I am resigned from the church for a couple years now although very few people in my ward know this, save the bishop and SP due to the circumstances surrounding my resignation. I resigned because I knew it wasn't true and they called a church court on me for apostasy as I started enlightening some others in another ward.

I may get sucked back in for the sake of my family. Long story.

Anyway my questions are:

What is a resigned member allowed to do at church?

Can they join discussions in sunday school and priesthood?

What would I do if the EQ Prez (not knowing I had resigned) asked me to give a prayer? Decline and then everyone would then think I was exed or something and I was some wife beater or child molester (as of course no one ever leaves the church because of its historical problems). I also wonder what the bishop would do if he was there and saw that I was asked to give the closing prayer? Would he intervene and make a scene or just let me give one?

I have no desire to participate nor would I want to disrupt the meetings in any way. But I also don't want to cause any issues for my family. But I am wondering what my options are at church for participating in the meetings? Anyone know for sure?

anonforthis69 Wrote:
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> I may get sucked back in for the sake of my family. Long story.

We have the time. I can't imagine this scenario. You're an adult, you've resigned and it's evidently been working for you. Why on Earth would you go back? Are you living at home again? I think it will be very hard for you to fly under the radar given this set of circumstances.

You can do anything a non member can do as that is what you are: things like (generally) sing in the choir, join in discussions, go on a VT visit with a member, teach a class that does not require you be a member. That used to include Sun School. Check with the Bishop so you are Ok with what you do.
I know it's hard to get completely out as this is not just a church, it's a generational culture and your tribe.

anonforthis69 Wrote:
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> Anyway my questions are:

"What is a resigned member allowed to do at church? Can they join discussions in sunday school and priesthood?" Of course! Sunday SCHOOL - teach. Don't raise any "red flags" yourself... and if anyone else does: correct them. Be yourself.

"What would I do if the EQ Prez (not knowing I had resigned) asked me to give a prayer? Decline and then everyone would then think I was exed or something and I was some wife beater or child molester (as of course no one ever leaves the church because of its historical problems)." Pray. Who cares? "Current Mormon" prayers are no better or holy than "once Mormon" ones.

I also wonder what the bishop would do if he was there and saw that I was asked to give the closing prayer? Would he intervene and make a scene or just let me give one? Just do it, or ask him, because all bishops are different, in their opinions and informations.

I have no desire to participate nor would I want to disrupt the meetings in any way. But I also don't want to cause any issues for my family. But I am wondering what my options are at church for participating in the meetings? Anyone know for sure?

You didn't ask but it is a question many want to know or ask or comment on. Sacrament! Take the sacrament IF YOU WANT TO. This will surprise and confound some but it is your prerogative. It is Jesus that died for you, not some body elses soul, or however it goes. You are renewing your covents with Him, not them. Anyway

Hold the door open for others, sing, be cordial, answer politely and 'honestly' and have fun - make the best of it, in other words.

I can see how RfM is a resource for this question.

Isn't the best resource an adult conversation with the Mormon bishop of the ward?

Would that be too aggressive?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/29/2014 01:16PM by gentlestrength.

It is like quitting a 12 step program. You start at the first step again and they are all about getting you to number 12 again.

Feel foolish!

BadGirl Wrote:
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> n/t


There are valid reasons. It's not up to anyone else to decide what is best for someone else.

They like Church ____________ they just don't LIKE Church Doctrines.

That's one of the valid reasons to go along.

For some.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/29/2014 01:14PM by gentlestrength.

"some wife beater or child molester" - then you'd be just like JS and they'd worship you.

You can't do anything in the CULT so FU*K IT. Tell your family that you can't/won't live in a joke.

Anything you want to do, until they ask you to leave.
You basically get one shot to be honest.

Clean the toilets, of course!

Although I was not a member for many years. The one RS president came and ask me to demonstrate how to smoke ribs and pulled pork. Had a good time and got to know some of the women.

You werent "disciplined" like an exed individual or someone who is disfellowshiped. Therefore do whatever you want to do.If you are asked to pray, pray. Unless you dont want to, then decline.

People decline prayers for a range of reasons. Dont worry what others will think, as theyll always look for a reason to judge despite your actions.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/29/2014 04:14PM by nonsequiter.

pass gas

laugh

cry

sleep

brighten the place

be a fly on the wall

set an example

come and go as you please

ask questions
provide answers
MormonThink

Resigned...so why return?

Sure, as has been stated, there are many reasons. Then why resign in the first place? If you're going to be drawn back in, just go inactive. No need to resign.

Since the OP resigned, I must question their resolve!

I blame it on my penchant for brevity, coupled with sarcasm!

