that old guy depicted in the video freeze-frame sure looks a lot like Freddy, with that hat.

I watched the entire trailer and he reminded me strongly of Kruger and it wasn't Mr. Kruger's Christmas.

Candy Bomber is creepy.

Maybe that's why my Mommy told me to never take candy from strangers...

Stopped at the Spanish Fork Utah Costco on way back to Az today and the Candy Bomber was doing a book signing. He had people lined up. Looked through his book briefly.

What did you think about it?