A friend of mine just lost her husband to stomach cancer. They had been married for 4 months... he was diagnosed 3 months ago. As part of the whole thing, she lost her step children too because she has no rights to them in our state.

I'm left feeling tongue tied and awkward around her. I don't know what to do or say. Help?

As long as there is biological family, I am unaware of any state in which she would have custody rights in that situation.

Express your sympathy and make a concrete offer to help in some way (fix her dinner, take her out to diner or some other outing that the two of you enjoy).

Don't ask if there is anything you can do. People don't know whether you mean that or are just expressing sympathy. Make it a specific offer.

You help by being there. You can't control the legal situation-neither can she. She feels lost & you can help her to feel a little secure. Time will settle things down. Don't make rash decisions based on imaginary time lines. Be a good friend. The kind of friend that you would want if the situation was reversed. You're a good person for helping your friend in a very difficult time in her life. Keep it up.

I would just listen to her in a sympathetic manner for as much as she wants to talk. Encourage her to be kind to herself and to give herself mental pats on the back for whatever small things she can accomplish during the day. Tell her that people mourn in many different ways, and that whatever gets her through each day is A-Okay. Offer to take her out for lunch or an afternoon snack.

Notify Church Headquarters and Tommie Monson will visit her - if she knows how to bake cookies. Then talk about it in Conference.

Allow her to cry with you. It makes most people too uncomfortable and that makes it harder for her to share.

Call and ask how she is doing and if she needs a ride, or would like to go to lunch.
The death of a spouse takes a long time just for the legal changes. Offer to help.
Let her talk. Some people need to talk to process all of it.
If you know she likes a particular food or flower, take something small to her as a gift.
Just the fact that you are thinking about her helps.
I've been through that situation recently, however we were married for over 50 years.
It talks awhile for her to adjust to her New Normal.