So, restating and quoting:

This part is important and sways the direction of commentary. The OP says, "I am resigned from the church for a couple years now although very few people in my ward know this, save the bishop and SP due to the circumstances surrounding my resignation. I resigned because I knew it wasn't true and they called a church court on me for apostasy as I started enlightening some others in another ward."

So, which is it? Resigned? Excommunicated? I can't tell by what was said! If the OP resigned, no way in hell could they be excommunicated afterwards! So, there's that.

Next, if the OP resigned, my moth analogy applies. If the OP was excommunicated, I can understand the desire to return.

So, the question of Resigned vs Excommunicated is important to this discussion.

I'd say just be honest. If anybody ever asks, or if you're ever asked to give a prayer, or anything like that, just tell the truth and say you've resigned, and you're just there for your family.

Unless your family don't know you resigned, then it's more complicated. You might just have to tell them in that case, because I think people will find out about it eventually. There's usually a high level of gossiping in mormon wards. The Bishop will probably talk about it with his counsellors, then one of them will tell their wife, then the whole of Relief Society will know, and so on.

I'm thinking the correct answer is "the same range of tasks that a never-mo participant would engage in."

My dad was a never-mo. He helped out in Boy Scouts, went on camping trips, would attend Sacrament Meeting on occasion if I or a sibling was giving a talk. Came to the 4th of July picnics and Christmas parties. Played the piano at my missionary farewell (circa 1986, don't know what the policy would be on that now).

If you want to attend and keep the peace and not be too uncomfortable, just politely decline whenever you're invited to do something that the ward folks wouldn't ask a nonmember to do. If asked about an opinion about something, you can give a generic, Bible-based or Protestant-based response without feeling out of place.

Be gracious, sit toward the back of the room in Sunday School, help out with the young men programs, volunteer to clean the toilets. Make a deal with DW -- you'll attend Sacrament meeting every week, but skip out on SS and PH every-other-week, then go home and mow the lawn or clean the kitchen and fix everyone lunch.

Good luck, stay chill, stay sane.
RG

No reason you cannot pray if you want to. And however you want to. Otherwise you might speak with the EQP and tell him you are not going to accept invitations to pray (either with or without a reason).

While it is true that a former member is just a non-member, it is also true that disrupting people can be given trespass warnings. So if I were trying to participate there, I would mind my manners.

Tries to regain what they have lost by virtue of the absurd.

"Resignation - Infinite resignation is the experience of giving up what one holds dearest and reconciling oneself with the pain of that loss. The movement of infinite resignation is exemplified by the tragic hero, like Agamemnon, who must resign himself to the loss of his daughter, Iphigenia. The knight of faith also experiences infinite resignation, but moves beyond this point to regain what he has lost, by virtue of the absurd. "
http://www.sparknotes.com/philosophy/feartrembling/terms.html

And I have trouble finding virtue in Mormon absurdity and I never was a Knight of Mormon Faith.

anonforthis69 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am resigned from the church for a couple years
> now although very few people in my ward know this,
> save the bishop and SP due to the circumstances
> surrounding my resignation. I resigned because I
> knew it wasn't true and they called a church court
> on me for apostasy as I started enlightening some
> others in another ward.
>
> I may get sucked back in for the sake of my
> family. Long story.
>
> Anyway my questions are:
>
> What is a resigned member allowed to do at church?
>
>
> Can they join discussions in sunday school and
> priesthood?
>
> What would I do if the EQ Prez (not knowing I had
> resigned) asked me to give a prayer? Decline and
> then everyone would then think I was exed or
> something and I was some wife beater or child
> molester (as of course no one ever leaves the
> church because of its historical problems). I
> also wonder what the bishop would do if he was
> there and saw that I was asked to give the closing
> prayer? Would he intervene and make a scene or
> just let me give one?
>
> I have no desire to participate nor would I want
> to disrupt the meetings in any way. But I also
> don't want to cause any issues for my family. But
> I am wondering what my options are at church for
> participating in the meetings? Anyone know for
> sure?


You are free, why would you put your hands on the plow and look back. Praise God because he had favor on you and freed you from your oppressor’s bondage. You are no longer a slave of the evil whoremonger antichrist Joseph Smith and the Hell bound members of his cult. Rejoice you have found favor in the Lords eyes.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/29/2014 06:35PM by zenith.

Thank you all for your responses. To clarify i resigned to avoid likely being excommunicated for apostasy. They called a court on me but i resigned to avoid the stigma of being excommunicated as my family are still in the Church and i didn't want to cause them more harm than necessary.

My family has been inactive for some time but they are thinking of going back for social reasons. I am against the idea but i am not a dictator to my family.

I am not sure how this will all play out yet. They may not end up returning to activity. I may stay home if they decide to go. I may go with my wife to assist her with kids. I don't know. The reason i may do this sacrifice is to keep peace at home and avoid a lot of unpleasantness and fighting by not being with my family. Trust me that having an actual church court called on me was not particularly fun for me and my family. I know from some of your perspectives this seems like an easy issue but it is not for my family.

Thanks for the support

I may soon find myself in your situation. My best to you and your family.

As an aside, to show how much I empathize, I was actually excommunicated once before as the result of living with a woman after my divorce from my first wife. In other words, ex'd for adultery. After dumping my live in, clawing my way back, getting remarried and being obedient, Neil Andersen restored my priesthood blessings.

Years later, I have a TBM wife (we've been married for 23 years - she's my best friend, too). I'm a total unbeliever. I'm up sh!t creek.

So, I know what it's like to be excommunicated. I want to experience resignation! But, TBM wife, TBM family, TBM in-laws...

It just sucks...

Please keep us posted on how things progress for you. You will find support here when things don't go well and cheers when they do.

Best wishes (again)!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/30/2014 11:29AM by moose.

According to the handbook non members can lead music be the organist or assistant scout leader but can't teach or be in administrative positions

In my opinion supporting you wife at church is a good thing to do. A marriage is give and take if you can do it one ear in and one ear out with that crazy church talking why not. I got very upset hearing the RS lessons about Joseph Smith and I had a hard time staying quiet.
My cousin doesn't believe in the church but he goes with his wife almost every Sunday to support her they have 3 foster care kids living with them. He is not resigning from the church because it would really hurt his wife. He worked with the 11 year old scouts and sometimes says the prayer in church.
Your wife is less likely to be bullied when you are around and she will get less pity talks (oh you poor thing have an inactive husband). Also you can protect your kids better if you are there that they don't have to be alone with the bishop for interviews. Some bishops ask about masturbation and do a lot of harm during those interviews instead of just asking if they keep the law of chastity.

It depends on the dynamics of the branch or ward your in. If its away from Zion's Curtain then you'll probably be coerced to being substitute for anything less than being the branch president. But if your in Zion (aka N.Utah) you should be able to duck and hide in the background.

Do you really want this for your children? You know it is another Mormon lie, that the Mormon church is a good place to raise children. The Mormon children in our neighborhood were some of the worst!

Don't throw your children under the bus. Your family will break up, as your wife gets further involved with the RS women, and your children get pressured into doing things they don't want to do, and being with people they don't want to be with.

Your children will be coerced into giving the church 10% of their allowance, so be sure to pay them more.

Your children and your wife will be pressured to bring YOU to the temple. Your kids will want you to be a "forever family" because the Mormon teachers will threaten them, that they will be ALONE in the hereafter, unless YOU and your wife and kids are sealed in the very expensive temple ceremony. It is all lies, invented to separate people from their money, and, if necessary, they will separate them from their families to get money, too.

The best way to prevent Mormon bullying is to keep your children far away from the cult.

My children were physically shoved onto the floor, kicked while on the floor, kicked in the butt going up the stairs, in their own home, while I was at church playing the organ. My kids were simply exhausted after an active school week and two early morning paper routes in the snow. What kind of "religion" breaks into your house, pulls your kids out of bed, kicks them and shoves them into a car and drives them to church, then stands guard and keeps them imprisoned there? Is this Christ's way? Where's the love?

If you are patient, and stay where you are, wherever that is, your children will have the freedom to decide for themselves. Your wife will never know how nasty Mormons can be, if you are constantly smoothing her path. Let her see the Truth, on her own! Otherwise, you will be the "bad guy" and the cult might break up your family, too. Read about what's happened to some of these posters who let the cult dictate their lives.

I challenge you to ASK your children how they feel about church, then to shut up and LISTEN to what they have to say. children can be wiser than adults--hence, the early Mormon brainwashing. Respect your children. Love them. Put them first.

Funny how in other Christian churches you do not have to be a member to fully participate. Mormons always show their hand with this situation. The fact that the Handbook states that they cannot teach or hold certain positions demonstrates the fear they have for those have been to the mountain and seen or even been beyond the pale of Mormonism. It shows the loathing that they have for members who have gained knowledge outside the so-called "simple truths" (read: "'truths' for simpletons").

10% of what they are able to do in the real world, if that.

Developing you family's social and strength quotient by entertaining yourselves will will provide longer lasting and much more fulfilling results. Nobody needs (TMC) a coordinator telling them what to do and how to do it, forcing them through a funnel, into a glass jar, with a tight fitting lid, to sit on a Mormon shelf fraternity.

Y'all left for good reasons. Follow the (real) leaders - yourselves. Find something else to do for three hours on a Sunday. Study, play, travel together; branch out; find your happiness - again - and hold on tightly.